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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:31:26 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, where is that little video of the huge woman bouncing up and down on the guy?????

The mods took it away since it was making the forums too slow.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:31:43 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

I do not hear about weight control being used as a means of domination or control over another person. Maybe we should talk about it more often but its not even listed as a kink on any of the places im a member of... I think that if it was brought up for a serious discussion it would erupt into a bash fest...

Well then maybe you need to get out from behind your computer? I know a few Doms (all male as far as I can think-not sure why that is), in person rather than online, who like to control what their subs eat and how they exercise. It's not common-common, but it's not considered weird enough for people to comment.

The internet is not *everything*, y'know...

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:33:59 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
The internet is not *everything*, y'know...

WHAT????????????

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:37:11 PM

Jeffff

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I think that from now on, EVERY post should begin with the posters height and weight.

That should make every thing clearer.

I will speak to Ron about this.

Jeff

6' 165lbs......maybe less... late lunch

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:39:21 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

I have heard of instances of Doms/Dommes fattening the subs up... by makin them eat obscene amounts of food.

That would be a very hard limit for me. And how could a Dom/me deliberately endanger the life of their sub? Doesn't sound like a good Dom/me to me at all.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:39:33 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I disagree - this is a judgemental hateful comment. Basically what you are saying is that it is the heavier subs fault that you "can't" have sex with them.

"I'm no enough of a man for you

Oh so its a blame game now.. I never blamed them I have often explained why I don't think that is the issue here. I think the issue is some people are uncomfortable with their weight..

Im just enough man for anyone.. Just because I can be crushed by twice my weight doesnt make me "not enough of a man" and I find a comment like that highly insulting.

Yes - you did blame the sub(s) - you said they were too heavy and likely to hurt you. If that isn't blaming the sub(s), then what is it?

and just for interest - do you have an issue with a 200 pound man having sex with a 100 pound woman? and if not, what is the difference?

I think you are kidding yourself- I think you don't like fat and aren't "man" enough to say. And just for interest's sake, I have been heavy and I have been light- and I have just as many offers heavy as light, and actually am happier heavy - because happiness has little to do with weight.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:55:02 PM

NathaninTexas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

I do not hear about weight control being used as a means of domination or control over another person. Maybe we should talk about it more often but its not even listed as a kink on any of the places im a member of... I think that if it was brought up for a serious discussion it would erupt into a bash fest...

Well then maybe you need to get out from behind your computer? I know a few Doms (all male as far as I can think-not sure why that is), in person rather than online, who like to control what their subs eat and how they exercise. It's not common-common, but it's not considered weird enough for people to comment.

The internet is not *everything*, y'know...

Im an active member of the local group we meet every wednesday

I also have attended 2 SPLF (south plains leather fest) I did not see any classes on it.. I am always willing to learn when the material is available.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 1:58:06 PM

NathaninTexas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

What I mean to say more clearly is... I do not hear about weight control being used as a means of domination or control over another person. Maybe we should talk about it more often but its not even listed as a kink on any of the places im a member of...

Oops, I don't mean it has to be a means of domination. Just that domination might be flexed for that purpose?

quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

I think that if it was brought up for a serious discussion it would erupt into a bash fest...

I get this sense too, which is why I was trying to be very sensitive, however, I don't know why it would be a bash fest, do you?

Look at almost every other post in this thread after I responded... Its not an answer to WHY it is.. it just answers that IT DOES... Im not a psychologist... youd have to ask one for a good answer... Clinical psychiatry isnt my academic venacular.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 3:29:23 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

Im an active member of the local group we meet every wednesday

I also have attended 2 SPLF (south plains leather fest) I did not see any classes on it.. I am always willing to learn when the material is available.

I doubt you'd see classes in it, because that sort of control is not exactly technical, and it's going to vary wildly from dynamic to dynamic. From what I can tell, here's the tutorial:

Managing your sub's weight 101

a) You know healthy eating? Make your sub do some. Keep tabs on what she eats, or get her to do it for you. Set up a rewards/punishments scheme if you have that kind of dynamic.

b) You know exercise? Make your sub do some. Keep tabs on what exercise she does, or get her to do it for you. Set up a rewards/punishments scheme if you have that kind of dynamic.

Repeat until she's lost enough weight that you're satisfied.

TaDaaaaaaa....

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 3:37:11 PM

RedMagic1

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For weight gain, you can google "feeder fetish." Here's a Wikipedia page to start off, also:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_fetishism

A lot of maledom/femslave relationships have either weight loss or weight maintenance as part of the agreement or contract. I've seen this especially when the "girl" identifies as kajira: her primary goal is to be pleasing, especially sexually pleasing, to the man. So she has to maintain a pleasing form.

To answer subtee's question: I would not be willing kid myself that it was within my power to take on a woman who (supposedly) wanted to lose weight, but needed a domly kick in the ass to do it. I consider such behavior changes to be at the same level of difficulty as quitting addiction, so far beyond the ability of kink alone to solve. If she were already actively losing, and wanted a dom to make sure she continued, or did so faster, whatever, that would be different.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 3:53:18 PM

NathaninTexas

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great answers im gonna bookmark that wiki article and read it

vaguely thanks for the considerate and informed response

red thanks for the info ill read up on it

I knew that some kajirae had to do it but I only know from what I read in the Norman novels... So Id have to do more studying to know what all the gorean way of training them entails... Very interesting stuff GOOD POSTS... if they had a rep button here id give you both rep..

Thanks so much.. I'll get to reading. I will also bring it up at the next meeting on wednesday im sure everyone in the group would have something to say about it.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 3:59:23 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NathaninTexas

I have heard of instances of Doms/Dommes fattening the subs up... by makin them eat obscene amounts of food. I have not ever heard of them slimming them down though.. It is certainly an interesting proposition.

There have been a few threads here, regarding dominants using their authority to "slim down" and shape up their submissives, if this is what y'all are talking about.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 4:01:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

I think what zephy is saying is that you can totally get off insulin, and for all intent and purpose, have a normal blood sugar, as long as you maintain the diet and/or exercise you've taken up. This is pretty much what happens to the pre-diabetics we spoke of earlier; if they veer off from eating well/exercise, the pre-diabetes comes back, so it isn't truly a "cure" in the traditional sense.

She is sitting there repeating back to me what I just said, but for some reason, it's not valid coming from me, but it is from her? That doesn't make sense.

DS, I never said your comments were not valid, in fact, I just quickly skimmed over them, and could not tell you what they were at the moment.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 5:35:45 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

To answer subtee's question: I would not be willing kid myself that it was within my power to take on a woman who (supposedly) wanted to lose weight, but needed a domly kick in the ass to do it. I consider such behavior changes to be at the same level of difficulty as quitting addiction, so far beyond the ability of kink alone to solve. If she were already actively losing, and wanted a dom to make sure she continued, or did so faster, whatever, that would be different.

See. This surprises me. So if it's too difficult, and admitting that it's an issue singular to each couple, would this be beyond the realm of D/s because of the submissive? Or too difficult for the expression of dominance "to solve?"

Also, you said the sub "supposedly" wanted to lose weight. It seems to me many here and on the other threads have said they wanted to. Do Doms not believe them? (Realizing I'm asking for generalizations and that you can't speak for all Doms, sorry about that.)

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 5:47:17 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

To answer subtee's question: I would not be willing kid myself that it was within my power to take on a woman who (supposedly) wanted to lose weight, but needed a domly kick in the ass to do it. I consider such behavior changes to be at the same level of difficulty as quitting addiction, so far beyond the ability of kink alone to solve. If she were already actively losing, and wanted a dom to make sure she continued, or did so faster, whatever, that would be different.

See. This surprises me. So if it's too difficult, and admitting that it's an issue singular to each couple, would this be beyond the realm of D/s because of the submissive? Or too difficult for the expression of dominance "to solve?"

Also, you said the sub "supposedly" wanted to lose weight. It seems to me many here and on the other threads have said they wanted to. Do Doms not believe them? (Realizing I'm asking for generalizations and that you can't speak for all Doms, sorry about that.)

I am gonna put words in his mouth, but I think that he is saying that the reasons for loosing weight need to be internal and not just external.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 6:02:33 PM

subtee

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But D/s is internal?

Unless it's just kinky sex, I mean.

[And I don't mean for everyone; standard disclaimers apply]

< Message edited by subtee -- 3/26/2010 6:03:32 PM >

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 7:34:32 PM

RedMagic1

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Aylee's interpretation of my post is essentially correct. (Thank you!

) In a real sense, I don't believe anything anybody tells me. I watch what they do, and believe that. If what they say matches what they do, then I believe what they say also. If a woman were to tell me she wanted to lose weight, to quit smoking, to stop shooting up, or any other major biochemical lifechange, I would look to see what she was already doing to make that change happen. If she isn't doing anything to help herself, I don't see what I could possibly provide. It's foolish to strain a brand new relationship with a demand that I direct her motion so she sets aside an addictive behavior. Why should I set myself (and her) up to fail?

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/26/2010 8:19:46 PM

kiwisub12

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I would agree with this - if the slimee doesn't have the desire to lose weight, then she/he can eat salads all day long - and sneak soda/candie/sweeties/lollies/cake/bread/spudsetcetcetc. I know - i did this when my ex demanded i lose weight because he was embarrassed to be seen with me. I was so pissed off with him that i sabotaged myself.
Yep - i was cutting off my nose to spite my hubby, but i was damned if i was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me lose weight.

Of course, he was overbearing in a nonconsensual dominating relationship (didn't know about bdsm at that time) and i definitely didn't want to acquiese to that domination. And i wasn't going to do it.

Now, i am with a man who loves curves - and curves i have. If he wanted me to lose weight, because i have given him the authority to ask/demand that, i would do my damnest to do what he asked. I know myself and i would slip but i would continue to try. And at the end of the day, how sincere a person is, is what matters.

edited to add - I agree with Redmagic - I don't think this sort of demand would work with a new relationship. For me , it would have to be a very committed relationship, that I was totally invested in. (and at least for me, that total investment comes with time).

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 3/26/2010 8:21:31 PM >

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/27/2010 1:06:20 PM

Andalusite

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Nathan, you seriously aren't aware of any sexual positions except cowgirl and reverse cowgirl? I can't see how a woman of any size could possibly squish you if you're doing doggy style or missionary position, and those aren't exactly Kama Sutra material.

RedMagic, my submissive and a couple of the other men I've dated have asked for my help with losing weight, and were successful at it. My Master wanted me to lose about 5 pounds around the holidays, and I was able to do so pretty quickly. Actually, I think that incorporating physical activity into play or into the vanilla activities people do is good for everyone who doesn't have specific medical restrictions - even healthy people can generally benefit by being more active.

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RE: Why do we get all uppity about Weight based Threads? - 3/27/2010 2:07:07 PM

RedMagic1

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Anda, for real? You could just say hi to me, instead of creating an artificial difference of opinion to start a conversation. You're a dancer, and have been for years. Five pounds. My comments -- and the entire thread -- had to do with obesity, not dropping the five pounds needed to get back into that size two miniskirt after the Christmas season.

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