RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/25/2010 2:20:54 PM)

Wisdom, he doesn't just talk me down for that hour. He actively takes over the problem and handles it for me. Which makes me someone with issues I can't always handle myself and him a sometime white knight. There are times when tough love is appropriate. But there are times when giving someone a helping hand is appropriate also. As I said, if he wasn't willing to help me when I needed it, I wouldn't be with him. At the same time, if this was a daily problem, then it would be too much.

What can I say? A touch of codependency works great for us. Shrugs.



wisdomtogive -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/25/2010 2:57:48 PM)

Desfip
Thank you for your honest answer. To me it is an archetypical dynamic, one that interests me. I do not see it neurotic or any other mumble jumble psychological slang remarks here. I do know for me, it is dangerous, but i only live in my body and no one else's. I am not pro or con it, just bringing this dynamic to conversation. Some live well in it, and in a D/s or M/s relationship i can see how it can be helpful. I cannot judge anyone for something that works for them. :)



angeldmort -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/25/2010 7:59:12 PM)

www.hackyourself.org/
For anyone that wants to deal with their own stuff.

If it's not your own stuff... the most you can do is walk away if they don't deal with theirs.



wisdomtogive -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/26/2010 4:18:56 AM)

thank you angeldmort. interesting link




Drifa -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/26/2010 6:01:16 AM)

For me, the "knight in shining armor" is the SUB, offering fealty and service to The Lady. Not just in terms of the Victorian ideas of gallantry, but actually trying to "slay monsters" by making my Lady's life easier.



BeMyProperty -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/26/2010 11:37:57 PM)

I like a submissive Knight as well. But it seems like most are Switch or Dom.

I think most who identify as Knights are not looking for some helpless Damsel to rescue. Looking to provide romance, pampering, caring, etc is different.

Someone already touched on this... I agree that a Damsel in Distress does not always have psych issues. In fact, I don't think she *necessarily* needs rescue from anything bad in her life. I consider myself a mix of many things and one element is the Damsel, and my Knight would love this aspect of me (and all the rest). I guess my definition is more like a Princess, but most people view Princess with certain negative connotations or other things that I don't identify with.




wisdomtogive -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/27/2010 4:02:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

For me, the "knight in shining armor" is the SUB, offering fealty and service to The Lady. Not just in terms of the Victorian ideas of gallantry, but actually trying to "slay monsters" by making my Lady's life easier.



Wow, i like that...Thank you for it gives me food for thought..now am off to slay dragons this morning for Sir:) God I love dragons...smiles



wisdomtogive -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/27/2010 4:05:23 AM)

Thank you BemyProperty

I can do princess very well, but then I was born Jewish:)

Now my pondering mind wonders, can a person contain the knight and damsel within them?..Off to ponder and start working



DesFIP -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/27/2010 8:59:58 AM)

Sure. I ride to the rescue of my kids when they need me. I've also ridden to his rescue but always with material things. He tends to lose stuff and I save the day by finding it or having a duplicate key. For us, the difference is that the things I tend to need rescuing from are my own emotions.

And I understand the concept of princess as BmP expresses it. Someone who is beloved by the king or prince and is held in great regard and esteem and protected by them. If he chooses to have me be protected and wear silk and not be the goosegirl, it doesn't mean I'm a spoiled brat. It just means that this is how he wants me, and that he doesn't want me to be his servant. His choice.



CaringandReal -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/29/2010 3:29:30 PM)

My former owner was that knight/rescuer type. The grief/lonliness were very, very hard to deal with because he cared for me so closely and I was very dependent emotionally. There was an enormous empty hole when he was gone. But I'm one of those steel-core people, just born strong, I guess, and I picked myself up jussst fine in the end. I feel very privledged to this day to have known such an expansive, generous soul who helped so many people and I wouldn't trade that expereince for one with a non-knight for anything in this world--even to be relieved of years of pain and grief. (Not that I expect my next master to be a knight--I don't expect him to be anything except whatever he is.)

My priorities have always been very strong in this regard: I am untterly concerned with how I live with my master, and utterly unconcerned with how I live afterwards, if he goes. Even after what happened to me and all the horror of it, I feel the same. That surprises me a little, normally when people are very badly seared by some element of life or a certain sort of experience or person they won't approach that particular fire again--and will warn others to stay away from it, too. Perhaps I am a submissive moth? ;)



Smutmonger -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (3/29/2010 7:03:10 PM)

People who refuse to deal with thier own issues are usually the ones I stay far far away from.



domiguy -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/3/2010 11:19:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

I need one of those (Knight in shining armour).


Find him quick...You are turning twenty seven soon.

Then you turn into soylent green.



ranja -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/4/2010 6:54:01 AM)

~FR~

i think everybody needs rescuing at some point

on the whole i am more in favour of being corrupted though

My Husband is indeed my rescuer; my rock and i have found a safe haven with Him.
Now to make sure we don't get bored we have set about corrupting eachother, it is lovely

And yes, i would be in tatters if i were to lose Him, and eventually i would most likely need rescuing again... and i am not optimistic that i'd be so lucky as to find another man of His calibre that easily... so in the meantime i would do my best to plod on.

i am strongish mostly, but also the kind who needs a knight in shining armour; a King; a man to build on...
i do not like to be lost in corruption without a mate



onmynees2u -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 4:02:54 AM)

Knights in Shining Armour, to me creates a vision of real men, bound by a code of honour, ethical behaviour, courage, loyalty and beyond reproach.  The Damsel in Distress would be worthy of saving as she would be trying to protect her familys name and good reputation.  im getting so tired of all these grumppy negetive answers....cheer up!!!!



JhonDean -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 4:18:28 AM)

quote:

bound by a code of honour, ethical behaviour, courage, loyalty and beyond reproach


I agree with “codes of honor, ethical behavior, courage and loyalty but would add those standards are but the measure of a man and are the make-up of most men.



IronBear -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 6:21:56 AM)

I have only one question for the OP. Why restrict this to the Dom and submissive dynamics when this can and does also apply the the M/s or Master/Mistress ~ slave Dynamic? Am I nitpicking>? Hell yes! I am a rather pedantic chap for those who don't know me. I simply like things to be precise and accurate.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 7:09:34 AM)

Oh come on.... everybody loved Kevin Costner as Robin Hood, listening to Bryan Adams "(Everything I Do) I do it for you" over and over again, while gorging on spoonfuls of Ben & Jerry's.

Face it, Lancelot or Romeo does not have a chance at scoring these days. Why don't we just rip the wings off tinkerbell, suffocate the tooth fairy with a pillow, and cinonide lace the cookies left out for Santa Claus.




IronBear -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 8:52:09 AM)

Ahh but y'see, there is much to be said for courtliness, exemplary manners and that old fashion charm and mannerisms which appears to be lost in today's "in your face" aggression and bad manners. Indeed there are even some who thrive in such mannerisms which it is hoped that a Knight or his Lady would display, not to mention the hard steel (or something hard) sheathed in the Knight's scabbard. 



allthatjaz -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (4/30/2010 1:12:29 PM)

This is the story about two Nights
  Once upon a time a fair maiden and a gallant knight lived in a castle in local suburbia. The castle had a much needed dungeon and I say much needed because both the maiden and the Knight enjoyed the benefits of S & M play.
All was happy at the castle until the Knight and the maiden decided to throw a few BDSM parties. At first the parties went well. People flocked from far and wide and the Knight and his maiden welcomed their new found friends with the upmost hospitality. They played and frolicked, laughed and enjoyed their new found company.
The Night soon became friendly with the White Night, not a particularly handsome man but he played a good hand with the cane and he was happy to show the Night how to swing a flogger without causing wraps. The maiden watched to two Knights together and couldn’t help but be impressed with the White Knights expertise. The White Knight, aware that the fair maiden was watching him, went all out to impress.
The White Knight often phoned the castle during the Knights working hours. The maiden would apologize for her partner not being around but somehow they always managed to talk for an hour or two. The maiden started to confide in the White Knight that she wasn’t entirely happy with her Knights Domly skills. She told him she was always getting wraps from his  flogger and so on. Being clever the White Knight picked up on these little mistakes and with a bit of for thought he started to suggest that her Knight was possible abusive. Now the maiden knew full well that her Knight was not abusive but by now she had really fallen for the White Knight and needed something to cover her guilt for having these feelings. The White Knight instructed the maiden to report anymore play sessions she had with her Knight and so she did and then using his talents he convinced the maiden that she was in fact being abused and deserved better. The White Knight pretended to be angry and frustrated and the maiden drank it all in with gusto.
In the mean time the Knight went obliviously on. He noticed the maiden was a little moody but put it down to hormones and so when he arrived home from work one evening to find the castle had been emptied and a note saying ‘I HAVE GONE YOU ABUSIVE BASTARD’ he knew something was up.
It was impossible to console the Night. He tried calling the maiden but she had blocked his number. He called other party friends but it seemed that nobody wanted to speak to him. Little did he know that his ex friends didn’t want to speak to him because the White Knight had already filled them in on how this maiden had been abused and how he had, had to rescue her.  
The moral of this story is … Not all Nights are good.



IronBear -> RE: knights and damsel dynamic? (5/1/2010 7:49:53 AM)

Ahh well that is of course most true. rather like the old verse:

"In days of old and Knights were bold and frangers (condoms) weren't invented,
They used their socks (sox) to cover their cocks to keep their wives contented."

Mayhaps they also needed to ensure that said socks (sox) had no burs in them first too.



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