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SimplyV -> RE: Not many switches? (4/6/2006 4:32:34 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dustyn
As a dominant, I find the concept of beina switch difficult to grasp, at best. It's somewhat similar, to me, to asking a painter to write a book. Both can very artistic and emotionally fulfilling way to express who and what you are, but paint a picture with paints and brushes is a world's difference from painting with words.
I don't grasp how someone can be dominant and yet be submissive. The only time I am submissive is when it comes to my job, but then again, I was hired to do a job to the expectations of my boss, so I don't know if that really counts or not. But, then again, that is why I am here, to at least attempt to better understand other people.
Ok.. you are submissive to your boss. You do what your boss expects of you and you get to keep your job and get your reward (paycheck) for doing as you're told. While it is not the exact same thing as a BDSM relationship the principles are similar. You and your Boss have an agreement, just as any Dom/sub relationship would be based on a similar agreement. The Dom and sub would come to an agreement of what the expectations would be. When you entered your job, you agreed to certain things and your boss accepted certain limits (aka you wouldn't work 100 hours a week for peanuts, or do any illegal activies such as sleep with him or some such). Similar to any D/s relationship. The Dom (boss) states what is required. The sub states the limits they need in place in order to do that required task.. or states what they would need in return (love? respect? praise? stability? etc.).
While you are submitting to your boss, does that make you any less Dominant to those who submit to you? No it shouldn't. If a conflict arrises, as your boss suddenly wants you to work a Saturday and it conflicts with time with your sub.. you talk about it with both parties and make arrangements accordingly. (Thus like a switch who is submissive to One and Dominant to another)
Now.. lets say your boss is strong in one area.. but you're strong in another area. And the job that needs to be done is in your area of strength. Now your boss if s/he's smart will either put you in charge (switch so you're Dom now) or will defer to ask your opinion on all decisions (he's still Dom, but you're the assistant). - Is switching starting to make sense yet?
Now if you and your boss have a prior agreement to be partners in business (equals in all things, or equal shared power). Now you're partners. No two people have the same skills sets, so you'd come to an agreement on how best to share the work, right? In this situation, if something is the strength of yours, you'll be the boss (Dom) in that area and he'll defer to you. If something is a strength of his, he'll be the boss (Dom) and you'll defer to him. (This to me is similar to a two switch relationship where they switch roles with each other. Each taking turns being Dom or sub as is needed for the happiest relationship outcome.)
Hope that made some kind of sense.
V
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