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MsMillgrove -> RE: The Soldier. (4/21/2010 5:36:46 PM)
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In the d/s dynamic there is one area where parity needs to be achieved: commitment to the relationship. One who craves a full-time 24/7 position cannot pair with another who has multiple responsiblities and therefore cannot commit the same level of energy or time. Beyond that eveness in commitment, every d/s realtionship has unequal partners. Each brings a different set of skills, talents, intelligence, knowledge, and experience. Equality never exists--between two people.
I like the leathermen's use of the word "authority", rather than a "gift of submission". The sub/slave recognizes and surrenders to the authority of the master/dom.
A dom leads, a sub follows. That assumes an inequality in leadership skill. A serious d/s relationship, not a play partner match or "bedroom only", depends on the leadership ability of the dom. If the dom is not superior to the sub in leadership, why is the sub going to surrender to the dom's authority? What value is there is surrendering to your dom's authority if he or she cannot make decisions that are solid, does not have wisdom to guide?
When a master leads his sub for many years, eventually, if he's chosen strong-minded, good sub, chances are that sub will have grown so much that he or she has the skills to become an excellent dom, too. Sometimes the master permits the sub pets of her own or allows a position of alpha slave in a family, when that point is reached.
In my own family, my first girl did very well as a domme, but she eventually tired of it because of the responsibility, she preferred to spend her time with me, but we never became equals--because she had a slave heart--her joy was in surrender and service. And because I continued to exert my authority with her, always pushing her to grow and learn.
I don't think it matters which frame you use--soldier/commander, boss-assistant, pres and vice pres.. when it comes down to it. One leads - the other follows.
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