RE: i cannot understand this about submissives

RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 6:59:39 AM)
Well the fact that they KEEP getting involved with women who blow them off shows that they don't have very keen judgement and/or lack in some key social skills that they need. Lots of great doms DO meet great subs from the net. People get blown off all the time- and yeah it sucks and yeah it's usually because the person didn't really want to take it to the next level to begin with. But those people are usually pretty easy to spot. This is one of the main reasons I don't go out of my way to do a first meet from the net anymore.

Mercnbeth -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 7:48:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper There's something i don't understand...What do submissives and slaves want? candystripper given that "submissives" and "slaves" aren't made on a factory assembly line and have the same software installed, making them all the SAME...each person that calls themself submissive or slave is going to have a slightly different if not completely different take on what it is that they want and what it is they are willing to accept. some want to serve, some want to be served, yet they call themself by the same title. maybe the "Doms" you are friends with are big fakers--for all you know, these so-called Dom friends of yours might be submissives's in Dom's clothing and as soon as they reveal their misrepresented nature to the women they pursue, they are dropped~as they should be.

harmony3709 -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 10:19:56 AM)
This disappearing act happens with both dominants and submissives alike. When I was searching and meeting, I would refer to this as DSS -- the Disappearing Dom Syndrome. Talking with dominant friends and even those that I would meet or date, I found this could also be known as DSS -- the Disappearing Submissive Syndrome. I suspect as some have already posted, cold feet and facing the prospect of their fantasy becoming reality is just something that some people realize they are not ready to do, but I also suspect some people are just insensitive and rude. And unless those who do this suddenly start coming out and stating their reasons, unfortunately it's all just speculation on our part. I have known a number of people, both dominant and submissive, who because of this DDS and DSS will not consider someone who is completely new and has already at least met others in real time, if not had previous relationships. Of course this will not give any guaranty, but they seem to feel that it makes it less likely.

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 10:47:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Playone makes a valid point, but i know these Men are making an effort to avoid unstable people. For example, i know of Their introspection and Their search modalities and the many wonderful qualitiies They have. And the problem is not online alone. However, i cannot help wondering how many women are sincere about submisssion and slavery or playing a fantasy role until the rubber hits the road. My question is why a submissive woman would have passed these Men up; i know They have so much to offer. candystripper It isn't "submissive women". It's people. Some people get nervous. Some people screw up. Some people lie. These things happen. You may have a bit of the tunnel vision going on-seeing as how you're friends with these men. Maybe they have flaws that you cannot see. Perhaps the women they choose are not compatible with them on the long term. It doesn't matter if someone is "actually submissive" or involved in fantasy or a slave or whatever. Sometimes things happen. C'est la vie.

slavejali -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 11:59:13 AM)
quote: Original Quote: LuckyAlbatros Lots of great doms DO meet great subs from the net. Yeah, Master met me here grin

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 12:33:46 PM)
It doesn't just happen with subs in relations to Doms...Doms are guilty of it too... It doesn't just happen in the world of WIIWD either... It also happens in the Vanilla world..

starymists -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 1:04:03 PM)
Speaking for myself, there have certainly been times in the past when I was searching, that I broke contact off with a potential for a number of reasons, none of which had anything to do with getting cold feet. A lot of it had to do with the Dominant themselves. If I start to see indications that a Dominant is not in control of himself, why would I delude myself into thinking he could control me? If I start to see indications that I am being compared to some ideal sub/slave that carries high expectations that I can not possibly meet, why even get started. Other times it comes down to a matter of compatibility of wants and needs. I particularly hate when I have things in my profile, take the time to go through my deal breakers and find out in week 3 that the potential thinks I can be 'trained' out of those things they don't agree with. There have been times I've found out the potential is talking to several women at once while telling me I was the only one he was talking to. Times when references haven't checked out. The reasons can go on and on. And I'm not saying that any of your friends do these things...I also don't think it's ever OK to set up a meet and then just not show. But if I am going to break it off, believe me, there was a reason for it. And, no, I don't necessarily think I need to explain myself, particularly if there has been some form of deception as the cause of me breaking it off...I'm just simply gone.

mossy -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 1:34:59 PM)
i was supposed to meet with someone. A few hours before i decided not to go. Something didn't feel right. Intuition. Just a feeling. It turned out i was correct to not go, grateful for this.

Aileen68 -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 4:45:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper i think perhaps the posters miss the point of the Op; these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear. candystripper Maybe the problem is that they never stopped to ask the woman if she too thought that they were compatible. That spark, that chemistry, has to be present on both sides.

perverseangelic -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 5:32:42 PM)
I can think of lots of reasons, honestly. From my personal experience, the way someone acts right up till when we meet determines my comfort level. I have, on occation, blown off a meeting and "vanished" because of the way someone acted once I told them I would meet. For example, I was supposed to meet an individual a few weeks ago. We had aranged the meeting, he seemed like a really nice guy, I was looking forward to it. The day of our meeting, I come to my computer to find he's e-mailed me a very long, very pornographic list of "expectatiosn" for the first time we get together. Totatlly of a different character than our previous exchanges. I chose not to meet with him. I know the OP said these individuals were great people, but people with whom we are friends interact with us differently that people that are potential romantic partners. Not always, but often. Sometimes someone who I like a great deal as a friend has a way of finding partners that is just...not so good... Perhaps these individuals are like that. Another less flattering reason I can think of--perhaps th e s-type isnt' good at telling people "no." Perhaps she's been taught that s-types don't tell potential d-type partners no. Maybe she's intersted in meeting eventually, but not interested in meeting -yet- but feels that she isn't "allowed" to say that she doesn't want to yet. So when a face to face meeting is pushed for, because she feels she can't say no, she simply doesn't show. And then because she's embarassed, she ceases communication. Too, people are flakes. People in generally, not just female s-types. I figure it's safe to assume at least 50% of the people that say will meet you won't show up. ~shrug~ Just how it is. (A side note though: I've been stood up my more male d-types than female s-types.)

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: i cannot understand this about submissives (4/3/2006 6:25:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper i think perhaps the posters miss the point of the Op; these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear. candystripper Hey Candy, its a two way street, just coz he is all systems go, dont mean she is. Clearly from the OP. Does it matter anyway, they clearly arent going to meet now, so er, move on. NEXT! Plenty more fish in the sea.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125