Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears

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Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:10:18 PM

MadeiraDarling

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My lover and I have a D/s relationship to an extent. I work as a pro-domme, but my girlfriend is the domme in terms of our relationship, and I would like to ask her to decide what I wear, and I was wondering if anyone had suggestions on how to ask this of her?

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:17:46 PM

Lockit

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What do you do when you come up with a real problem in the relationship? Because if you are not able to talk to her about something so small and not of real importance, I would be worried about those more serious situations.

Or is this a trick question?

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:17:59 PM

thishereboi

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I would try something along the lines of "What would you like me to wear?" or "Do you have a preference in what I wear?"

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:20:49 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

Or is this a trick question?

I wondered about that. So I read her profile. Now I want to know how someone can be an expert at so many things, but still has to ask this. Maybe she should hypnotize her and make her tell her what to wear.

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:36:19 PM

MadeiraDarling

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I'm more able to talk about bigger stuff, I'm just a bit shy about asking for things like this. I always feel as if I've phrased it wrong somehow and end up feeling silly.

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 7:42:53 PM

Lockit

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If she cares about you, something like this would not be silly. I would want to know something like this. Knowing could be very enlightening to a dominant.

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 8:12:28 PM

MadeiraDarling

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Thank you, like I said, I've just always had trouble asking for things from dommes in general, not that they've ever had a negative response, but I got very used to vanilla partners being horrified that I'm a bit shy about asking for them now, whereas I'm very comfortable in my role as a pro-domme and not shy at all there

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 3/31/2010 8:19:15 PM

RedMagic1

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If ritual and getting into headspace both help you to be not-shy, perhaps you could work out with her a way to signal that you want to bring something up without fear of being laughed at or put down.

For example, a code sentence: "Hername, may I ask you something?" Or you wear a special beret in your hair. A signal where she knows you're about to express something hard for you, and you need a safe space to do it in.

You could turn this into a bonding ritual!

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RE: Best way to ask one's domme to decide what one wears - 4/1/2010 3:51:41 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling

I'm more able to talk about bigger stuff, I'm just a bit shy about asking for things like this. I always feel as if I've phrased it wrong somehow and end up feeling silly.

Perhaps if you realize you are not asking her for anything. You are asking her what she wants from you. Expressing that you want to be pleasing to her and need to know how to best do that.

One thing I tell a woman from the beginning of contact, "feel free to ask me ANYthing". I only get annoyed when they do not ask and should have.

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