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How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 4:08:57 AM

beachbum3

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

Hello! Both my Mistress(/wife) and I are new to this and exploring. She has remarked that our sex life has gotten pretty stale and ordered me to find new and better ways to pleasure her. My desire to please her is what led us to explore this lifestyle, so I'm eager to comply.

Please help me, Mistresses! How can I exceed her expectations on this assignment?

Post #: 1

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 4:24:54 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Talk to her and actually listen to what she has to say when you ask, "Darling, are there any areas of sex that you would like to explore that you worry I may not like/find odd?" Consider doing those things if they won't get you killed/maimed - even if they are not "your" thing.

Read this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3110162/tm.htm

Understand that when a woman is happy, pleased with her mate, and feels accepted for all her wild and crazy thoughts, that she begins to become more creative and more willing to explore your crazy thoughts. Open up and have some serious heart to hearts - no holds barred type stuff. Figure it out from there.

As a side note, since you are new to the forums here, please take a look at the Forum FAQ linked in my signature. You may find other resources there that will assist you in coming up with some ideas. Be sure to take full advantage of the Search feature provided on this site.

Welcome, and good luck.

EFT

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 3/19/2010 4:25:55 AM >

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Post #: 2

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 5:11:34 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Talk to her, not us. How are we to know what will please her?

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Post #: 3

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 5:16:18 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

You're new, and she's already run out of ideas?

Did you pressure her into trying this lifestyle? Because if she's vanilla, then I can see why she hasn't got ideas of her own, and isn't interested in getting any herself.

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Post #: 4

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 5:54:39 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachbum3

Hello! Both my Mistress(/wife) and I are new to this and exploring. She has remarked that our sex life has gotten pretty stale and ordered me to find new and better ways to pleasure her. My desire to please her is what led us to explore this lifestyle, so I'm eager to comply.

Please help me, Mistresses! How can I exceed her expectations on this assignment?

OP,

In your introductory post HERE you mention you've made your wife/mistress aware that you'd like for her to offer your services to another man or woman. That has me wondering who was the one to initiate exploration into WIITWD?

It would be helpful, if the two of you haven't already done so, to sit down and discuss activities each of you have an interest in. Ask her which she'd like you to focus on...service or sexual service (refering to the thread link posted by Domin8tingUrDrmz). You mention the "stale" sex life and your desire to please sexually...maybe there's a disconnect between each of your desires (her's and yours). I would also like to suggest you have a look at THIS thread titled "Advice for New Dommes"...have your wife read it and the two of you discuss the feelings, desires, concerns, interests and whatnot each of you have.

The thing to remember is commuication...talk about everything with each other. It would be easy to come here, read a couple of old threads, post a question and get some advice but in the end we aren't in your relationship. This is between you and your wife/mistress and the only way to understand what pleases her is to communicate.

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Post #: 5

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 7:08:48 AM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachbum3

Hello! Both my Mistress(/wife) and I are new to this and exploring. She has remarked that our sex life has gotten pretty stale and ordered me to find new and better ways to pleasure her. My desire to please her is what led us to explore this lifestyle, so I'm eager to comply.

Please help me, Mistresses! How can I exceed her expectations on this assignment?

I have a great idea, communicate with each other to gain for new ideas... then READ... read the forums, read BDSM books, read, read, read what ever it is that interests, you and your Mistress, and then practice what you have read! Good lick! opps! meant luck!

< Message edited by Kaiel -- 3/19/2010 7:10:20 AM >

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Post #: 6

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 7:40:49 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Hummm... sex life is stale. You are sent to figure out how to change that and you ask us, apparently the experts on stale sex lives and how to spice it all up. You clearly have an idea what will spice it up for yourself. Now, your wife/mistress is depending on you to spice it up or find ways to spice it up. Why does thing have a funny sounding ring to me?

Believe me, if my anything was stale, I wouldn't wait around for anyone else to figure out what to do about that! I would be finding ways to make myself happier. I might send my spouse on a fact finding mission or to get information, but you can bet your sweet ass, I would be a part of that process!

What have you each done to improve matter's?

You may think I am coming down hard on you, but let me explain. Besides the many men who come here with and without a spouse, seeking to benefit from the charms of a dominant woman and her arsenal, they often just want to get us talking to spice up their solo wank time. Then of course there is this internet that I am sure they have been exploring and porn and believe me, I don't think we are the first pit stop to enhance anything. So I find it difficult to believe that they couldn't find any other source, which plays into the fact that they want to get us talking so that they can have a bit more to their alone time.

When we say something about that, we always hear... but I came with a question... I needed something and wasn't being disrespectful and you all are mean. The real fact is, those asking are often lazy if they truly are seeking an answer to a question and for some odd reason, it is most often the male coming to ask us women to talk when the women could be just as excited to find out what will spice up their life, but for another odd reason maybe, they don't!

You are not getting this response from me only because you are a male. It is because there is a wealth of information out there and the only real thing in your intro you came up with was a reward for good behavior and that was you pleasing another person other than your spouse. Which tells me you are more interested in the reward for yourself than the actual pleasing just to be pleasing and that great reward.

So with all this feeding into things, I conclude that things are suspect to me and I think you just want us to talk and give you something in that area of spice on a more personal and attention getting area than you can find in millions of web sites all over the net.

You and your wife/mistress need to really sit down at that computer together and explore. We aren't encyclopedia's of sexual, kinky and dominant things.

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Post #: 7

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/19/2010 7:45:27 AM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline

i think you should talk with her about this, not us

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Post #: 8

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/20/2010 8:53:26 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

The best ways to please someone is to ask what they want. I would love to get an email from a slave who asks me "What do YOU want?", "What can I do for YOU?". But some slaves make the mistake of listing out what he hopes he can do for a Mistress and it's really just a list of his fetishes, and then he wonders why he can't find a Mistress who'll own him. Think of it this way; Slavery means being unselfish. It is about pleasing the other person instead of yourself. Ask the Mistress what SHE wants. It's that simple. But sometimes this fact doesn't sink in without training. That's why I love training slaves.

Hope this helps.

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(in reply to beachbum3)

Post #: 9

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/20/2010 10:27:09 PM

BeMyProperty

Posts: 21
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Browse an online sex store that has reviews from women, and get a few of the best toys.

Spend hours pampering her with great food and wine, bubble bath, massage, kissing, etc.

Soft porn if she would be interested in it.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

Post #: 10

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/20/2010 10:34:29 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeMyProperty

Browse an online sex store that has reviews from women, and get a few of the best toys.

Spend hours pampering her with great food and wine, bubble bath, massage, kissing, etc.

Soft porn if she would be interested in it.

If you were to surprise her with the toys or porn, you may be in for a world of trouble. Most men that I've met simply do not know what I want in toys or porn. If some male gave me those w/o finding out what I liked first...I would most likely be furious. I say most likely, because if by some crazy chance he guessed right, I'd enjoy them. Even then, he and I would be having a serious conversation.

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Post #: 11

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/21/2010 5:48:27 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

It all depends on what sort of things she likes. Does she enjoy picnics, dancing, fancy restaurants, home cooking? What sort of erotic activities? Maybe she wants you to read her some sexy stories. Maybe she wants to go shopping. You have to get inside of her head. Perhaps a checklist of things she can rate from one to ten would help.

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Post #: 12

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/22/2010 2:02:27 PM

heavenatlast

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/22/2010
Status: offline

"She has remarked that our sex life has gotten pretty stale and ordered me to find new and better ways to pleasure her." ...

Her saying this to you is somewhat akin to ordering someone to complete a jigsaw puzzle, without the benefit of the picture on the box, and half the pieces missing. Unless there is a clear image of what she wants, what she likes and how she likes it - you're never going to complete that mission.

I would advise you to do the most sensual thing of all - Talk to her and find out exactly what bakes her potato.

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Post #: 13

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/22/2010 5:58:39 PM

rockin1632

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/14/2009
Status: offline

I am also new to the scene however My mistress has been able to show me her love and make me comfortable. she has taken me to places I never thought I could go yet I find it erotic and plaeasureable when she has. I love my mistress and I have told her when things are beyond my understanding but she has taken me a long way...I am very much intoxicated with it

(in reply to beachbum3)

Post #: 14

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/23/2010 8:56:24 PM

SacredBeauty

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

One of the beautiful things about this lifestyle is the high level of trust needed to participate. I would talk to your wife/Mistress about these matters. Other Dommes can give you ideas based on what pleases them, but who knows if those same things will please your Mistress. Ultimately her pleasure is what matters. She gave you a task which was to "find new and better ways" to serve her. My suggestion is that since you two are both new to the scene, you learn about it together before you are tasked with assignments that you have no idea how to complete. Learning about the lifestyle together can be both exciting and pleasurable, and lead to service that will exceed her expectations AND yours.

(in reply to rockin1632)

Post #: 15

RE: How can I please my Mistress? - 3/24/2010 1:24:54 PM

Baldbalzs

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline

If you have to ask all is lost

(in reply to SacredBeauty)

Post #: 16

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