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RE: Which do YOU prefer? - 3/30/2010 7:22:23 AM

MissBeautiful2U

Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

Generally, I prefer a boy that has some experience and comes with some useful talents or skills that are not necessarily bdsm related. I want a boy who understands what it means to submit and complete newbies make me hesitant because I don't feel like being someone's experiment... most of the time. At the same time someone who has a great deal of experience may or may not be ideal because sometimes they are set in the "way it should be", however if they can accept that I do things different in some ways than their previous Mistress, then their experience is an asset. I might even get some new ideas from hearing about their past. This doesn't mean I dance to their tune, but a relationship really is a give and take regardless of the underlying dynamics. At least in my opinion.

(in reply to Mordecai)

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RE: Which do YOU prefer? - 4/5/2010 12:54:06 PM

kysanguinox

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

(fast reply)

Greetings,

For me training doesn't come into the picture. He can be either well trained or not trained at all, but if we don't 'click' then it really doesn't matter as I'm not interested. If a man and I have a connection I'll take the time to either re-train him or start from scratch. For me it's the person that matters, not the training.

Wickad

I totally agree. Training is irrelevant if there is no connection with the person. However, I do hate it when a submissive assumes I will act just like his/her prior Domme/Dom.

(in reply to Wickad)

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RE: Which do YOU prefer? - 4/5/2010 4:20:11 PM

madderrose

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mordecai

What I desire is to be able to present myself in the best light possible...

What do you desire in a "sub" one who is well trained in all of the things you desire or one who has potential to be trained in that which will please you? Is the training actually the desire? Or is it the captivation of a new sub which will give you the instant gratification of an already trained plaything?

Thank You for YOUR time...

mordecai

Bolded part is mine.

There's no easy answer to this, so these are just bits I look for.
From my point of view, presenting yourself in the best light possible occurs at the very first meeting. It sounds like a cliché, but you really only do have one chance to make a good first impression. So: Are you well-dressed? By that I mean showered, clean, hair looks nice and not a mess, did you brush your teeth that morning, shine your shoes? A suit isn't necessary, a clean pair of jeans and a fresh shirt is also nice.

What are your manners like? I'm a stickler for good behaviour. Not in the schoolma'arm way, but plain good manners like using 'please', 'thank you', and 'you're welcome'. Telling me a bit about yourself and not just mentioning your BDSM interest "Hi! I'm a sub! How may I serve?!" because, to me that comes after we get through with introductions.

Following that is the 'clicking' that others have mentioned. There has to be chemistry or a connection even from the very beginning, or I'm not going to be interested. To me any relationship, be it simple friendship or a working relationship or full on D/s, takes time. I want to make sure that we both like it and feel like investing in it, otherwise it'll just be a soul sucking experience for us both. After that comes the bit about the training, and again, what others said: I'm me. I'm not your former Domme. I'm me, and I like things to be done my way. But that doesn't imply that I want a blank page.
You've lived your own life and you bring stuff to the table just like I do, things you know how to do, things you enjoy. I want to know what those things are. It makes my life easier, and yours, and avoids confusion.

So, for me, it's a combination of things: skills, skills to be learned, past experiences, manners, personality, chemistry.

(in reply to Mordecai)

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Post #: 23