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RE: help for the inexperienced - 4/8/2010 5:03:07 PM

WiseCracknSadist

Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

Slaves are natural servants. You have to give them things to do. From simple tasks to personal tasks, sexual tasks, they need to feel guided. They seek it out. Uknowingly at first until they figure it out.

If you're in this because it just sounds like a good idea you're not going to have the strength to fulfill her. If its who you are sack up.

Also you might try talking to her. We're just a bunch of random opinions she can give you the facts.

(in reply to barelynangel)

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Post #: 21

RE: help for the inexperienced - 4/9/2010 4:20:59 AM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSvafnir

I wouldnt say the I am new to the lifestyle however I do lack experience in owning a slave. The thing is though that I have met a slave that I will potentially own and while talking last night she expressed to me that at times she doesnt feel that I make her place known to her. So my question is how can I get her to communicate what she needs to me without getting into topping from the bottom? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanx

Hello and welcome to the boards. I'm not too familiar with the actual Gorean style of handling things, but it seems that she is looking for direction or guidance at times or at least some sort of exercising of your authority over her. I wouldn't be so concerned about any topping-from-the-bottom behavior with her comments or your adjusting what you do. That is a part of the necessary communication that should exist between you both to begin with so you both can be the best for each other with the best potential for happiness. She is essentially saying that she wishes more interaction with your authority, and desires you...not "I don't like what you are doing, and you need to change". She is reaching out to enhance the M/s experience between you both. You're the one to provide what she needs to serve and be who she can be for you. You're the boss of her...she wants that. And a good boss makes sure that the subordinate has what is needed to get things done right.

So have an open and honest discussion with her, and adjust what needs to be adjusted. You both will be happier or better, and the potential for a lasting and truly meaningful relationship will develop from this. This isn't a matter of someone encroaching into D-territory, and shouldn't be viewed that way. It's about communication and adjustment for the better. Good luck and welcome to the boards again...

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to SirSvafnir)

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Post #: 22

RE: help for the inexperienced - 4/27/2010 1:44:45 PM

dragon200070

Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline

Being a newbie is not a sin, but it is not helpful either. Get a mentor to help and assist you, do your homework and read kinky literature, and go to groups/munches where you can talk to experienced people (Dom and sub).

I offer to mentor people all the time.

Jeff

(in reply to SirSvafnir)

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Post #: 23