RE: Identifying as a Dominant

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RE: Identifying as a Dominant - 4/5/2006 12:42:08 PM

Arpig

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the "capping" ceremony is a farce, all it means is that a specific group recognise that person as a master.
As far as i am concerned, one either is or isn't dominant, and one is a Dom if one has the desires to dominate in a relationship and chooses to persue that, and one is only a "Master" when a submissive/slave says so, and not until then.

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RE: Identifying as a Dominant - 4/5/2006 1:49:01 PM

truesub4u

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Enthralled, thank you for this post. I've often wondered this same thing. And I brought this up to a freind of mine who just recently began exploring the lifestyle. He's always known about it, but felt it was not for him, until meeting me. He asked thousands of questions, some I couldn't answer, some I could. I told him how to hunt down the information he was seeking. What surprise me even more, he stumbled around.. and found he was feeling the pull to the Gorean Life style. I've noticed more and more he begins to show a more dominant way about him, he's still along way off from being able to actually dominate me. (Doesn't help he went Gorean and I know very little of the Gorean life style if anything at all other than what I read here on CM). But he tells me all he's learning, and I find it not only facinating, but happy that he's found somewhere he finally belongs now. I see him happier with himself now. Happier with his job... and his life in general. It's taught him self discipline, better management of his finances, personal time, job time, and being able to come out of that non social life he buried himself into over the past 10 years. He's actually fun to talk to again, and be around.

What I find even more .. i don't know that word i'm looking for... thankful?... that he knows he's not a full blown Dom, or a Master, that he knows he's got more learing to do. He didn't just jump in and say.. "This is me, i'm a Master, hear me roar!!" The site he hangs on and is learning the Gorean way has taught him so much, and he's learned more about me as a submissive, even though i'm not Gorean. It's brought our friendship to a higher level of understanding, respect, and admiriation for each other as individuals. (not to mention a few extra perks in the learning division....

)

Interesting thread indeed enthralled... thanks again.

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Post #: 22

RE: Identifying as a Dominant - 4/5/2006 4:04:03 PM

WikedUncle

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quote:

To me what makes someone a master is that they own someone.... I do think there is something horribly awkward and dorky about calling oneself a slave or master (i.e. if your name is Betty, calling oneself Slave Betty), and I can’t for the life of me understand why its becoming so popular.

I'd suggest this behaviour has become popular because there are so many people who are in truth no closer to what we do than their mouse pad. They do and say things because someone in their fantasy world told them they should, and are actually very good at convincing themselves and others that they are in the <cough> "lifestyle."

For reference's sake, my associations are "old" enough that my friends and mentor rather resist the use of the word "old." (My mentor is, by the way, also my friend.) Now and again, people dripping with pretense and protocol show up at our events. Those who show up carrying all that weight sometimes don't come back (one tries to be polite but taking them as seriously as they do themselves can be hard sometimes.) The rest discover that you do best as you are, without a heavy load of hokum. You are what you do: to be "true" or "natural" is as much baloney as anything else. We create much of ourselves on this planet. We can see if we've done a good job by the reflection in the eyes of those around us.

BTW...someone spoke of "capping" somewhere back in the thread. I would have responded to that if I had been able to regain my composure soon enough. I'm so glad no one has ever suggested such a distinction to me or mine.

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RE: Identifying as a Dominant - 4/5/2006 4:27:06 PM

slavemj

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i am neither horrible, nor dorky. For me identifying as slavemj tells people that i am simply what i am....a slave, with the name of mj. i understand it might not be as warm and fuzzy to have as names such as AngelSubFuzzyKitty4U, but hey....i tend to keep it simple.
~~~~~~~~slavemj

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Post #: 24