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ThatDamnedPanda -> Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! (3/31/2010 9:29:54 PM)
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quote:
WASHINGTON - The Department of Homeland Security announced late Wednesday evening that April Fools' Day - the day of pranks, hoaxes, and practical jokes that is traditionally observed on April 1st of each year - will be canceled in 2010 because of heightened security concerns. In announcing the directive, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano cited the recent arrests of radical militia members in Michigan, saying that it has now become so difficult to tell the difference between terrorists and clowns, there is a danger that people will not know whether they are the victims of a practical joke or if they are, in fact, being murdered by terrorists.
“We regret the inconvenience this may cause to people who have planned elaborate pranks for their friends, families, and co-workers,” said Secretary Napolitano, “but we feel that given the threat under which Americans are living today, we cannot afford to take any chances. We also apologize for the short notice we are giving to practical jokers, and I want to assure everyone who has already spent money on Super Glue, amonium hydroxide, or 'Gay Pride' bumper stickers that if they just take the receipt to their local post office, they will be reimbursed for the materials.” Napolitano said the money for the buyback program will be taken from the funding for the new health care program, since nobody has any idea how any of that is supposed to work anyway.
Full story here
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