RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy?

RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (Full Version)

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azjojoba -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 1:28:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Thank you for perpetuating the myth that all men are dogs and few are interested in anything more than getting their rocks off. Believe it or not, some males really do get more satisfaction out of embracing the whole woman, rather than just fulfilling their sexual wants. For the record, plenty of males do respond to those of us who specifically say we aren't interested in casual sex. Truthfully, there honestly are males out there who would like to establish a relationship, instead of just setting up a booty call. My original post didn't say anything about casual sex -- I wrote "NO SEX". I'm glad I could finally do something for you though -- which proves I can give service to dommes!

LadyPact -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 9:03:38 AM)
If that's your idea of service, it doesn't surprise Me that no one takes you up on it.

pyroaquatic -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 9:18:53 AM)
In my opinion I am whatever my Lady wants me to be. This does not been planning subterfuge to your own Style. The small things do matter. Remember the small things.

cloudboy -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 10:14:14 AM)
I was commenting more on your link.

Tantriqu -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 2:59:44 PM)
A very judgemental title. I don't want or expect an 'errand boy.' I expect a man. Good men help their partners, whether they're vanilla or sub. Good men have figured out that doing the groceries, cleaning the bathroom and/or buying 'just because' flowers gets women HOT. Thoughtful tasks performed by men without direction or reminding gives women more time and energy for fabulous sex. Contrariwise, men 'forgetting' to do what they promised to do or leaving unfinished tasks and messes or requiring constant direction [watched a vanilla man in a grocery store lately? the cellphone is never far from his ear] waves goodbye to our wide-ons or goodbye, man. Easy equation, no? Surprising the number who haven't figured it out yet. Lifestyle Dommes want what your dads expected of your mothers: although our partners are very male, we have a wife who has his own job and money, keeps the home and himself spotless, always ready to go out or stay in, and is great in the sack 24/7. Ward Cleaver with a bigger brain, a vacuum and a collar. After a long, hard day, nothing beats walking into a clean house to be met by a naked man wearing a wicked grin and idly tossing a mango, or a naked man kneeling with a huge . . . cup of tea beside a set table, a man who can wear jeans one moment, an Armani suit the next and a CB6000 under anything. And here's the fabulous thing: not only do we get what we want: good men, straight or vanilla, enjoy giving it. What they do is not a fluffy 'errand': it's work and it's gotta be done, day in and day out, and they choose to do it to make our lives easier. Not 'help': do. Real life, ya know?

PeonForHer -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 4:05:22 PM)
FR Re that simple 'economic equation' - that if energy has to be used up by the femdom in e.g. housework or other chores, then she has less energy for play: Something I've noticed is that femdoms, as a group, seem to be much keener on physical exercise than vanilla women. Again, if subs appreciate their femdoms' honed bodies, then they're going to have to understand that she'll be even less likely to want to play if she comes home after not just a full day's work at the office but a tough stint at the gym, too.

TNstepsout -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 5:48:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba I would say that most female dominants on this site who are not pros want an errand boy. They also stipulate no sex. My guess is that not very many of them find takers. What man in his right mind would agree to those kind of terms? I think the part missing from your description is that there is a time period of getting to know one another, creating a rapport and mutual respect before a complete stranger just starts ordering a man to pick up her laundry, wash the car, mow the lawn etc... The purpose of service is that it's a way of showing someone you like or maybe love, respect and care about, how you feel about them. It's about giving back to someone in a meaningful way. Maybe there are some women who expect a complete stranger to show submission by cooking, cleaning etc... just because she calls herself a Mistress, but I know I'm not one of those and I don't think most of the women here are either. Unfortunately this medium tends to give a "short-cut" impression to a lot of people but that may not be exactly what the writer intended.

Andalusite -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 6:02:07 PM)
Fair enough, Cloudboy, but I really found it spoke to me/expressed some of my experiences with both sides. I agree there's a difference between just doing nice things for people and submissive service - my Master and my previous Dominant did nice things for me at times, and so did the people I was in egalitarian relationships with. For me, service is a somewhat different mindset to some extent, but service from a submissive perspective pushes different buttons for me than just being nice and helpful, and on the Dominant side, I hope that my submissive playpartner gets similar feelings on the occasions when she is able to be of service to me. We haven't really explored that a whole lot, since she has other responsibilities which preclude her being my submissive. If we were in a romantic and D/s relationship, I'd expect a lot more from her.

CdnExplorer -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 6:51:14 PM)
quote: this medium tends to give a "short-cut" impression to a lot of people but that may not be exactly what the writer intended I think this is it exactly. At least for the most part I think (or hope) that it is. I met a domme a few years ago at a party who I really liked. When I eventually found her profile here it didn't fit my impression of her at all. She focused on selling the fantasy that some guys are looking for, and the result was that she sounded like a tyrannical hardass who was interested only in taking. A dom in my area had the same kind of thing going on. He's a great guy. Funny, nerdy and loves to laugh at himself. But his profile made him sound like a jerk.

PeonForHer -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 7:17:56 PM)
Did you ever ask her why she'd written such a stilted profile, CDN? I've now grown used to the fact that nice, balanced and human sorts of dommes will write such stuff in a profile, but still don't feel I can entirely grasp why.

CdnExplorer -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/7/2010 8:46:07 PM)
I did, actually! She thought that's what subs wanted to see. I told her that if I had read that and never met her I wouldn't have dreamed of contacting her. She's changed her profile around since then and I think she's had far more luck in finding genuine subs. She still gets wankers and time wasters, but she's finding more of what she wants too.

LadyHugs -> RE: Does a male submissive have to be an errand boy? (4/8/2010 11:57:23 AM)
Dear tightropes; I seek a slave, that makes my life 'richer.' Slaves in my old ways of thinking (1970's) are those individuals to whom perform whatever service that their owner's require of them, within commonsense/reason. Submissives are Democratic. They like to act on what 'rights' they have and use it to snip power into what they are willing to offer in a submissive/subserviant manner. There are scene only slaves/submissives out there, who limit things to only a scene, in the bedroom or on their schedule and or 'to do list.' A male doesn't have to be or do anything. That said, they would not be viewed, considered and or entertained if there was no effort at all to at least be helpful and polite/mannerly. Until I become cripple entirely, there are some things I can do for myself. However, preferring a 'service slave' myself, if I am going to do something for myself; I must feed the service side of that slave in another manner. Unfortunately, through the years the definitions of what is this or that in a person who submits--be it for a moment, a scene, a lifetime --has been blurred, skewed and all over the board and so 'away' from what was more 'black and white' as to be on a common page and from that common page; the tailoring of Dominants of their slaves, subs and or servants as to personalize them into what customizes what creates 'pleasing pleasure and service' to that Dominant. It should lay before the Dominant as to what in their mind is this or that kind of slave. A service slave would indeed do an errand for me if I so choose them to do so. I don't do this with a frivilous waste of energy just to flex my Dominant muscles/control. I do this as it is needed to be done. I don't need a sub/slave/servant who is lazy or can't do the work. I can pay for a maid and have less grief. For me though; I want the relationship as well as the servant slave. The more servant slaves the better. Get work/chores done, more time for us to enjoy the rest of the day. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted, Lady Hugs

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