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First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 4:53:53 PM

hmf42

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Joined: 3/9/2010
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I am going to visit a Dom this weekend and I am sure there will be others there. I will also be bound and used by both male and female along with some CBT,NPT,strap-on and giving oral to both and possibly more. I have to say that I do trust the Dom I am going to see and that is one thing that makes me want to go through with this. I have fantasized this for a long time and now that it is finally gonna take place, I am getting butterflies and a little nervous. Is this common and how should I deal with this?
About a year ago I set something up with a different person and ended up turning chicken.
Any advice would be welcomed

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 5:00:47 PM

LadyPact

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First piece of advice: I know the idea is hot and all, but have you asked about the test results for those participating with you physically about STD's? One night of fun isn't worth the complications to the rest of your life. In all seriousness, see the test results with your own eyes.

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 5:23:06 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Insist on using condoms/dental dams on anyone with whom you have sexual contact. Even if you see STD test results (and you should), just because they tested clean last week doesn't mean they haven't picked up something since then. Refuse to engage in oral, anal, or vaginal sex with anyone who refuses to use safe sex practices. Make unsafe sex a hard limit, be upfront about this limit, and stick to it no matter what.

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 5:29:27 PM

beej

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Joined: 1/24/2010
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i agree with LadyPact. just because you trust your guy doesn't mean that you should trust everyone else there, especially if you haven't had a chance to check out their specs. have you had actually physical experience with your Dom before? i guess i'm wondering whether your faith is based in what he did to you before or whether your faith is in his judgement in general, because walking into that situation, your safety and all are riding on his judgement.

after/if you address that, feeling nervous is good, right? to a certain extent, it's a sign of excitement. especially facing something that you've fantasized about, you're bound to be giddy just to see how reality compares to what you were hoping for. if you're afraid that you'll be so nervous that you'll chicken out again, well, i dunno but chickening out usually signals to me that i'm deeply afraid and need to take my ass home. i had a first experience a month ago, and i freaked out from nervousness right in front of the dude's house while he was watching. but i wasn't afraid i was just having a hard time getting my kit off so abruptly, lol. maybe you should talk about why you chickened out the last time and then compare that to the circumstances this time. it may help to ease your mind.

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 5:56:30 PM

Lockit

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You don't trust the dom you are going to see? Because you are afraid or because you don't trust the dom? What is it you don't trust?

No way would I recommend going with a dom you don't trust just because it sounds hot. Use brain cells when thinking this through. Those hot cells will get you into trouble.

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 6:02:39 PM

Kaiel

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Joined: 4/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hmf42

I am going to visit a Dom this weekend and I am sure there will be others there. I will also be bound and used by both male and female along with some CBT,NPT,strap-on and giving oral to both and possibly more. I have to say that I do trust the Dom I am going to see and that is one thing that makes me want to go through with this. I have fantasized this for a long time and now that it is finally gonna take place, I am getting butterflies and a little nervous. Is this common and how should I deal with this?
About a year ago I set something up with a different person and ended up turning chicken.
Any advice would be welcomed

I have a question, have you met this person before?

I would not put Myself into any sexual situation without knowing the person. Having a hot fantasy is all fine and dandy, but really getting to know someone before group sex or group bondage... is pretty important. Because essentially you have no idea what kind of situation you're walking into.

I agree 100% with LadyPact and Sylvere...if you are going to go through with this unsafe sex should be a HARD LIMIT and STD testing should be required before the activity for everyone.

< Message edited by Kaiel -- 3/9/2010 6:03:37 PM >

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/9/2010 7:47:07 PM

Madame4a

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Do you know anyone... really know them, that will be involved? Have you met this person?

If not, I'd reconsider the whole thing.xz

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RE: First Time Visit - 3/12/2010 8:09:37 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Joined: 2/24/2006
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Hi.

It helps to discuss with them by email and phone what your limits are and remind them of this again when you arrive. It's often the fear of limits not being respected that many subs worry about. Consential is important. And leave a note with someone you trust about where your going and who you'll be meeting with.

Hope this helps.

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