mystickoolaid
Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dominasola
You are clearly conscious of the fact that you are not being good. If this is the case, why on earth would you act against his wishes...even IF he isn't there to reward you for being good, or punish you for being bad?
Can't you take some responsibility for your actions, and endeavour to act the way your Dom wants you to for the fulfillment it gives you KNOWING that you are acting according to his expectations? If you can't feel any pride with yourself for acting the way he wants you to and not doing what he wants you to refrain from doing, it doesn't seem like this is a very good relationship for either of you.
quote:
Exactly. In real life, our Doms can't be around every second to police us - and shouldn't need to be, if we really want to submit to them 24/7 and are responsible adults who take responsibility for our actions and honor our commitments. For this sort of relationship to work, our dominants have to be able to trust us to be responsible and obey them (or at least be honest and own it if we slip up) just as much as we have to trust them to be responsible.
As a mother of 5, the acting out/disobeying (what have you) doesn't come across to me as her being a "bad" or "unsubmissive" sub, or even necessarily wanting to disobey him, but akin to the line of thought most children have about getting attention one way or another; that getting negative attention in the form of punishment/anger/whatever is better than none at all. I might be way off, but it seems more to me like a cry for help/attention than anything else.
I saw a snippet of advice/food for thought somewhere.... someone posted another thread entirely about punishing misbehavior and I think it was on that thread, but regardless it was good advice and that was to focus not on punishing the sub for acting out but talking to them and finding the root cause for their "bad" behavior... They pointed out that if/when a sub acts out (other than just being a brat) there is almost always an underlying cause and the acting out is an expression of their unhappiness with something in the relationship or in the world around them in general.
< Message edited by mystickoolaid -- 3/19/2010 2:56:02 PM >
|
RE: How much time should a Master/Dom put into his sub? - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread