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wife as my mistress - 4/1/2006 10:05:50 PM   
vishal007009


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		i'm a married man love to become my wifes slave/submissive but she dont like the idea of bdsm lifesyle.i explain her the profits to controll  the husband but she is not intrested. she likes only plain sex.what can i do?.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/1/2006 10:16:14 PM   
elleana


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Well heres what you can do, you need to sit down with her and tell her what your boundries are. being a slave/sub is more than just serving your Mistress through sex. Its a choice and a burning desire to serve your Mistress with all of your body and to please her. Im not saying for you to get down on all fours and worship her or any thing. you need to really consider why you want to be her slave/sub. Do you love her? have a burning desire to serve her? would you die for her? the thing is bsdm isnt always all about sex. think about it.

(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/1/2006 10:20:56 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I would concentrate less on your boundaries (if she doesn't want to dominate, she's unlikely to cross your boundaries) and focus more on what you can do for her.  What does she like?  What makes her smile?  What pleases her? 

Not "what are my fetishes?"

I'm not sure you can make someone dominate because you want it, but a likely way to do it is to be perceptive about what she likes and give it to her.  That might whet her appetite.

Good luck.

(in reply to elleana)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 4:53:36 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Are you talking about control only?  Or do you want pain as well?  You can't make someone like beating you if she is not wired for that.  I agree that if you want her to control you she only needs to be shown that you will do everything she likes.  She'll catch on real quick, she won't even consciously have to be into BDSM.   Does she know you are seeking someone else?  That might be a problem.  If she is okay with someone else being in the picture, you may have to go that route to get what you really want.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 5:02:54 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		willing to relocate??? and you're married??? that's plain cheating
>>says no more<<

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 2:45:28 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Get your facts together and talk to her about it.  If you present it in a clear concise way, and emphasize that you'll start slowly she'll be more receptive.  With that said, if she still won't go for it, don't press the issue.  She has the right to say no and have that decision respected.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 3:57:25 PM   
keptcaged


Posts: 44
Joined: 4/23/2005
Status: offline 		Why oh why is life so unfair?
i've been with the same wonderful Woman for years.
She knew of my sub desires fron the get-go and experimented with me.
Later she admitted (YEARS LATER) that....uh, She dosen't really get it and dosen't want to.
i explained it by saying, "Hey, we all come of age and realize how we're wired. For some it's all romance, for some it's bi or gay, for some it's transvestism.....look at that guy groveling at Sharon Lawrences feet on Desperate Housewives, Honey, that's how i'm wired."
She admitted that She knew i wasn't happy and She wanted me to be.
We went to a sex therapist who made both of us very comfortable.
In short, we have an agreement that i can go to munches and explore the local scene but NO PENETRATION and no activity that i don't tell her about.
We're at the beginning, but we're aimed in the right direction. Good luck.

_____________________________

"Is there anything else i can get you m'am?"

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 4:02:12 PM   
Angeni


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vishal007009

i'm a married man love to become my wifes slave/submissive but she dont like the idea of bdsm lifesyle.i explain her the profits to controll  the husband but she is not intrested. she likes only plain sex.what can i do?.

Greetings
 
You can not force someone to be that which they are not. You should sit down with her and talk openly and honestly about how you feel. It is important to remember though that this is your wife, first and foremost, and her needs and wants are just as important as yours. I wish you the best of luck.

(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 4:28:35 PM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		There are two types of people in this world.


Us, and them.



If they're not one of us, then they're not going to be.


_____________________________

I am KarbonCopy's signature

(in reply to Angeni)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/2/2006 5:25:01 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		That's not particularly true.  For some, yes.  For others, give them a chance.  My husband was vanilla when I met him, and not immediately interested in pursuing the lifestyle.  It took patience, lots of talk, and easing into things to get him interested.  I got lucky, I suppose, but it can work.  I think quite a few of us were "vanilla" at some point in time.  All it took was the right exposure by the right person in the right way. 

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to KarbonCopy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/4/2006 7:45:55 AM   
pedpuppy


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		Regretabbly some people in this world are not open to even trying to experience a D/s relationship.  If your wife is one of those people then the best you can do is look for ways to serve her anyway. 

Come into the room one night and bring with you a bowl of warm soapy water .. kneel there at her feet and start to soak and wash them in water ...tell her she had such a hard day that you want to do something special for her. 

Continue with things like this .. bring her breakfast in bed, do the laundry,  dishes .... think of ways to please her.  In essence you are becoming her submissive by doing these things ... an for me, thats the most important part .... doing things for my Superior and not wanting or expecting anything in return. 

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: wife as my mistress - 4/4/2006 8:00:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_288589/mpage_1/key_vanilla%252Cwife/tm.htm#288589
Help me!  I'm trapped!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221509/mpage_1/key_vanilla%252Cwife/tm.htm#221509
Vanilla So and the Lifestyle

http://www.collarchat.com/m_180804/mpage_1/key_vanilla%252Cwife/tm.htm#180804
how do you convert a vanilla?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_69381/mpage_1/key_vanilla%252Cwife/tm.htm#69381
How to introduce power exchange to a vanilla spouse?

Not to mention the book "When Someone you love is kinky"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: wife as my mistress - 9/28/2006 3:14:20 PM   
deadlyangel


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline 		What a sweet thing to say about the woman you are with.You are going in the right direction and going there with someone that loves you will get you there eventually.There is more to life than just the "lifestyle" and if you have that going on you are a lucky man.

(in reply to keptcaged)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: wife as my mistress - 9/28/2006 3:40:50 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

There are two types of people in this world.

Us, and them.


If they're not one of us, then they're not going to be.



I might be inclined to color in a lttle gray between your stark black and whites.

LAsub

(in reply to KarbonCopy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: wife as my mistress - 9/28/2006 4:00:28 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vishal007009

i'm a married man love to become my wifes slave/submissive but she dont like the idea of bdsm lifesyle.i explain her the profits to controll  the husband but she is not intrested. she likes only plain sex.what can i do?.



(in reply to vishal007009)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: wife as my mistress - 9/28/2006 4:22:14 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		The first question that springs to mind is "what exactly do you want?"  Do you want to live in a 24/7, D/s relationship?  Just kinky play in the bedroom?   That would be a starting point for discussion...ask her what she's interested in without pushing for anything to "happen." 

The most important thing to remember is communication!

Best of luck.


_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to LASub4Real)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: wife as my mistress - 9/29/2006 5:22:34 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto for me too Keptcaged. We have been married for 31 years, and I wouldn't change it for the world. My Hobbies are not the same as her's, but she is understanding, and know I would NEVER have penatration either.

Working on 32 Years, BalletBob



_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to keptcaged)
Profile   Post #: 17
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