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OttersSwim -> RE: What is it about "forced fem" (3/30/2010 7:23:45 PM)
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I posted this in the most recent forced fem topic, but fear it got lost in the back and forth:
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I am grateful that you Ladies see the positive aspect of being a girlie boy that I do my best to represent. I am not actually nearly so put together in my head or in my heart. Everything that the Ladies here -do- have a go at in the realm of Forced Femme and males being girlie - I have been that exact guy at one point or another in my life.
And so let me put in a word in FAVOR of Forced Femme.
Our societies do not easily embrace difference.
Just as women are put into societal boxes of expectations on roles and duties, so it is for men as well. But there is a difference. Women are generally encouraged and empowered to be independent, strong in mind, body and will. Such traits encouraged in the right women can lead to a Dominant Female. And so here are a bunch of you who have been raised with a supportive ethic, or in whom your natural strength has burst forth and society gives women "permission" in most cases to be that way. So even though we are generally in a "fringe" of society at large, what a Dominant Woman is doing would generally be looked on in a favorable light - you are in charge, you exhibit your strength. That is good!
Men are put into those same boxes of independence, strength, responsibility, etc. There is NOTHING in the male socialization that EVER encourages a man to be meek, yielding, or submissive - except maybe to GOD.
And so, having those feelings is at polar opposite of what a man is taught in every aspect of his life that he is -supposed to be-. The implication is that if he is -not- these things, then he is -failing-. Most men must make a journey to submission and experience an evolution of feelings that lead to changes in behaviors and actions. That journey can be very very hard...some never make it.
Now imagine being a man and trying to get to a safe environment where you could be that submissive person inside you. The giant mass of your upbringing, and the expectations of society screaming at you that what you are doing is not what a man is "supposed to do/be". Lay on top of that, feelings that lead a male to a feminine place and it is a wonder to me that most males in that place don't just burst into fire on the spot. We'd all see these black spots on the ground and say "Oh, there goes another one..."
In order to get to that "safe place", that "submissive place", a lot of guys need a gateway. And for many, that gateway is "being forced". It does not matter that they want it and that they are not really being forced. What they want is a haven away from the screaming expectations that they can get to a place where they can safely feel submissive.
I have said before that there is an evolution going on here, and if a Dominant Lady is ever going to entertain the thought of having a girlie boy serve her, She will need to evaluate where he is in that evolution. It is true that there are some who equate femininity with weakness and submission and thereby evoke that squick factor in a female that says "Wait a minute...I am feminine, so what do you think that says about me?!"
I would ask that people realize that just as it takes males some time and evolution to get to a place where they can let go their ego and those screaming expectations, so too does it take a new person time and evolution to realize that submission is not weakness, but strength. So as a Dominant Female, you may not pick that person up, but you might take the time to enlighten them that submission is not weakness, nor is being feminine.
So yea, being forced is a sort of trope, and it makes people roll their eyes a bit. But for some males, it is where they are on that journey to submission - looking for a gateway to safety that allows them to get to that place of submission.
It changes nothing about whether having a girlie boy in your service is your thing or not, but hopefully it fosters more understanding of the subject and concepts of submission in the male person. A difficult road for most, to be sure.
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