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Brand New - 3/14/2010 11:54:24 AM

RiotGrrl84

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/14/2010
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I am new to realm of BDSM/kink. My experience so far has been wonderful, and I'd love to learn more about it. I am casually seeing a sub male and want to delve deeper into a relationship with him. Where are some places to go for resources, ideas, and knowledge on the Dom/sub relationship. I am willing to try new things, from average to bizarre. He has a rubber fetish, which I'm actively learning more about and starting to find myself enjoy quite a bit. I don't always want to ask him for ideas/information... I want to start to 'read up' myself and become the badass Domme that I know is just waiting inside of me! I really want this for myself now... so I welcome input.

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 12:16:18 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Welcome! Here are a few things to get you started:

BDSM Book List by ResidentSadist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm
Ask A Mistress Forum FAQ: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057130/tm.htm

Some of the Websites that I've found useful are:
Akasha's Website: http://akashaweb.com/
Midori's Website: http://www.fhp-inc.com/

Don't worry so much about being a badass Domme and just follow your instincts and desires. Also, focus on understanding on how your sub's mind works. ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to RiotGrrl84)

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 12:39:24 PM

RiotGrrl84

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/14/2010
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Thank you so much! I tend to go with my instinct and/or desires...but being new to this, I'm unsure if I'm doing something "wrong". Even so, he seems to enjoy our time together, as do I. I'd like to really learn more about the whole world and I appreciate your help.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 12:42:16 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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It's my pleasure. You'll get more people chiming in with other resources so please keep checking in.

quote:

he seems to enjoy our time together, as do I

That's pretty much the most important. ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 3:25:05 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Hello, and welcome!

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, and it's great that you're doing the research you feel you need to do

You mention in your post that you don't want to do anything 'wrong'....just remember that all this bdsm stuff really boils down to two (or more if you're poly) people having a mutually fulfilling relationship. Forget the 'one twue way' people - just work out what's right for you and keep on doing it!

Good luck, and enjoy!

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 5:12:53 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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As others have said, the only "Right" way is the way that is right for you.

Read the material that Lady Angelika suggested. Also there are lots of books on D/s and female domination. Elise Sutton wrote a few books that are well known (but not everyone agrees with her ideas). Also, there are a number of erotic fiction websites. Visit those, and read the femdom stories.

The key here is to stir your imagination. Expose yourself to as many ideas as you possibly can, and then decide which ones excite you the most. Once you've done that, make them happen. i'm sure that Your sub will enjoy it just as much as you do. Moreover, if it is what you decide that you want to do, that automatically makes it the "right" answer.

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"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 5:41:02 PM

takemeforyourown

Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
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Welcome, and as a Riotgrrl myself, let me just say that I love your screen name.

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 5:51:05 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

Read the material that Lady Angelika suggested. Also there are lots of books on D/s and female domination. Elise Sutton wrote a few books that are well known (but not everyone agrees with her ideas). Also, there are a number of erotic fiction websites. Visit those, and read the femdom stories.

While Elise has great ideas, where her and I disagree is on the notion of Female Supremacy. It is the main reason I don't recommend her writings.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

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RE: Brand New - 3/14/2010 9:51:21 PM

RiotGrrl84

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/14/2010
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Thanks for all the advice..! I will definitely look into the various resources you all provided, and of course go with my desires.. :)

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

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