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ORIGINAL: thewashingtonian

As I've said before, I am not in the business of controlling people. My personality in general just tends to be on the dominate side. I'm not here for a cheap thrill or to rule over anyone elses life. As a matter of fact, I don't even believe in casual sex or dating. What I'm truly looking for is loyalty. To me, that is one of (if not the) most important part of a relationship. I'm a very loyal person and I expect the same from whoever I'm with. I don't go into relationships with a cap. I'm looking for a person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. I realize I'm young and I know that there's much for me to learn; but one thing I want made perfectly clear is that I'm not here or anywhere to sow wild oats or to have a fling. When it comes to love and romantic relationships, I take it with utmost seriousness. 

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In no particular order - strength of character, masculinity, an astute mind, common sense, dominance, pride, willpower, adamancy, liveliness, fortitude, patience, understanding, honor, generosity towards the deserving, lack of pity towards those seeking their own misfortune, and the diversity to be both a prick and a gentleman - combined with enough insight about those around you to know when to be which.

Be the type of man she can have faith in.
Provide something for her in her life that she cannot accomplish on her own.
Those last two things are really the only two things women look for in a man.

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ORIGINAL: ishyB

Knowing what you want is a good thing, now you need to develop a strategy which will enable you to get what you want.

Your main concern is loyalty, which is understandable, who wouldn't want loyalty in a partner?
But with such a broad definition of what you want, how will you effectively communicate to women what precisely it is you want them to be loyal in?

Are you looking for sexual loyalty?
Are you looking for loyalty in an emotional sense? (Her "being there for you".)
Are you looking for loyalty in an intellectual sense? (Her having faith in your ideas and following you in them.)
Are you looking for goal orientated loyalty? (Having a common dream, and working together to realize that dream.)
All of the above?

How exactly did your vanilla girlfriends fail to be loyal to you, what exactly did they do that made them disloyal? Answering this will help you to more clearly define what it is that you are looking for right now.

After you've clearly defined what it is that you want from a woman, you have to analyze what you have to offer to her which will make you worthy of her loyalty.

Loyalty is not a concept that people can freely offer to another person, it's not something you can promise.
A woman can promise to be faithful to you, and break her promise if she cheats on you.
But she can't ever promise her loyalty to you, even if she never cheats on you, because loyalty is a bond that has to grow in order for it to be established, just like trust.

You can start a relationship, both understanding that the goal is to create mutual loyalty, but you can't expect that to happen from the first moment you meet a woman.

Now, you have to think about what you as a man have to offer to a woman that would inspire her loyalty.
What are you offering in return?
I assume that you offer you will be loyal to her as well, but is simply offering loyalty (that you cannot even promises will develop) enough to create this bond you are looking for?

People can become loyal to a person, if that person is somebody they can trust and depend upon, if the person is always there for them, if the person offers something beneficial to their lives.
I'm going to post a piece of a mail here, that I wrote recently in answer to somebody who asked me what attracted me to Master, while I don't think all these qualities will apply to you, it might give you something to think about:

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In no particular order - strength of character, masculinity, an astute mind, common sense, dominance, pride, willpower, adamancy, liveliness, fortitude, patience, understanding, honor, generosity towards the deserving, lack of pity towards those seeking their own misfortune, and the diversity to be both a prick and a gentleman - combined with enough insight about those around you to know when to be which.

Be the type of man she can have faith in.
Provide something for her in her life that she cannot accomplish on her own.
Those last two things are really the only two things women look for in a man.

So what defines you as a man that would inspire a woman's loyalty towards you?
What do you have to offer?
Answering those questions will make your search a whole lot easier.

I wish you well,

ishy

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ORIGINAL: thewashingtonian

Wow..you really gave me a lot to think about. I am, though, extremely grateful for this very thought out message. I value your input here as someone who's taking on a submissive role in a relationship. I will really have to think about all of this because it's opened a lot of doors I never knew even existed.

Thank you again! :-)

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ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir

the whole lifestyle can be overwhelming. There are so many different kinks, acronyms, techniques and what not that common sense can sometimes be lost in the clutter.

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ORIGINAL: lally2

the thing is you can follow someone elses recipe on how to bake the perfect souffle but it takes practice to really get those sodding things right.

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I think it's important for me to elaborate on one part of my bio about myself and my history with relationships. The main reason why I joined this site is because I'm looking for someone that I can trust, who will remain loyal to me.

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All of my relationships have ended abruptly and quickly due to the fact that my previous ex's simply grew tired of being in a relationship. I believe, though, with a "sub"; I'll find a woman that will give me the respect and loyalty I deserve.