Question for subs/slaves

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slaveladyj -> Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:00:30 AM)
What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this.

Aileen68 -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:04:24 AM)
Call him what he asks to be called.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:05:20 AM)
From a Master's point of view...if he's asked for it, he might see it as disrespectful that you DON'T. Just my thought. Fire

missmary52061 -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:11:54 AM)
i too address Dominants i don't know as sir, but if He asks me to address him by his first name, i do so because it is what He wishes... missmary

Jane2376 -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:12:50 AM)
As far as ettiquette is concerned, if he is calling you by your first name I see no reason why you shouldn't call him by his. Obviously when you mix in respect and emotions, things change. My personal belief is that if you are a sub you should do what your dom asks of you, sometimes it might not make sense to you, but it's what he wants.

proudsub -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:17:26 AM)
quote: What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? With my first dom it was always Master because that's what he wanted. Hubby doesn't like that so it's just his first name. Occassionally i call Him Sir when playing but He doesn't require it.

slaveladyj -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:23:04 AM)
Its not that I won't call him what he wants to be called. It's just that in my mind, using first names, or at least me calling him by name, puts us on more of an equal footing. It could just be my own mind, but you call friends by name, co-workers, children acquaintances by first names. To me, it is more respectful to address him as sir, no matter how well you know him or don't know him.

Jane2376 -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:32:18 AM)
I guess it depends how involved you are with this person. If he is actually someone you are currently, or are considerign playing with then I think you hit the nail on the head in your last post, you said "in my mind", I think being a sub isn't necesarily about how things work in your mind, not to say he shouldn't take your opinion into consideration. Along that line if it is something that you cringe at everytime you do and really breaks your head space, then I'd talk to him about it.

Cristalin -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:44:25 AM)
in the begining He was my mentor...He told me i can call Him as i wish...but His name is hard to pronunciate for me...so very soon i started to call Him Master...he was so pleased that it wasn`t something He required, but a natural need of mine, to adress Him with respect....it`s been a while ago but remembering those times still brings a warm smile on my face

KreativeKontrol -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:44:34 AM)
There are as many tastes that a Dom has, as Doms - the same goes for subs thus I can only speak for myself. I personally do not need a "Sir" or a "Master" from my sub. she may call me by my first name. As I am secure in my position as Dom I don't need titles. - but that's me - the next could just as well say He/She wants all of it. The best thing I could recomend - if you really respect a Dom - is address Him/Her as They wish.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 11:46:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveladyj Its not that I won't call him what he wants to be called. It's just that in my mind, using first names, or at least me calling him by name, puts us on more of an equal footing. It could just be my own mind, but you call friends by name, co-workers, children acquaintances by first names. To me, it is more respectful to address him as sir, no matter how well you know him or don't know him. Let's put it in this perspective- you're calling him what he wants to be called. You're giving authority over that to him and obeying that authority. It's also just plain courteous in general to call someone what they prefer to be called by- as long as what they prefer does NOT assume a relationship that is not there. If you refuse his express preferences, you're disrespecting him and saying that how you feel is more important than his own feelings about his own name. To me dominance is a personal relationship orientation, not a social status. Don't presume a relationship that doesn't exist just because it doesn't give you that yummy sub fuzzy feeling.

fyreredsub -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 12:11:17 PM)
i'ld have a hard time with that.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 12:49:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveladyj What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? In whatever way that pleases Him. It doesn't matter if this slave is comfortable with it or not~if He says "Bark!", this slave says "WOOF!", loud and proud!

littleone35 -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 1:46:42 PM)
Well i call my Master, Master because it is what is natural for me to do so. if we are in a place where i cannot call him Master i call him by his given name. I would not call him sir he got enough of that in the service. Other Dom's i call by first name unless Master tells me otherwise. Matt's littleone

SirCumsSlut -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 2:08:18 PM)
For Sir and i, whether we are out in vanilla public or the privacy of our home, i always have and always will call him Sir. Have done so since Sir collared me 9 years ago.... In the beginning (before collar) i addressed him by his given name as he did with me.......It was a way to put us on equal ground, but a more relaxed way for He and i to get to know one another.... quote: ORIGINAL: slaveladyj What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 3:27:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: slaveladyj What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? In whatever way that pleases Him. It doesn't matter if this slave is comfortable with it or not~if He says "Bark!", this slave says "WOOF!", loud and proud! Ha! i relate to that!! To the OP - i agree with what others have said - if he wants to be called by name, then call him by name. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him so you can talk through it. This will help him understand your mind, and will help you understand his directive. .

fullofgrace -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 3:41:56 PM)
He and i have names we address each other by, but He (as someone else mentioned) got enough of the 'sir' stuff in the military and has never really shown a proclivity towards "master." i would call Him whatever He wanted to be called, however.

Wolfspet -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 4:34:15 PM)
Wolf is just that..Wolf. Sometimes in a S&M play session it is Master, others it is "LordHigh Fuzzybutt" (Yes, I do call him that, lol) It is between the two of you.

littlesarbonn -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 5:04:17 PM)
I usually start off the relationship with "Yo baby, Yo baby!" After I regain consciousness, I usually ask her what she'd RATHER prefer.

ivorylace -> RE: Question for subs/slaves (3/31/2006 6:27:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveladyj What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this. Address Him/Her in the form they ask you to do so, not doing so is what will be disrespectful. ~ lace

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