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MHOO314 -> The Next Steps (3/31/2006 7:02:51 AM)
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When a LDR makes plans to become a 24/7 LTR--
Many of you have been watching the growing relationship between subtoFemDommes and Myself--I see many posts about LDR and I thought I would share some of O/our "now what" experiences so that others can learn from them as well---and don't panic, W/we are still very much in love--he is My soulsubmate for sure!
Ok, I am in NC and he is in Seattle, 3011 miles apart as the crow flies--so we really have an LDR! (My first recommendation is if you have one of these--get one of the great unlimited phone calling plans---for 39.99 a month, I W/we can talk whenever- and with an unmentionable in the house--what I saved the first month alone was invaluable! OR an after hours free calling plan---W/we have both so we can do spur of the moment calling as well)--anyway--
We met first week of February, it was awesome, with plans to return in April but I was blessed with a Vegas trip in March for business- (so yes I sent for the boy)--this was a good test of what we thought we had and him seeing the work side of Me--well and the work side of some of My work "cronies"--this is where the hard slap of reality starts to set in, IF you haven't realized that there is a real life out there--needless to say the week was glorious--talk of relocation dances on the fringes--not IF but When--knowing that the details need to soon follow.
When it is time to part--separation anxiety is the ugly monster that can dance over one's bed in the night--and all effort--ALL EFFORT must be made to keep things focused, front and center--and no I don't mean the "kneel sub" part--I mean the integration and actualization of the real life things that happen day to day, moment to moment that can interfere, cause wonder, fear and anxiety.
I return to My world, the world that will be his, he returns to the world that must continue but also be sorted, evaluated, milestones established, timeframes implemented--oh and yes, life friends to prepare and uhm oh yeah family to uhm prepare that there is a woman in the picture--I do not make light of thise--these are real lessons to bring some light to those who lightly say "relocation"--he never did, he knew, he persists, but if you think its easy, it isn't--he is leaving friends, family--for a world that he will know before summer, but he knows little of yet visually--really and with an added element--there is someone else in My life--an unmentionable--that will be another chapter later this spring--
After Vegas, I return to the normal flurry of activity as does he--but the lack of the physical human dynamic knocks on the door, when least expected. I hate the word "work" it sounds like drudgery--but its the only word I can use--Work--physical and mental commitment to bridge the gap, keep things alive--D/s protocols BUT sharing of the intimacies of life--from the hated boss at work, to what's fixed for dinner, to the weather, to news--every moment must be directed to the closeness--to the bridge, to the ultimate goal--not agressive, domineering, but the development of T/two people who will combine lives--
W/we both know where we are at any given moment--we share daily schedules--we IM, his greets Me when I wake as does Mine to him, we talk, we IM--he gets commands, he gets hugs, I send him cards, surprises--it is My hand reaching for him--he calls, I can tell when he is welled up with O/our emotion--he also calls just to share the sunset.
W/we discuss the mundane--bills, packing things, fixing cars, work, the horses---he recently loss a dear friend, although we knew it was coming--he had to suffer through this without Me--he is a man of great strength who can more than fend for himself--but I wanted to be there to catch and kiss the tears--but he felt Me--he knew I was with him--he stroked the silver chain he wears that says "belonging".
And so he is in the midst of the beginning of " this stays, this goes, this gets cleaned"--and working and life--I am blessed, he has shared his friends with Me and we have grown close-so we can all share the activity of Seattle--but there is no reference to here for him---YET
At times as he said, when we are apart--it feels as if O/our time together was surreal. But 20 days from tomorrow, I will be there with him again--making him realize just how real it is. [;)]
I hope this helps--and I hope we can as we go offer advice and maybe help other LDR's make it--
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