RE: Damned Disappointing

RE: Damned Disappointing (Full Version)

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fergus -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 8:07:25 PM)
Well, PM me the info. Maybe I will go. fergus

Misstoyou -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 8:15:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Contesaluv Sweet Fergus, I can't believe that a Domme has let You down! ... Ditto that! I really don't understand this whole bailing mentality. Meeting somebody doesn't have to be this huge scary lifetime committment. It's just meeting somebody. And if you're lucky, it can be someone like Fergus. [:)]

michaelGA -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 8:18:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fergus sigh I think yet another Domme has disappeared off the face of the earth when we were getting close to meeting. A "wow, I don't think this is such a good idea after all" would've been MUCH better than no word. Heck, even a "go away you assh*le" would've been better! lol, anyway, I have been staying away from the site and BDSM for awhile .... hard enough to find a Domme in the FIRST place, but this can get damned discouraging! fergus and this is a surprise...how?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 8:39:37 PM)
Eh I had a first date on Saturday myself. I thought we had a great time, both enjoyed ourselves, both reaffirmed often throughout the evening that we were having a good time, both agreed to email and keep contact afterwards. Nada. I called and we spoke briefly on Tues and he claimed he had to go and said he'd call again later. Nada. C'est la vie. I'm in a good position that, for me, a date really IS just a date. I've got partners, I wasn't looking for another. I didn't really lose much. Yes, I'd like to know where the mix-up was between his mouth saying "Had a great time, hope to do it again, call you later" and his actions of well, NOT doing that, but it's no big deal either way. You move on.

apb -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 8:47:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fergus lol, anyway, I have been staying away from the site and BDSM for awhile .... hard enough to find a Domme in the FIRST place, but this can get damned discouraging! fergus Hi fergus! Probably a day late and a dollar short on this one ... but I would say stop looking. One will sneak up on ya' when least expected ... that's what happened to me a month or so ago .... big love p.s. you're cute

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 9:30:49 PM)
Awww Fergus, I think you're darn cute. I hope you have better luck!

Vendaval -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/30/2006 10:58:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fergus sigh I think yet another Domme has disappeared off the face of the earth when we were getting close to meeting. What a cowardly act! A "wow, I don't think this is such a good idea after all" would've been MUCH better than no word. Heck, even a "go away you assh*le" would've been better! Sounds like another Online player who did not have the balls, or in this case the ovaries, to meet a real person in real life. lol, anyway, I have been staying away from the site and BDSM for awhile .... hard enough to find a Domme in the FIRST place, but this can get damned discouraging! fergus If you feel the need for some alone time and introspection; play your guitar and write some pissed off songs to share with your friends, that is all good. But you have many people here who think you are a hell of a great guy who deserves a loving, kinky relationship. So maybe it is selfish on O/our parts, but please stay and share your wonderful compassionate, wise, funny self with the rest of the perverts. Blessed Be, -Vendaval-

Evanesce -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 1:57:42 AM)
:::sendin' hugs to fergus::: I don't know you well, but from what I've read on this forum, you seem to be a really great guy, and that domme was a fool and a coward. At least you found that out now, rather than later. It sucks when they vanish like that, because you don't get any kind of real closure and are left to wonder why, but don't give up. The right one for you is out there. Have faith, dear one.

RiotGirl -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 2:06:05 AM)
fergus - they always appear when you're not looking. i eventually got tired of finding nothing so i spoke to ALOT of doms.. none that i was really interested in.. a few had possiblities.. but none that had me "going" and then one day in the midst of my chatting with 4 different Doms (all friend like (both sides) with poss good future outcomes) and then one day one popped up that had me "going" They ALWAYS pop up when you decided to say "screw it" just sit back.. enjoy your chats with the Domme's.. have fun.. make friends.. and before you know it.. one will pop up and things will take off.

Oumae -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 2:13:56 AM)
I think most online have gone through this at some stage, chatting to someone who just vanishes with no word. If they were a time waster don't waste your time on them, you are a confident guy and know you deserve better. Maybe try the munch, they are a good way to make friends. Best of luck with it Fergus. May the wind be at your back. Oumae

LionessInBoots -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 2:27:05 AM)
fergus, I dont know you, but from what I have read you seemd like you are very well liked. Im sorry this happened to you, but dont give up. not all Dommes are that shallow. the right One will come along and your journey to get to Her will have been worth it. keep your chin up.. looks like you have a great support system in friends here on the forums. if you need to talk to somoene some say Im a good listener. stay on your path and stay teh same just be yourself. and some Domme will come along when you least expect Her. good luck and have fun meeting and getting to know P/people along the way. >^;^< The Lioness

zebra -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 6:52:31 AM)
The hardest part for me when this happens, Fergus, is that I end up not trusting. It just happened again to me...."I'll be there for you no matter what, can't wait to meet you, etc.," then ... just ... gone. Or real life gets in the way. (Isn't it nice to know that you're about 12 rungs down the ladder when it comes to "real life" concerns? Hey...I FEEL real!) Or whatever. So the next man approaches and I think, "I'm not going to let this one hurt me," which means that right from the start I'm coming from a defensive position. I just cannot figure out how to stay open and willing and looking while also trying to protect myself (and especially the little girl inside) from those who are (whether they know it or not) lying about their intentions. Please, doms, please....Don't make promises you can't keep. They hurt. And let us know if you're taking a powder. Your honesty will allow us to trust the one who comes along and really does want to be with us.

fergus -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 10:30:10 AM)
"Or real life gets in the way. (Isn't it nice to know that you're about 12 rungs down the ladder when it comes to "real life" concerns? Hey...I FEEL real!)" Hey, that busy life thing DOES get in the way, and for a first meeting and all ... I TOTALLY understand when that happens! Lol, I just wish they would TELL me if that were the reason and not just disappear ;) Anyway, you lot have been VERY encouraging :) Yes, I DO talk to several people as friends, both Domina and sub alike. (and like hearing from new people all the time). I may grow old waiting for the right person to come along ... but at least I will never grow so old that I have 'too many' friends :) Thanks everyone. fergus

MizSuz -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 3:44:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zebra I just cannot figure out how to stay open and willing and looking while also trying to protect myself (and especially the little girl inside) from those who are (whether they know it or not) lying about their intentions. How about adopting a policy that interaction online and phone is just that and nothing more. A kind of 'smoke' or 'vapor' perhaps with the whisper of potential. Don't put any more emotional investment into online interactions than that. Let face time, preferably lots of face time, be the minimum bar before you will emotionally invest. Everything else is just 'fun.' It works great for me.

talmar -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 4:10:37 PM)
I understand your frustration & share it. I haven't had alot of luck on here. Just alot of one line crap with no follow throughs. Fortunately there are many ways to meet people. And I do like this board & the people on it.

dave1212 -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 4:25:53 PM)
Hey fergus, i haven't got much time or many post's under my belt as yet but keep plodding on buddy.. you seem like a nice guy and your post's are very good [:D]

Misstoyou -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 5:22:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MizSuz Let face time, preferably lots of face time, be the minimum bar before you will emotionally invest. Everything else is just 'fun.' It works great for me. Yep. Submissives don't seem to care for it, but a person doesn't become real to me until I meet him.

Contesaluv -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 5:22:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zebra Please, doms, please....Don't make promises you can't keep. They hurt. And let us know if you're taking a powder. Your honesty will allow us to trust the one who comes along and really does want to be with us. Well my goodness! Would the real and good Dom\mes please stand up! I've just begun my journey in a real way and can't say that I have any ill intentions but I know this. I know what I'm looking for. I know what I need. I know what I'm willing to and not willing to do. If the right sub comes along I'll know it because his character, desire to serve, along with what he's willing to have done to him and not willing to have done to him will meet all the criteria that I'm steadfast on. Then a mutually beneficial relationship, be it LTR or STR will blossom and grow from open and honest and continuous communication. Life is about change so I'm even prepared that if down the line it turns or changes two were our growth has created diverging paths well then, so be it and on to the next. I'm not cold-hearted just realistic about this life of ours. Just like there are seasons, there are changes for us too. Oh Hell! I say, live, laugh, love (at least once) and if you're lucky you'll get to dominate or submit to more than one special one (at the time)! For me, the more I laugh and help others to laugh, the less you'll tend to focus on the the changing seasons. Yatta, yatta, yatta and catta!!!!...LOL

Ariel -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 5:23:08 PM)
Be good to yourself, and your mind, they are what matters the most in the long term.

Level -> RE: Damned Disappointing (3/31/2006 5:44:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: champagnewishes Ahhh fergus----{{{hugs}}}. No two ways about it, it just sucks. And it really sucks when it happens to such a good person as yourself. Makes me want to track Her down, hang Her by Her heels and tell Her exactly what she missed out on. (wow, where did THAT come from? ) **leans over and whispers.......... actually, I think fergus might prefer if you'd hang him up by his heels and so on and so forth.........smiles Seriously........fergus, hang in there. Things get better.**

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