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Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 5:48:36 PM   
Woolrich


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm new to the site and I'm always curious. I've also got some training in marketing. I wanted to understand a little about what kind of market I'm in, with this site, and how easy or hard it is to sell the brand that is Woolrich to my desired market segment.

Thus, I did a search for all sub straight women within 250 miles of my location and came up with about two pages of profiles active within the last few days.

I then did a search for all doom straight men within 250 miles of my location and came up with 17 pages of profiles active within the last hour.

That's about 1:150 ratio, against, once you convert from days-to-hours on the first search.

Soooooo….

Being in Ohio (pronounced: ah-high-ah), I'm trying to think of ways to get in touch with people, you know, in that whole 'face-to-face' way where people mingle around, talk, and you can tell if there's good chemistry up front. There aren't a ton of organizations or places here where kinky folk hang out, as there are in Manhattan, Chicago (and Toronto?). In fact, all of my kinky relationships started out vanilla and I got lucky that they were interested in something a little more interesting.

I've been to some of the local groups. I really like the people, but haven't met anybody who was really a good match…no spark. And the groups aren't particularly large, either, so even if I go to every event, it's the same core group with a few people who rotate in and out.

Anybody have any ideas or suggestions for where to meet kinky folk, face-to-face, in a situation that's not typically considered "kinky" by most people? I've heard both RenFaires and ballroom dancing are good places to meet folks with kinky streaks, but I'm not so enthused about either to try unless I hear a some stories that say "heck yeah!"

(I was sure I'd find this topic someplace, already answered, but my search didn't turn anything up. If there's a good thread on this already, just direct me there and thanks in advance.)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 6:17:53 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I actually think that meeting kinky people in non kinky venues is a long shot... yes, we all do other things.. like ballroom dance, go to the grocery store.. I ride a motorcycle or two.. and can be found in those venues.. but I ride almost only with kinky folk...

if you need to broaden your circle, and we often do as there are a small number of us... try some out of town events... and other cities in your state, as well.. try larger events in your state.. as that will bring in others from around the area... groups are great.. but events tend to be larger... you're in Ohio... right?

Just off the top of my head I know there is Kinko de Mayo -- fast approaching.. CLAW.. also fast approaching (damn I need to register) and I'm not sure if its still on but Ohio Leatherfest used to happen every summer... I'm sure there is more..

good luck

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Woolrich)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 6:25:48 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Women under the age of 30 on vanilla dating sites.  I've got a first date next week with 24-year-old.  The phone conversation turned to, "What do you like?"  She said, "I'm chocolate."  I said I wasn't sure what that term meant.  She said, "Well, if you call yourself vanilla, you like things normal.  I like all the flavors that aren't vanilla, so I'm chocolate."  I said that was interesting, and I really liked some non-vanilla things too.

There are two possibilities.  Either (a) she has no idea what she's getting into, or (b) she does.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 7:22:57 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
There are two possibilities.  Either (a) she has no idea what she's getting into, or (b) she does.


That's freakin awesome

To the OP, there are plenty of kinky people in every vanilla place you go, and plenty of vanilla people who are kinky. What you have to do is drop in hints when the flirting gets sexual. I do that all the time. I've got this whole routine that starts with me pushing myself right up next to a guy and looking up at him and saying "I could totally take you in a fight," (which is so not true) and smiling seductively and lots of dorky stuff like that. If I'm getting interested signals, I'll make a few "I don't like to be in control" side comments and eventually something more direct. You can tell pretty quick who's amenable to power exchange-like stuff and who isn't (or who is way out of their depth).

Or you can good old fashioned date people and reveal your sexual interests/needs as you get to know one another. I just find it saves a lot of time to be a tiny bit upfront when you're first flirting.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 7:31:42 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Woolrich
Ive heard both RenFaires and ballroom dancing are good places to meet folks with kinky streaks, but I'm not so enthused about either to try unless I hear a some stories that say "heck yeah!"
Don't go for anything like that unless you're genuinely interested.  You're dealing with subcultures here and subcultures tend to be very hostile to people that feel like they don't 'belong'.  (I go to the local goth club.  While it's a great place to meet kinky folk if you're part of the scene, we sometimes get guys who transparently are only there to pick up goth girls.  They don't tend to get a very easy ride from the regulars...)


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to Woolrich)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 7:34:52 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Apocalypso, I have to say that I just saw your new signature and I think it is awesome.  I asked the mods to make me a Horny Net Geek for what might be a very similar reason.

Kudos.


Oh, and, I agree with your post.


< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 3/12/2010 7:35:12 PM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 8:05:53 PM   
couldbemage


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Oddball subcultures tend to be filled with kinky types... But you need to actually like it.

Met mine at a swordfighting event.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 8:25:30 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

I've met lots of subs at clubs but that might be because I'm such a hottie and guys throw themselves at my feet at clubs. Other places are rock concerts, motorcycle clubs, gay clubs, medievel groups, wicca groups, church (no I'm not kidding), and hollywood parties.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to couldbemage)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 9:02:53 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		It's a good idea to network with people from the munch groups you've attended.  You never know when someone will hear about someone who just might be a match for you.  However, if you go to a few meetings and then drop because you didn't meet a potential partner at one, then no one will tell you about that potential match for you.

Now is the time to expand your search area and attend one or two big events.  There can be several hundred people at regional events.  That still does not guarantee you will find a potential partner at one, however, you make friends there and you network.  The larger your network the better your chances. 

(in reply to Woolrich)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 9:08:27 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Woolrich

Thus, I did a search for all sub straight women within 250 miles of my location and came up with about two pages of profiles active within the last few days.

I then did a search for all doom straight men within 250 miles of my location and came up with 17 pages of profiles active within the last hour.

That's about 1:150 ratio, against, once you convert from days-to-hours on the first search.



Nope.  Not everyone who says they are a Dom/sub really are.  Some male Doms are simply jerks who think that calling themselves a Dom lets them in for lots of free sex with no hassles about actually talking or relating to a woman.  Some female subs are fake profiles intended to fleece morons of their money.

Suffice it to say that if you are genuine, send messages to women that are more involved than "Ur cute. I want 2 fuk U), and can hold a conversation, your odds are a lot better than you think.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Woolrich)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 9:12:31 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The larger your network the better your chances.

To that end, don't overlook the message boards here. I've met lots of folks from the boards, and hope to meet many more. Having kinky friends makes going to events more fun, and friends do have friends, as Peppermint pointed out.

As for Renn Faires, I could tell ya all the uberkinky stories you want about them, but again, its best to go with friends who are into it. Unless you are working a faire, or go with folks in the know, it's unlikely that you will find what you seek there. Most of the real fun happens after hours and backstage anyway.... or in tents, behind haybales, on the Queen's throne after midnight....

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 3/12/2010 9:13:16 PM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 10:24:00 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ah.. ya beat me to it, Wyld... . ;) 

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 10:28:55 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ah.. ya beat me to it, Wyld... . ;) 

*tacklesmooch!* Speaking of friends I met right here on the boards...


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/12/2010 11:28:55 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I find that there is heavy overlap with the kinky community among people who do either Renfaire or SCA, and people who are into science fiction fandom stuff. If you also have an interest that way....well, why not?

I had the lovely experience of walking into a munch and seeing one of my old SCA friends there. He looked at me and said, "Please tell me you're dominant?!" and I said, "Are you submissive?!" and there we were. One of the best play experiences I've ever had, because we were already old friends and liked and trusted each other.


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/13/2010 1:36:55 AM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Woolrich

Thus, I did a search for all sub straight women within 250 miles of my location and came up with about two pages of profiles active within the last few days.

I then did a search for all doom straight men within 250 miles of my location and came up with 17 pages of profiles active within the last hour.

That's about 1:150 ratio, against, once you convert from days-to-hours on the first search.


That's a very weird number. My own sampling for the United States is about 2 straight/bi Dominant/switch males for every 5 straight/bi submissive/switch females. I don't have my raw dataset anymore (hard drive crash) but the sample method was 4 hour logon history on 3 different days at different times. That's claimed orientation, while I accept DarkSteven's premise that not all who claim to be dominant on here actually are, I believe that sampling recent logons, thus limiting the influence of people who log on once to oggle babes in hand cuffs on the sample, mitigates the data sufficiently for our purposes.

To respond to the rest of the post, marginal subcultures, BDSM included, tend o have a lot of overlap. That said, as has been pointed out, going to a Renfest or the local goth club when you're only there to find a submissive is both rude and not likely to work.


< Message edited by weaselwelder -- 3/13/2010 1:40:29 AM >

(in reply to Woolrich)
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RE: Non-scene events hiding kinky people? - 3/13/2010 6:05:51 PM   
MissBeautiful2U


Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		Home Depot!!  *grins*

Can't tell you how many comments I heard about the paint sticks being good for paddles when I worked there.  Had to keep a discreet image so normally I held my tongue and just laughed as I passed one over the gal or guy to smack their partner on the bottom with.  I know it can be fun to wander the aisles and come up with fun "toys"... it's a long shot but so is ball room dancing when it comes to meeting a person with bdsm interest.

:)

(in reply to Woolrich)
Profile   Post #: 16
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