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catize -> RE: The number one thing (4/2/2010 10:57:49 PM)
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First there is the regular relationship qualities of compatibility, honesty, mutual respect, a mutually appreciated humor, conversation that never lags.
Then of course is the fact that our definitions and views of what make a D/s relationship work is the same for both of us.
But what you are asking I think, is why do I submit to a certain man and not to others. The 3 men in my life have been clear about their expectations of me, They have been honest about how much of my life they are willing to dominate, and have allowed me to draw my own parameters, I will submit up to here, but no farther. They take their responsibilities as a dominant seriously, which includes what RavenMuse refers to as their 'duty of care'. They have taken the time to get to know me well enough that when I am in subspace and not very verbal, they have paid attention to my responses that they know when an adjustment is needed or change the activity. Because of all this, because they trust me as much as I trust them, because we are on the same page about how far we are wiling to go, submitting to them brings me joy. There is no way this can be explained with one word. Additionally, I will add a most unhelpful thing---there is an unidentified ~~something~~ about them that simply declares itself as the kind of dominance that I can submit to. I cannot articulate what that something is; I knows it when I sees it, and I felt its absence when it wasn't been present in others.
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