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Why some men like bad girls - 3/12/2010 8:10:24 PM

jj292

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You know how some women tend to attract the "bad boys?" The relationships are bad but the girl keeps it going for some unknown reason?

Apparently some guys have the same problem when it comes to "bad girls."

quote:

Pete is the guy women should want to marry. He’s well-educated, handsome, funny and has made the world his playground, with the stamps on his passport to prove it. But the longest relationship on this 37-year-old bachelor’s resume is one year. The native New Yorker somehow manages to find all of the wrong women in all the right places.
“I’ve dated lots of girls who are trouble,” Pete says. “And ‘trouble’ can mean she’s still married or going through a divorce that’s not quite over… I’ve had it all. One girl had a violent, estranged boyfriend who was still paying for the apartment she lived in. That was just bad news. I don’t know how I meet these girls.”

Pete’s dating life is the equivalent of the movie Groundhog Day. He meets a bad girl, dates her, breaks up with her, and then starts the cycle all over again. “Maybe I cause this to happen because I keep dating the same type of person over and over,” he says.

The bad girls in Pete’s life aren’t the street-corner types Donna Summer sang about way back when. The bad girls Pete has come to know so well seem to be normal. They’re attractive, intelligent, etc. but then all of a sudden – after a few months or maybe even a couple of dates – they open up like Pandora’s Box and let their personal problems and intimacy issues ruin the relationship.

The other defining characteristic of bad girls is that they’re inconsistent. Flirty one minute and distant the next. The type of girl who talks all week about how excited she is to have dinner with a guy but then sends him a text message at 7:50 p.m. saying she can’t make an 8 o’clock dinner. Ouch.

Rest of article at:
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/why-good-guys-love-bad-girls-691668/

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/12/2010 9:02:31 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

"Maybe I cause this to happen because I keep dating the same type of person over and over,” he says.

I think maybe a lightbulb just flashed in ol' Steve's cranium.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/12/2010 9:51:54 PM

thornhappy

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Yep, I do think there's a common issue there...Steve.

Reminds me of watching train wrecks on Bridezillas. Why oh why did they take up with such nasty wimmin?

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 5:21:42 AM

juliaoceania

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I had a very good friend who was one of these "bad girls". She always had some guy paying for her nice cars, expensive clothes.. sometimes dating several at once. And they LOVED her. They would call me and cry on my shoulder, and I would think "What the fuck, she hasn't hidden who she is, why would you fall in love with her?" She was kinda cute, but she wasn't a beauty queen or anything.....

And btw... these were good looking guys... willing to give her 1000s.. it was just weird

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 5:27:42 AM

allthatjaz

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Why should it be any different than some girls being attracted to bad guys.
You only have to look at certain people on here who show attitude, crudeness, indifference and who are the first to insult and not far behind them is a fan club!!
The old saying goes 'treat them mean, keep them keen'

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 6:08:47 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

Apparently some guys have the same problem when it comes to "bad girls."

It's a question of low self-esteem. No one with good self-esteem is attracted to a "bad girl" or "bad boy" (according to the definition of the OP). The moment someone understands their worth and understands how to set boundaries, this stops happening. Believe me.

- LA

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 8:09:28 AM

intenze

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darn it, I thought you were talking about sluts! I was all over that one!

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 9:56:51 AM

ShaharThorne

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I am not bad...I was drawn that way... Jessica Rabbit...

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 10:32:17 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Apparently some guys have the same problem when it comes to "bad girls."

It's a question of low self-esteem. No one with good self-esteem is attracted to a "bad girl" or "bad boy" (according to the definition of the OP). The moment someone understands their worth and understands how to set boundaries, this stops happening. Believe me.

- LA

I think there is something a little more Darwinian about it...

I have noticed men love to pursue a woman. If she lets them chase her she can get more out of them. Some women are more manipulative than others and use this chase instinct to take advantage of some poor schlep. They twist a guy around their finger. If you add in the whole Damsel in Distress kink that many men have, it makes them feel big and manly and important to "save the girl"... I do not think this is a reflection of self esteem. I think this is partially a reflection of wanting a woman that is hard to get, that they have to rise to meet some expectation... How many times have I heard some guy say "She made me a better person" or "I had to try to come up to her standards" "She could have had anybody, so I had to pursue her hard". These are not statements of low self esteem... they are the opposite...

In the case of the dude in the OP... he just didn't really want to settle down so he chose women he wouldn't settle down with.. probably not consciously, but nonetheless that is exactly what he got which is most likely what he really wanted.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 7:09:49 PM

DesFIP

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They're familiar. He's dating the same type of women as those in his family. They seem familiar because it's replicating old patterns. Time to get some therapy, address past issues and move on.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/13/2010 7:30:23 PM

came4U

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Maybe their mother was bad, he wanted to fix her. Same could go for a gal who wants to be/fix a bad boy and her daddy issues.

Could be a million possibilities of WHY? but, unless you are the good girl who is trying to fix the bad boy and it is hurting someone that you know, why shouldn't some guy kick a girl's used tires? It could turn out that he actually fixes her or they actually have a good time.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/14/2010 7:17:56 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Apparently some guys have the same problem when it comes to "bad girls."

It's a question of low self-esteem. No one with good self-esteem is attracted to a "bad girl" or "bad boy" (according to the definition of the OP). The moment someone understands their worth and understands how to set boundaries, this stops happening. Believe me.

- LA

I'm going to have to respectfully beg to differ, LadyAngelika. "Bad boys" (and girls, I suppose) are often wild and reckless and fun. One doesn't necessarily have to have low self-worth to enjoy being with someone like that for awhile. It can be an enjoyable distraction sometimes - a foray off into a wild way of life one doesn't usually choose to live. But I've always found it's good in small doses. I once married a "bad boy" and that was a rollercoaster ride I'll never forget! It had high, high peaks and low, low valleys but I wouldn't say I had low self-esteem when I hooked my wagon to him. He was a force of nature that lived ways I had never thought of and, even though it happened the hard way, I learned alot...........luci

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/15/2010 2:41:24 AM

allthatjaz

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Bad boys and girls don't have to be reckless and are often not exciting.
A local club I attend has a barmaid that is rude, sulky, miserable, sarcastic and sour. You hear a number of guys saying 'wow that womans a bitch, whats she doing here? and you have a number of men who brown nose her and will tell you she's actually really nice if you just keep perceiving to get in her good books! She's not even a good looking woman but some of these guys seem to be attracted to her nasty ways and love holding up a badge to say 'at least she likes me'
I just find it odd that some people are attracted to this sort of behavior.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/15/2010 2:23:45 PM

jj292

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To an extent, some guys like to play the chasing game. But some guys don't.

I can tell you for a fact if you play too hard to get, the guy will just give up and assume the girl isnt interested and start pursuing someone else. It depends on the guy.

There are plenty of single women out there looking for a relationship. You dont need to sell your soul for a girl that isnt showing any interest. That has bad news written all over it.

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/15/2010 3:22:40 PM

DarlingSavage

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Clean up on Aisle 3! Yeah, I know, somebody knocked over the pyramid of bad girls again! The floors just covered with slut!
[mod edit- video removed]

< Message edited by Ranger3 -- 3/27/2010 1:13:09 AM >

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/15/2010 5:39:53 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
I'm going to have to respectfully beg to differ, LadyAngelika. "Bad boys" (and girls, I suppose) are often wild and reckless and fun.

You can beg all you want and I'm sure you are cute when you do ;-)

Bad boys and bad girls can be defined in so many ways but I was going by the definition stated by the OP. What you described to me was a more like wild boy rather than a bad boy.

But I'm going to agree with Maria on this one:

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Bad boys and girls don't have to be reckless and are often not exciting.

And I would add that they are high maintenance and only bring drama to your life.

- LA

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RE: Why some men like bad girls - 3/16/2010 5:51:00 AM

jj292

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The question is why someone (of either gender) would willingly stay in a bad relationship?

If a guy is getting arrested every month because he's a "rebel," abuses his girlfriend, or he can't hold down a job...why would a woman find that bad boy attractive? And on the other hand, why would a guy stay in a relationship where the girl treats him like crap?

I can't tell you how many times in my life someone I know says they are getting back together with their abusive/cheating bf/gf.

I wonder if sometimes they WANT the drama. Maybe they get bored without it.

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