RE: Free Advice (Full Version)

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roughleather -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 10:24:02 PM)

quote:

What i'm talking about are the loser guys who couldn't get a girlfriend in high school, and so they become a "Dom" and think that they've punched their ticket to the "free pussy buffet". There is nothing dominant about them other than their self-proclaimed title.


Yes. People who refer to themselves as "Master ..." are usually like that. 

(Slaves may refer to their master as "Master". It's referring to oneself as "Master" that indicates a loser.)




countrychick -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 10:37:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: darquemind

Do not lose track of a woman's innermost need.  She does not want to be forced, she wants to be taken, and their is a world of difference.


Very interesting way of putting it.. I like!




countrychick -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 10:43:43 PM)

quote:


2. Insist on a reciprocal relationship. One in which you get as much as you give. Mutual fulfillment,   mutual pleasure, and mutual self-actualization, or self-realization, are the goals.

3. Love is not magic, love will not overcome, and love will not find a way, etc. Sometimes love means letting go.

4. You are the author of your own life. You are the controller of your own thoughts, feelings, and deeds. If you don't like how something in your life is going, or if your thoughts, feelings or actions are troubling you: change it up. Don't wait. Change it now. Make plans, set goals, and work toward them. Take action to control your thoughts and feelings, and deeds, instead of letting them control you.

5. Being submissive doesn't mean your brain fell out your ear. Use it. If you're acting like you have low self-esteem, then you probably do. See #4.

6. You never really know someone until you've spent a sigificant amount of time, over time, actually in their presence. Not just a few days, or weeks. And not just on one or two separate occassions. A significant amount of time, over a significant period of time.

7. For a long-term relationship, seek someone with whom you are compatible in and out of the bedroom.

8. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

9. Don't take yourself too seriously, and don't expect perfection from yourself or your partner. Forgive them their honest mistakes, and be forgiving of (and expect forgiveness for) yours. Don't worry about the things you can't change. Focus on what you can do, and don't spend too much time worrying over that, either. Relax! You only live once. Keep your sense of humor. Explore, and have FUN!


All of the above applies to vanilla as well. That's all for now, thanks OP!





Hey there a quick question, would I be able to post this in my journal/profile? Of course with proper reference to who wrote it? A couple of the things over time I've basically decided to live by but I'm never good at writing things down, numbers 2 and 4 specifically. If not thats cool! Thanks




dreamerdreaming -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 10:50:29 PM)

Sure, that's fine as long as I get the byline. [:)]




countrychick -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 10:54:53 PM)

thanks very much, I definitely mentioned you multiple times, have a look and if its unsuitable please let me know how I can change it.




Kana -> RE: Free Advice (3/20/2010 11:34:19 PM)

1-Think with the big head, not the little one.
2-Be yourself.




mystickoolaid -> RE: Free Advice (3/22/2010 4:09:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

quote:

What i'm talking about are the loser guys who couldn't get a girlfriend in high school, and so they become a "Dom" and think that they've punched their ticket to the "free pussy buffet". There is nothing dominant about them other than their self-proclaimed title.


Yes. People who refer to themselves as "Master ..." are usually like that. 

(Slaves may refer to their master as "Master". It's referring to oneself as "Master" that indicates a loser.)



This isnt necessarily true. There are members here and otherwise and Dom/mes out there who are excellent people and excellent at what they do who refer to themselves as "Master". Hell, some of the best books on the subject I've ever read were by people who referred to themselves as Master (whatever). Being dominant is pretty much all about having control and getting what you want in whatever sense of the word... If that includes being called Master, then I don't really see a problem with it.

Unless you mean talking about themselves in the third person... which is creepy no matter what terminology you use. :P




ranja -> RE: Free Advice (3/22/2010 4:16:26 AM)

i have said it before: don't drive with a butt plug up your ass




sblady -> RE: Free Advice (3/22/2010 9:58:37 AM)

Communication is very important.

Don't believe everything you read.

Take your time. D/s, M/s and kink is here to stay.

Don't feel obligated to try everything on the fetish list.

You don't have to attend play parties, munches, events, to be "real and true".

If humiliation isn't your kink and you're receiving humiliating messages, ignore them.

Admitting that you're submissive or a slave doesn't mean you're not a strong person.

Don't be afraid to ask questions and expect answers, especially when embarking on a new relationship.

If you don't want your hard limits pushed and the profile of the Dom contacting you has "will push your hard limits", keep moving.

If your values, kinks, etc., are totally different from the person contacting you for a relationship, unless you're willing to change, you might not be a good match.

If you list slave on your profile, don't be surprised if someone expect you to prove it. However, don't feel obligated to do so unless you've consented to being that person's slave.

Don't pattern your relationship based upon what you read or see. Every relationship is unique to the people involved in that particular relationship.

If someone would like to whore you out or have you service their friends, provide maid service for whomever they chose, or do all manner of things and that's not your kink, keep moving.




littlegirlangel -> RE: Free Advice (3/22/2010 2:45:46 PM)

Quick Response:
It's okay to call your safeword no matter how long you and your partner have been together.




SailingBum -> RE: Free Advice (3/22/2010 10:01:11 PM)

Eh Free advice....  Remember you get what you pay for....

BadOne




pdv99 -> RE: Free Advice (3/23/2010 8:19:12 AM)

1) We are all just human - even the ultra arrogant dominants, tho they may try to pretend they aren't.
2) Reality is never quite the same as fantasy - but can be much more fulfilling as long as you don't expect an exact match.
3) Free advice tends to be worth what you pay for it.




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