How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted....

How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (Full Version)

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CaffeineOverRide -> How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:26:59 AM)
To be dominated, by you. I know he has it in him, and I'm interrested, but am not interrested in anyone else. Curious about how I should go about mentioning it, how he may react, if there is anything I should take into consideration. Thank you Edit: I am the Master, he is my Slave. I would like him to dominate me every once in awhile.

AquaticSub -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:33:50 AM)
It would depend on *exactly* what you mean by dominate him. Valyraen is my owner. He's also the man I love, my husband and my best friend of over four years. If he decides he wants me to top once in while on a blue moon, I'd probably do it and view it as another service to him. If he wanted it more than that, I'd probably have to encourage him to find a play partner or a poly partner who could fill that desire for him. If he wanted me to suddenly switch roles and be the dominant in our relationship... I just don't think I could do that. Now... I'm curious about your wording. You say you "know he has it in him" but you don't know how to mention it. If he, your master, hasn't brought up a desire for you to dominate, why do you think he wants that? If I were you, I probably wouldn't ever bring it up. I'd leave it up to him to tell me what he wants. My two cents.

DesFIP -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:34:26 AM)
Does he want you to dominate him or simply to top him? There's a difference. If he wants endorphin play and he's telling you "use the flogger on my upper back. Over to the right, that's the spot, right there. Okay now go over the whole back" then you're submitting by doing what you're told. That's no difference then him wanting you to rub his back except for wanting a heavier massage then you can do by hand. And are you sure he's interested or are you the one who wants to do this? Talk to him. Ask him if he would like to be the receiver instead of the doer next time. Tell him of your curiosity, assuming you want to do this. Don't be manipulative, be honest.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:35:23 AM)
Sorry but I'm confused. It sounds to me like you are the one who wants to dominate your Dom, not the other way around. Please clarify. zeph

CalifChick -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:46:55 AM)
You're listed as a switch, so it's a bit confusing. Are you talking about yourself as the master, and your boy as the one who "has it in him"... meaning has it in him to dominate/top/whatever you? And you want to know how to tell him that you want him to dom/top/whatever you? Cali

DWCskitten -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 10:50:29 AM)
~Fast Reply~ If your Master is not a switch, why would He want that? me, i would feel weird. ~kitten~

CaffeineOverRide -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 11:41:04 AM)
OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies. I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it. Thank you CalifChick

AquaticSub -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 12:33:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies. I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it. Thank you CalifChick I'd bring it up just during a conversation about scening. I don't know about others but Val and I "talk shop" as a ordinary thing. We'll discuss if we want to buy a new toy, admire a whip in a shop or such. Something simple like "You know... lately I've been wanting to experience the receiving side of one of those" would probably break the ice and give you an idea of what their reaction will be. Just be honest about what you want. I would put the option of playing with others out there if he is uncomfortable with doing it. Even those who are comfortable with both sides of the leash are not always comfortable topping the one who controls them.

BKSir -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 12:40:35 PM)
Oh, well, in that case, go for it. You're the master, and if that would bring you pleasure, it's his duty to provide, no? I had my pet act in a more "topping" manner a few times, and it didn't seem to make him feel any more "dommy" for it. shrug Just my 2 centavos.

nancygirl34652 -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 12:47:41 PM)
to me it does not make any difference at all....it is serving Him...in whatever way He chooses.

DWCskitten -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 1:08:42 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Ooookay. YOU are the Master. i misunderstood. Well, You could ask him to Top You to please an itch You have that needs scratching, and He could wrap his submissive mind around it by saying he is doing it to please You, his Master. That's what i did for a former play partner who is a switch, and it worked. i did it to please Him (making it okay in my submissive mind) AND he was very happy too. ~kitten~

UniqueRaven -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 2:47:01 PM)
i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine). His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them? If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received. [;)]

littlewonder -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 3:31:33 PM)
I can pretty much guarantee it would be the end of our relationship. When I first met him I straight out asked him if he ever had such an interest. If he had said yes I would never have even involved myself with him. I have zero interest in dominating anyone...at all, let alone my partner and my Owner.

DesFIP -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 4:26:20 PM)
I personally can't top The Man. He wants his feet rubbed, fine. But bastinado, no way. I would feel confused having to tie him up. I would be upset and it would cause problems in our relationship. Honestly, if he really wanted someone to top him I would much prefer he went to a pro domme. No emotional intimacy and no sex. Just getting an itch scratched unemotionally. But that's me. And during the first couple of years together I couldn't have tolerated that. It would have been a deal breaker. You need to ask him over coffee, not in bed, if he could envision himself topping you. But you need to be aware that lot's of us can't do this at all. And for some of us, it could end the relationship.

osf -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 4:35:26 PM)
I couldn't even think that way if i tried. Well except maybe for Miss Cillie.

CaffeineOverRide -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 5:33:18 PM)
Not going to do this with someone else, but thank you for the advice

Shyla -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 6:18:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine). His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them? If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received. [;)] This. However, since you are so adament about doing this only with your current partner who is submissive to you, I'll continue on. If my Master/Sire/Daddy casually mentioned one day that he might like me to top him, I would suddenly feel distrustful and insecure. Although it really depends on the dynamics of your own relationship. However, if you are hesitant to bring up your desires with your slave then I would offer that exploring this hesitancy is the FIRST item on the agenda, instead of coming to a group of strangers on how to proceed anyway. Why are you hesitant to express your desire to the person who submits to you? What is the fear that causes you to pause and come here instead of sitting down and talking with him? Are you concerned that even bringing up the topic will change dynamics that are working in your relationship now or in some way be detrimental to your continued interaction with your slave? My polite and concerned suggestion to you would be to do a lot of inward searching on why you are hesitant. Then when you have an answer to that question, you will know how to proceed further.

takemeforyourown -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/20/2010 7:46:49 PM)
When I was with my Dom, I can't imagine having ever topped for him. I guess it depends on the people. He would never have wanted that. If he had demanded it, however, I would have done my best to obey him. It would have been just an act for me though.

Aileen1968 -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/21/2010 3:56:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide To be dominated, by you. I know he has it in him, and I'm interrested, but am not interrested in anyone else. Curious about how I should go about mentioning it, how he may react, if there is anything I should take into consideration. Thank you Edit: I am the Master, he is my Slave. I would like him to dominate me every once in awhile. It would be a deal breaker for me. I would walk away from the relationship.

CaffeineOverRide -> RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... (3/21/2010 10:17:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shyla quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend about this very thing (not in relation to me, for a friend of mine). His advice? Find another Dominant to do it. Why mess up the good dynamics you have going with your slave? Topping brings up all sorts of emotions, do you want to deal with them? If you have another Dom friend who's willing to help you "recharge your batteries" i see that as a much better alternative. Up to you - just this is the good advice i have received. [;)] This. However, since you are so adament about doing this only with your current partner who is submissive to you, I'll continue on. If my Master/Sire/Daddy casually mentioned one day that he might like me to top him, I would suddenly feel distrustful and insecure. Although it really depends on the dynamics of your own relationship. However, if you are hesitant to bring up your desires with your slave then I would offer that exploring this hesitancy is the FIRST item on the agenda, instead of coming to a group of strangers on how to proceed anyway. Why are you hesitant to express your desire to the person who submits to you? What is the fear that causes you to pause and come here instead of sitting down and talking with him? Are you concerned that even bringing up the topic will change dynamics that are working in your relationship now or in some way be detrimental to your continued interaction with your slave? My polite and concerned suggestion to you would be to do a lot of inward searching on why you are hesitant. Then when you have an answer to that question, you will know how to proceed further. He is my husband now, so thats why no one else. I asked strangers because I would like insight. I do not understand how he gets off on what I do to him really... I just know it means a lot of trust and he loves it. He knew when I met him I was not interrested in being bottom, so we have never talked about it. I'm doing some soul searching, I just thought it would help to think about those on his end, since I have no experience I thought I could ask those who do. I do not feel he will leave me just because I asked him to take control sometime.... But I know how emotional this stuff gets and just wanted to understand the strength of those emotions. Some people do not seem to care, while others say they will leave the relationship. We have a strong relationship outside of the lifestyle, guess I am just nervous about how to go about it (like accidently insulting him or something)

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