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RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 9:42:11 AM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

hope you get some answers that help in the way your Dom intended.

My best guess is that his intentions were that we would all tell her she is a 'bad,bad subby' and validate his reaction.

Meh.

i hope she just talks with him about it.

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RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 10:55:38 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

hope you get some answers that help in the way your Dom intended.

My best guess is that his intentions were that we would all tell her she is a 'bad,bad subby' and validate his reaction.

Meh.

i hope she just talks with him about it.

personally speaking - if i had ever told my M to fuck off he would have either seen it as a slip up or if not he would have dealt with it right then and there - why the whole big whooha.

when a 49 year old woman, who apparently isnt interested in having a Dominant in her life at the moment (???) has to be told by, i can only assume, her mentor, to go and ask what we think he should do with her it all starts to get a bit daft.

the point im trying to make, though im not sure why

- is - havent we got better things to do....... (im laughing at myself here, because here i am writing this) im not having a dig at anyone atall, ive posted on here aswell, it just strikes me as a bit loopy. a 49 year old woman has been told by her mentor to ask us what he should do - ..... is it just me or am i being a ratbag because i need a shag.

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Post #: 22

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 1:42:14 PM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
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There are some inherent advantages to having a dynamic in which I can be myself at times and be his sub at others. Because me as me has been known to threaten to smack him around if he keeps being a smartass, or hog tie him and drag into doing something he needs to......whereas sub-me wouldn't dream of such a thing. The appropriateness of your action depedns upon you, him, your won unique relationship, and what you have agreed upon.

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Post #: 23

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 2:36:03 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lookingforsame
He told me to ask the other subs on here what they could expect if they told their Dom to f-off.

haha Well, if i told Him "Fuck you" or to "Fuck off," first He would whip around and say "What did you say!?" and if i IMMEDIATELY and PROFUSELY apologized and begged for mercy, i might get some relatively minor punishment. If i said it again or said something like "You heard me," i would get "the pole." Believe me, NO ONE wants the pole.....unless s/he's a dyed in the wool masochist. It's a contraption where you get blindfolded, attached to it, and whipped and don't know which direction it's coming from or where each lash will land. Believe me, you WILL be sorry. Now, if i were to say it DURING the pole, He would understand that it's a reaction to what's happening to me. BUT the longer i resisted what's happening to me, the longer it would last. Master Sir loves me, but He's also very strict & has definite rules, and i am expected to obey them. One of those rules is NO swearing at Him.

~kitten~

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Post #: 24

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 2:40:58 PM

itsmeinLV

Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
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I generally don't joke around like that but I understand where it's coming from. If it's clearly a joke but I dislike it, then I'd explain it and let it go this one time. Any more times would just be disrespectful.

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Post #: 25

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 2:51:19 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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I curse a lot and my Owner doesn't mind, but to even think about saying "fuck off" or "fuck you" to him, even in a joking manner, makes me uncomfortable. For me, it's a respect issue. I don't think he would ever say those things to me, either. The respect we have for each other is a very important part of our relationship. We do joke around a lot and tease each other, but "fuck off" or "fuck you" feels like a line I wouldn't want to cross.

If I did cross it--maybe if I had too much to drink or was really tired or for whatever reason not thinking straight--I imagine I would apologize profusely and humbly accept whatever punishment he felt apprpriate. I would feel terrible about saying something so disrespectuful to him, even if it were meant jokingly.

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RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 3:52:41 PM

DWCskitten

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~Fast Reply~
Yes, i agree with you, lucylucy. It IS a respect issue. And it's somewhere i would NEVER want to go. It would just be too weird.

~kitten~

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Post #: 27

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 4:48:50 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

I have never sworn at my owner other than when I was bound and there was a festival of cane/whip welts decorating my body. During times like that, I can become quite inventive. Although, I must admit, "what a pussy, you hit like a girl!" was one line that was NEVER uttered twice.

I wonder if you expected anything else once you uttered those words? Could you sit down the next week? If any question would provoke a response...

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Post #: 28

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 4:53:10 PM

trueshadow

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I agree that the OP said something that was unacceptable, in any context. If I said it to a vanilla woman, the least I would expect is stony silence for a long time. I might be at the jewelry store the next day to obtain a peace offering.

As a slave, I would expect to be punished severely, which I would richly deserve.

I wouldn't say that to her even if I was in a lot of pain from a whipping. That is a very nasty, and personal, thing to say. You deserved to be punished soundly for that, IMO. It is enough to fracture a relationship.

As a slave, if my Owner told me that, I'd accept it because I probably deserved it. The other way around, no way.

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Post #: 29

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 6:46:53 PM

Phoenix73Sir

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From: Northants, UK
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There is also another porssinility that has yet to be mentioned here.

It is possible that meing made to post about it in here was a mild punishment for a mild midemenour.

perhapse he is hoping a small amount of semi public humiliation in here may be enough to make you think about what you did and alter your behaviour on it's own.

but then i could be a mile off the mark too.

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Post #: 30

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 9:06:17 PM

lucylucy

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Joined: 3/1/2009
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I've thought about this one a bit today (since I made my first post a few hours ago). As I said, I curse a lot, but I am very careful to never curse at my Owner. However, there are times when I've come very close to cursing inappropriately at work. I think it's because I do toss around the f-bomb a bit too much in general, so I every once in a while just forget about the power the word can have. As trueshadow said,

quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow
That is a very nasty, and personal, thing to say.

I don't agree with trueshadow that it could be a relationship-ender (more on that in a moment), but I do think that when we use the word a lot, we forget how mean it really can be.

I am assuming, based on the original post, that the OP used the term thoughtlessly rather than on purpose to offend or hurt her Dom. That makes a difference. I think a punishment for speaking thoughtlessly would be appropriate. Now, if she used the term on purpose to offend or hurt her Dom, I could understand it being a relationship-breaker, depending on how long they've been together, what's causing her to want to offend or hurt her Dom, and other factors. If my Owner said "fuck off" to me and meant it to hurt me, it would do a tremendous amount of damage to our relationship. Now, if he said it thoughtlessly, I'd be surprised and hurt, but I think a conversation about it would set things right and it would not in any way threaten our relationship.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

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Post #: 31

RE: Swearing at my Dom - 4/4/2010 10:52:19 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
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Hmm.. my dom loves when i curse... doesn't matter to him... of course I am NEVER and I do repeat NEVER disrespectful, just playful. I do know if I had said the same thing in a playful way he'd laugh and say something witty or silly , like I love when you talk dirty... something silly like that... They each have their limits though I suppose. lol good luck!!! Dreamer

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Post #: 32