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Carry over to R/L? - 3/8/2010 4:58:47 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Ladies and gents, do you ever have problems with your BDSM life spilling over into your real life?

My dear Wall-e came to visit Thursday night and we had a WONDERFUL session.  Just what I needed!  But that was my first play time in months of feeling depressed and hormonal.  I did sort of 'hold onto' that lovely 'Domme Space' a bit longer than usual.  His visit only wet my appetite and made me a touch bolder than usual.

Saturday morning, I was helping out a local theater doing a Promotion for Alice in Wonderland.  I was dressed as the Red Queen.  (I am SO doing that outfit at Frolicon!  I just love it!)  The theater has a connection with an adorable 20ish year old boy who is a professional Jack Sparrow (Johny Depp) impersonator for Disney.  He was doing the Mad Hatter.   He was doing this wonderful bit of sneaking up on me and then kneeling, cowering away and trembling.  Ladies, do you know how much that made my mouth water?  I so wanted to grab that boy by the hair and just eat him up!

One little girl kept running up to my cute little Hatter and proclaiming "I'm not afraid of YOU!" and then he would run and she would chase him.  The two were adorable.  I kept calling her "My little apprentice."  I told 'Hatter' that the girl obviously had a mad crush on him and would be all over him in a few years.  He rolled his eyes and said "Yes!  I know!  It happens all the time."  I laughed about my first crush on a boy in the 4th grade.  I kicked poor Ricky in the shins every day.  The boy was black and blue from his knees to his ankles all the time.  Hatter asked "I wonder what became of him?"  I said "Well, I grew up to be a FemDom, maybe he grew up to be a sub."  Hatter looked very confused and said "What?"  I realized that I had just given away FAR to much information and laughed it off, waving my hand and saying "Your fans want you!  Go play!"

Now.... If I had not just been kicking Wall-e around the room 48 hours prior, would I have remembered poor Ricky?  If I had not been enjoying the look of true pain and terror in Wall-e's eyes, would that young actor's mock shaking and flinching have turned me on so much?

It was bad enough back when Westie was around and one of my customers had very similar soft, puppy eyes.  Whenever I saw that young man, my heart would skip a beat and I would want to hug him and pinch his nipples.  Totally inappropriate thoughts.

I can't be the only one who has noticed those strange desires when a person in your real life reminds you of the session / partner that you last 'played' with.  So very hard to control myself when that happens.  I wonder what they think when my eyes start to dilate when I look at them?


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/8/2010 5:14:26 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		I thought about this for a bit, and to be honest, no. And here is why it doesn't for me.

Everything that revolves around BDSM is very intimate for me. I keep it a very private part of my life, not out of secrecy, but rather because I like it that way. It brings out a very vulnerable part of me and that is a vulnerability I do not wish to share with the overwhelming majority of people.

Also, I am not just a BDSM Dominant. I have a dominant personality. I'm also a flirt. Those things alone exist outside of BDSM and many non-kinky people have it. So when I am my natural self, I don't see it as my worlds spilling over.

I hope that made sense :-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/8/2010 6:29:54 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Ladies and gents, do you ever have problems with your BDSM life spilling over into your real life?


I didn't think I'd ever say this, but: No.  I'd quite like it to spill over into my real life a little more than it does already.

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/8/2010 6:33:54 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I never play in public these days. I just despise the game playing and energy stealing that seems to happen too often when you expose yourself to "players" that way.

Besides,a lot of what I like to do freaks out an average "scenester" too much.

So no, it's never an issue at all.

< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 3/8/2010 6:34:26 PM >

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/8/2010 8:18:34 PM   
beej


Posts: 145
Joined: 1/24/2010
Status: offline 		i was at ballroom dance class today actually, practicing my East Coast Swing. another couple was on the floor learning and they are a little more advanced than me, so when a fast song came on, my instructor said that he was going to change the tune to something slower. all Southern Gent like, my instructor said to the other couple about me, "She's new to this scene," which i am, to dancing and to BDSM. "She likes it slow and easy," which i don't because my dom, Wood, has me hooked on the rough stuff. i snorted unglamorously loudly since i'd been thinking about Wood all class long, and you know how people can tell that you have sex on the brain? i must've had those dilated eyes that you mentioned, MsStarlett, because my instructor switched the music to a waltz right away. :snickers:

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/9/2010 4:01:15 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		That's exactly what I'm talking about Beej, when others probably think your mind is on sex, and it's actually on something way more kinky.

Poor, dear Peon.  You are normally wishing that you had more of a BDSM life to spill over... Get your ass over here right now and we'll work on that. 

Once, over a year ago, a very hot UPS man was using his gravity boots in the gym.  All his clothes were falling off his fine bod in that inverted position.  He had a heavy silver 'dog' chain around his neck.  All I could think about was "I have floggers in the car.  Stay RIGHT there!"  When I get that "OMG, I'd love to hit that." feeling  .... It's a totally different thing than what others think of these days.

Since I've been on CM and been through so many discussions involving Pro Dommes and Tributes... I've developed this odd 'inside joke' of "Some people pay extra for that."  or  "I know some guys on the net who would pay good money for that."  I tend to use it whenever someone seems to be hinting at being kinky.  (or, as in when I was plying the Red Queen - I would say "I need a warm pig for my aching feet!" - then as an aside to an adult "Bet I could find someone on the net to play piggy for me.  They always laugh, but nothing much else.)   So far, it hasn't really caught me any new play pretties, but it has opened up discussions with other kinksters.  Sadly, most of the men I seem to 'out' are all Dominants. 

Maybe my inner Domme has just been hibernating to long over the winter.  Now that it's spring, she wants to come out and play more.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/9/2010 4:20:40 AM   
Amanece


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: San Juan, Puerto Rico
Status: offline 		Je, je..I know exactly what you mean, Ms. Starlett! I feel the same. And I am surprised whenever I move my Ds. into real life. I expect real life to be reviewed in my Ds. but when it happens to other way it is fun to realize that it really is all one , just in some moments more intimate and kinkier...
It has happenned to me in my job situation. as the boss, many times. One of my latest sub, was having to have him, from rl to the dungeon...jeje

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/9/2010 10:13:50 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Poor, dear Peon.  You are normally wishing that you had more of a BDSM life to spill over...


Oh no, Ms S.  I didn't mean that.  In the past, I've always been cagey about how far I want a D/s relationship to spread beyond the bedroom.  Now, as a result of certain recent events,  I find myself changing my mind quite rapidly. 

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/9/2010 2:31:17 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		It's not a problem, but yes. Now and then I'm a little stern, bitchy towards my slave when out in public. As I don't want to choque anyone, I need to control this. But I'll never let my husband/slave glide away from his role of servant. There are enough key-phrases he recognizes when needed.

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/9/2010 7:57:58 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I've used the energy to get doors opened or favors done before. I don't generally out myself in public, though. It's a conservative area, and I'm sure that most people just think that I have some exceptionally well-trained boyfriends.

Which I do. Only "boyfriend" isn't the word we prefer to use to describe it....


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Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/10/2010 4:34:43 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Now, as a result of certain recent events,  I find myself changing my mind quite rapidly. 


OH!  Do tell!  Send me a PM if it's to private to post.

(I do hope my little demented elf has found a nice play pretty!)


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/10/2010 4:45:05 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hey!  Less of the 'little'.  And she's not a 'play pretty'!

But you're OK with the 'demented' and 'elf;' bits.

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RE: Carry over to R/L? - 3/12/2010 8:15:30 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

I like dominating subs in public and dressing domme but I respect limits of the public. I don't walk down the street carrying a whip or bend a sub over my knee and spank him in public, etc. That's more suitable for femdom parties I have with my Mistress friends. When I have a sub wear a collar in public I choose one that's discreet instead of a big dog collar. I like it when a sub gets on his knees for me when we're out but we choose a vacant staircase and other more private spots.

Hope this helps.

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Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

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