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Andalusite -> RE: Emotions in D/s and BDSM - the good, the bad, and the ugly (3/27/2010 11:14:16 AM)
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UniqueRaven, I did want to clarify that in the nearly a year that my Master and I have been dating, I have not been rebellious or defiant or willfully disobedient. We both recognise that that is a possible reaction for me to have, though, depending on how hard he pushed me, and lots of other factors.
catize, the plural of crisis is "crises."[:D] I wouldn't strike at him physically or verbally either, but I know a lot of male dominants who enjoy genuine all-out physical fighting and resistance from their submissive or slave, or who grin and say, "That's 'Sir Evil Ratbastard Asshole to you!" if she calls him names. It seems to be less popular with Dommes, for a variety of reasons, but it's not a universal dealbreaker for all M/s and D/s relationships. In general, I very much feel that my will, and my body, are an extension of his, and it would be very upsetting if I were put in a position where I felt that I was forced to disobey him. We try to communicate and prevent that from happening. I do retain enough self-control almost all of the time to avoid lashing out in inappropriate ways, and I get stressed outside of play, I have plenty of strategies for dealing with it. I'm not talking being in a bad mood and getting snappish for him over nothing, but rather, that he's capable of stirring up very powerful emotions, both positive and negative, and I can't always predict how I'm going to react or respond. As MasterXMagnum said, the times when my surrender are the strongest are precisely when I am lost in those tidal forces, barely able to say "No" or my own name, much less carry on a reasoned discussion of my fears and concerns. I told him all of the ones I was aware of, back when we started dating, before I became his slave. If one comes up during play unexpectedly, we'd discuss it once I was capable of it again.
beej, I absolutely agree with you - and within the same relationship, there can be elements both of struggle and resistance, and joyful surrender. [:D]
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