First steps as a submissive

First steps as a submissive (Full Version)

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gattinarosa -> First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 11:08:17 AM)
Hello everyone. I have never really been involved in d&s before but with when my recent boyfriend showed interest to me being his "sexual slave" we began to explore. I realised that he might be interested in this way of things because of certain dominant things he had done to me before. I am enjoying this side of things very much but my dream is to not just be subsmissive in the bedroom. I also want to be it outside of the bedroom, as fully as possible. I am not sure how to broach this. I have mentioned it to him but I don't think I explained it very well so he appeared a bit confused about what I really wanted! Any ideas about what I could say we could try without totally freaking him out?

lally2 -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 11:16:24 AM)
if he doesnt understand about Ds then maybe you need to get him to read some stuff. youre new too, so its going to be hard for you to explain it to him. here might be a good place for him to start. check out some threads on here that explore and discuss the Ds dynamic, there must be loads of them and have him read them. he'll either say 'hell no' or he'll be responsive. good luck

wisdomtogive -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 2:35:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 if he doesnt understand about Ds then maybe you need to get him to read some stuff. youre new too, so its going to be hard for you to explain it to him. here might be a good place for him to start. check out some threads on here that explore and discuss the Ds dynamic, there must be loads of them and have him read them. he'll either say 'hell no' or he'll be responsive. good luck I agree with lally on this. I would add too is to go slow. Take a little bit of information and meditate on it for awhile. Also do know no one has all your answers or his, so read a lot, but take nothing as absolute. Finally, before i knew about D/s, and was in a vanilla marriage, i was very much submissive outside the bedroom. I think that can achieved, if one has the need to do things for people and follow their orders. That is just me though. blessings wisdom p.s. welcome to the boards:)

leadership527 -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 6:09:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gattinarosa Any ideas about what I could say we could try without totally freaking him out? I have an idea... you could point out to him that what you want is a completely natural, normal and an every day event for all humans everywhere. Honestly, dominance and submission is a part of who we are. I think a large part of the problem in explaining this to vanilla folk is the desire to make it all unusual/wierd/kinky/special... which it is not.

LPslittleclip -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 9:43:51 PM)
there are several books that can help both of you explore it. one that i have read with my vanilla wife is called fetishby david bramwell also books by jay wiseman are also a good place so begin. when discussing with your partner find a place where the 2 of you are relaxed and comfortable and beginn the discusion on what it is that you want or would like to try and go from there. be honest open and understanding

femasoslave -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/28/2010 11:25:22 PM)
When i first realised that i was a subby (now slave but we all start as a sub), i did as much research as i could on the internet, that is your best bet, it takes a bit of weeding through but there is so much to be read and it's all fascinating. Good luck

sunshinemiss -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/29/2010 3:12:39 AM)
Bring him his coffee just the way he likes it without him asking you to. *And if he doesn't want it, I'm always up for coffee! [;)]

ResidentSadist -> RE: First steps as a submissive (3/29/2010 2:36:57 PM)
Start reading Gor books to him.

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