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He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:36:43 AM   
Switchquestions


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline 		I am sure this is a question that has been asked before but I can't locate it here.  I have been chatting online with a submissive male I found at this site for close to 5 months now.  I have seen him on cam so I know he is a male.  I trust him enough to give him my name and phone number.  I have given him permission to call me anytime he wants. What puzzles me is he has never called me, I only chat with him in the mornings, never the evenings or nights.  Never on the weekend at all.  I have asked for his phone number telling him I would only call when he says I can.  He does have a teenager living with him. But what would prevent him from calling me or giving me his number?  I trust him but this question woke me up out of a dead sleep.  He says his number is a private thing with him, although he states he is trusting me more and more.  What would keep an educated male from calling and blocking his number?  I told him he could do that, I have asked repeatedly for him to call me over the past couple of month.
Something doesn't seem right?  What are your feelings on this?  I know he reads the boards so I just created this account in case he should read it and suspect something.

< Message edited by Switchquestions -- 3/25/2010 10:51:11 AM >
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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:38:39 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		He's married. Or, he's just playing games. Either way it appears to me that he has no intention of ever doing anything more with you than he is right now.

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(in reply to Switchquestions)
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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:40:21 AM   
ishyB


Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline 		He's married = why he is never online in the evenings.
His wife is the one handling the bills so she will get the phone bill and she might notice a strange number on there = why he never calls.

< Message edited by ishyB -- 3/25/2010 10:41:35 AM >

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:43:44 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Yup, most likely married.

You say he is a sub.  Yet, he sounds like the dominant party in this D/s relationship.  He is dictating the terms of communication, while you anonymously come on the board and seek solace and answers. 

Enjoy your new (married) Dom. 

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/25/2010 10:44:01 AM >

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:44:59 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		What uniqueraven said.

He is obviously either married, or in a committed relationship of some sort. Or, he's just playing a game. Turn on your good sense, and your jerk detector, when you go online. If you don't, then people will be able to waste your time.

Also, block and delete are your friends. Use them.

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:46:45 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		then make your own rose garden.

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 10:59:43 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

He does have a teenager living with him. But what would prevent him from calling me or giving me his number?
the teenagers mother.

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 11:26:02 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Switchquestions

<snip> I trust him enough to give him my name and phone number.  I have given him permission to call me anytime he wants. What puzzles me is he has never called me, I only chat with him in the mornings, never the evenings or nights.  Never on the weekend at all. <snip>

Why would you spend months talking online with someone who isn't willing to share a phone number with you?  What made you trust him?  Do you atleast have his name?  Were the two of you planning to meet or was this to be strictly online?

<snip>  He says his number is a private thing with him, although he states he is trusting me more and more.  What would keep an educated male from calling and blocking his number? <snip>

Like everypone else has said...he's married or otherwise involved.  Think of it as a lesson learned.  Not everyone is honest and rarely will they admit to it.



< Message edited by CarrieO -- 3/25/2010 11:28:25 AM >

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 11:31:36 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Besides reasoning this out, you need to decide what you want and if you are getting what you want out of this. You know in your gut that something is wrong and for the most part, I think everyone can figure out what that is. (No teen living with me ever kept me from having friends or relationships. Funny how they have no problem sharing details about penis and kinky desires and yet cannot share anything that identifies them! lol)

So now that that is cleared up if you don't allow him to talk you out of it... what will you do? Personally I would let him know that I wouldn't be talking to him until or unless he did call me with an unblocked number. I would then proceed to tell him to go straight to hell. Why let him call me? Because I am a bitch like that and if his wife ever does find out that he has been playing, my name would be all over the place in email, messenger, etc. I would have a lil ammo to protect myself with.

I just went through this. After he was not so nice, I investigated and I found his wedding announcement, etc. At the first sign of a gut reaction that something wasn't right, I pulled the plug. Who needs the drama?

That ball is in your court.


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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 12:13:25 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		He is married; lives with the teenagers' mother; is topping from the bottom.

Block, delete and ignore.  Consider it a lesson on life.

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 12:44:37 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Hello Switchquestions
After knowing this guy for 5 months, and his flat out refusal to give you contact information, then it is time to realize he is hiding something from you. In being a submissive, hiding anything for Sir, would be an obstacle. It is not how we work. This male submissive though appears to come from a different head space then me. So the question is not about him per sey, he already is letting you know that you cannot have his contact info now, and after 5 months, it seems doubtful if it will come to you in the future. Is this the type of relationship you want? Does it honor your own need for power? It appears to me,[i am not saying this in a cruel way, that you need to be asking yourself a lot of questions here, and stop making excuses for you both. What is is!

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 1:09:37 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		He's not serious and is likely lieing to you about something.

(in reply to Switchquestions)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 1:25:45 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		Probably hiding something and doesn't want you to find out. You can either force the issue and find out exactly why he still won't give his phone number, walk away and chalk it up to experience or put up with how it is now.

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RE: He never calls - 3/25/2010 1:39:53 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Lying, cheating, hiding, afraid, etc. Take your pick. Move on with your life and meet other people.

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RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 1:28:59 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Could be he is like me.
I just dislike phonecalls..even at work..I prefer to walk to soemone or email him/her then call him.
Hate phones.

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RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 5:58:09 AM   
NathaninTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

He's married. Or, he's just playing games. Either way it appears to me that he has no intention of ever doing anything more with you than he is right now.



x2  Raven is right... if he's truly submissive he should be volunteering any information you as a Domme/Dom would be requiring.

Something seems not right but he is definitely hiding something.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
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RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 7:30:42 AM   
paleness


Posts: 47
Joined: 2/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Could be he is like me.
I just dislike phonecalls..even at work..I prefer to walk to soemone or email him/her then call him.
Hate phones.
I have a similar same issue: I am kinda disturbed by voice communication with some person I never met in real life

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 7:55:52 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe he thinks a sub shouldn't initiate contact - of any kind. Maybe he doesn't have anything to say to you other than the sexual play stuff. Maybe he only likes to play in the mornings.


who knows? ... if this is really bothering you, call him on it (pun intended), demand a reason - to hell with the asking shit - demand to know why you can't have a phone number, and why he never calls you. If you are dominant, show it.

(in reply to paleness)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 8:42:00 AM   
NathaninTexas


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Maybe he thinks a sub shouldn't initiate contact - of any kind. Maybe he doesn't have anything to say to you other than the sexual play stuff. Maybe he only likes to play in the mornings.


who knows? ... if this is really bothering you, call him on it (pun intended), demand a reason - to hell with the asking shit - demand to know why you can't have a phone number, and why he never calls you. If you are dominant, show it.


I agree with kiwi here.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: He never calls - 3/26/2010 11:31:21 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		I am not an evening phone person. Not at all. Hell i am not that big of a phone person to begin with. If you don't get me in the car, then its more than likely i won't call you when i get home -- I am usually online though and will respond to text, just not calling.

However, maybe this guy just isn't that into you and while he speaks to you in the morning, the evenings are time for his teenager or just chillin out and not that interested in communicating with some woman. Perhaps you are just entertainment for him.

More and more people in this world just are not phone people. Not with all the texting and typing they can do online. What boggles my mind is -- why you changed you nick? I mean to start a thread with a new nick just so he doesn't know its you -- is very untrusting to me. You haven't said what he says when you say hey i want you number or why he never calls you in the evening.

Have you remotely asked him or told him what you have said here? Seems to me, its not people here who are speculating you need answers from. The answers are with the guy who won't call you.

angel

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(in reply to NathaninTexas)
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