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sfogarty -> RE: Ideas for service (4/4/2006 12:40:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: babyblues
i have seen many subs say that they are not service-oriented, so i'm curious.....what orientation are you? what else is there other than foreseeing and providing His every need? whether it be sexually or basic physical needs (food, drink, massage, etc) or taking care of the house and household etc....
i am honestly curious what you do and what type of relationship you have....and who takes care of all of those tasks for Him?
Submission oriented. :)
To me, submission is a primal feeling. Service, slavery, ownership, property are all high level, societal concepts. Submission is animal... if you are romantic, it's the alpha wolf asserting dominance and getting the submission they are due. I'm a bit less romantic, so I liken it to rat dominance. We keep pet rats. It's not /hard/ to assert dominance over me (I'm quite helpful, actually), and I'd hardly call it a struggle, but it's that kind of primal control.
Now there are things that are 'the dominant's due', that they have earned by virtue of asserting their dominance. Service can be one of these, but it is particularly tricky for a number of reasons.
(1) Submission is very heady. I'm lucky if I can get a drink in a cup without spilling, none the less anything resembling carpentry.
(2) When I am submissive I crave physical contact. I've done entire scene that are based around withholding of physical contact, and those can get me to cry for /far/ longer th any amount of pain. Service that accepts physical contact is easy, service that requires avoiding it is difficult.
(3) I'm in a primal, no-mind state. Most concepts aren't going to make a lot of sense to me. 'Keep track of this' I can manage. Fetching something I can manage. Managing a bunch of people into figuring out where we are going to eat? Not going to happen. I'd be confused, lost, and helpless.
Now as a note here I am not submissive 24/7. I can certainly be in a submissive state for long periods of time (days), but at some point I do need to leave, come back to myself, and interact on a plane of rough equality.
Note 2 is that even when I am not in a deeply submissive state, I can feel mildly submissive to someone and perhaps accomplish service. But it doesn't feed my submission, doesn't make it deeper, and my partners can feel that and it doesn't really feed them either.
Note 3 is that, under certain mind-altering substances, I actually become /very/ service oriented. Much more in the, I think, gay leather tradition of service being a directed role. Being given tasks, and accomplishing them as quickly and competently as possible. Dedicating oneself to service, rather than to figuring out what they want. (although certainly suggesting things is possible, but one doesn't... go off and do them. You don't leave their side unless they tell you to, what if they came up with something more important?).
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