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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/2/2010 9:07:17 PM

DarkSteven

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There's another possibility that nobody's mentioned... He might just be someone who wants a service top. That's like being a "do-me" sub...

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/2/2010 10:00:30 PM

takemeforyourown

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Please, don't feel bad about your questions! I was totally floored when asked if I would do this for a Dom. NOT jumping on you here. I like your posts.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/3/2010 12:19:00 PM

Andalusite

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I'm a switch, and wouldn't have a problem with using a strap-on, or with someone who was a masochistic dominant. His approach would have left me completely cold though - he sounds dishonest about his needs and desires, and blaming you for not being a true submissive/submissive enough because you didn't share his interests. The part about "I thought you were the kind of submissive who wants" particularly struck me wrong, since you hadn't expressed any interest in that activity in the first place - it was like he was accusing *you* of being dishonest in how you presented *your* desires. Totally not cool.

As to strap-ons in general, when you were with the other woman, were you dominating her, or just using the strap-on as a sex toy, to bring pleasure to both of you? You could use it more with the latter frame of mind, if you wind up with someone who is interested in that activity. Or, you could express that you would desire to have it specifically used in a more dominant way, combined with other activities. For example, he could tie you spread-eagle and do wax play or something, and have you give him a BJ, then put the strap-on on you and ride you while he yanks on nipple clamps, slaps your face, or whatever gets you going. Another option would be tying you face down, maybe in a slight hog-tie with an intricate rope harness, and use the knots in the rope to hold a dildo to your thigh. Then, he could ride you while spanking or flogging you, pulling your hair, or even taking you anally or vaginally if he can get the angles to work right.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/3/2010 12:58:59 PM

DesFIP

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No reason to take the question back, it's understandable. And the only way we learn is by asking dumb questions, if they were that smart then we would already know the answer.

So short answer is that men have prostates, and many men find prostate manipulation to be erotic. Not a power thing, just a turned on thing.

With that said, most of us would have difficulty the first time doing this, and some of us even though we know it is a sensation thing and not a topping thing we still couldn't do it. Thankfully he's never asked this of me and I hope he never does because I'm not sure I could do it.

I can massage his feet and personally I find bastinado to be an incredible foot massage, nothing toppy or bottomy to it, yet I still wouldn't want to have to beat his feet. I'd be too afraid of hurting him to be able to do it.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/7/2010 7:07:56 AM

sunshinemiss

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"I thought that you were one of those special subs that cherished penetrating your Master for the special connection and oneness it creates".

Not only are you not weal and twue, but you awe not speshool.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/8/2010 9:00:32 AM

DesFIP

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You just say that since you're on the other side of the world. lol.

And I am so special, I ride a short bus!

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/8/2010 10:59:31 AM

Aynne88

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I haven't been asked to do that, but my Man loves having his cock sucked while I use this on him, and usually I am getting slapped at the same time, so no.....anally penetrating your Dom is not equated by me as being un sublike. ;) You could start with this anyway, I am willing to bet he will *love* it!

http://www.nexusprostatemassagers.com/

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/8/2010 11:16:38 AM

SailingBum

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It sounds like you need to get over your preconceived notions of what a dom is. You have some "weirded" out concept of what a dom is supposed to be. The dom instructed you to do it that tell me that he is in charge...

BadOne

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/8/2010 3:10:50 PM

reynardfox

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Oh Dear, you do so adore displaying your ignorance don't you?
Its not any particular act that makes one sub or Dom, it's the intent behind it.
The act concerns the direct stimulation of the prostate, which is the core of all male sexuality, and only a very trusting man would let you within a mile of it.
Whether or not the man is a Dom, he was taking you into his confidence, and here we are. Glad it wasn't me.
I enjoy having my ass licked, which possibly seems more like it for a dominant, but to be honest I was unaware that there were people out there who would be willing to judge me on it. I thought it was the vanillas who got off on intimating that we were odd.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/9/2010 10:24:06 AM

chicagoswitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

its an interesting question though. have to admit id feel a bit strange with that one too. i was thinking vaguely about something said on here recently, nothing specific though, about what creates the whole male supremacy thing - a pregnant woman is a vessel for a time, for the mans baby, for a time she is reliant on support. and the whole sex act of penetration, entering a woman is a strong psychological 'invasion' of her body.

in recent times with emancipation and the vote and women holding their own in society more than they ever did, even 40 years ago this whole domination of a womans body by a mans cock, semen and eventually baby is now aggressively rejected - but ill admit, when im pined down and fucked i love the domination of that act.

i had a Master who enjoyed penetration with my finger, at first i felt a bit squeamish, but i did it anyway, in the end i just saw it as giving him something he enjoyed on a purely physical level. i guess i could wear a strap on but i watched a programme about this on the tv a while back. the Domme who wore it said that it gave her a feeling of Dominance and power and im not sure if the act wouldnt bring out the very small and quietly curious Domme in me so it probably would fuck wth my head, i might even be tempted to slap him on the arse to see how that felt too - hm, wonder how that would go down....

Sometimes, they need a good slap on the arse......oops.

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/9/2010 2:22:51 PM

DesFIP

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And sometimes one good slap gets you several in response :)

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/9/2010 4:33:32 PM

laura2161

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quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Oh Dear, you do so adore displaying your ignorance don't you?
Its not any particular act that makes one sub or Dom, it's the intent behind it.
The act concerns the direct stimulation of the prostate, which is the core of all male sexuality, and only a very trusting man would let you within a mile of it.
Whether or not the man is a Dom, he was taking you into his confidence, and here we are. Glad it wasn't me.
I enjoy having my ass licked, which possibly seems more like it for a dominant, but to be honest I was unaware that there were people out there who would be willing to judge me on it. I thought it was the vanillas who got off on intimating that we were odd.

Hmmm, did I miss where she 'outed' him? I read the thread and as far as I can see she does not name his name. If I missed it then I would agree she outed him, though that doesn't seem to be the case.

To the OP: 'I' would not do what this dom asked. If I were you I would be glad the subject came up so soon and you can simply tell him you and he are not compatible and leave it at that. My answer would be different if you and he were already in a relationship and you knew of his wants and then decided against it; Since that obviously is not the case just say "Good luck in your search" and be on your way :-)

Laura

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RE: This is truly a first for me.... - 4/9/2010 6:16:04 PM

chicagoswitch

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