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LadyNTrainer -> RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in your fantasy life? (4/10/2010 8:32:51 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kana
Grins, though I am beginning to wonder exactly which side of the line staple guns belong on....
Surgical staple guns? Definitely on the fun side of the line, and completely safe if you a) know what you are doing and b) have the correct type of surgical staple remover. The industrial kind, leave them in your fantasies as use on humans is not recommended unless you want to end your scene with a very expensive medical play session in your local ER.
By definition, there are no hard limits in a fantasy, except what really doesn't turn you on at the moment. My pet has written some impressively twisted works of erotic fiction involving torturing fiends and suffering celestials, angels raped with their wings broken, lovely things like that. In one memorable scene, the immortal sufferer had his lower jaw torn off to render his tongue more accessible for demonic pleasures. Since in real life we are quite unlikely to run into immortal or perpetually regenerating play partners, this is the sort of thing that is very clearly on the fantasy side of the line. And there don't have to be hard limits in fantasy; the mind can imagine anything, and it's not going to put anyone in the ER as long as the people enjoying said fantasy are responsible adults and are playing safe in real life.
I'm not interested in mutilating my partner in real life, but it is fun to whisper evil threats in his ear that echo some of his most extreme fantasies. It is either ironic or utterly predictable that of my two partners, the one who is a high-tolerance heavy masochist in real life is *not* the one who has the extreme fantasy life. It's the one who for various reasons cannot be physically played with very hard at all who has utterly savage fantasies. So I'd say the majority of what I do to him is physically trifling - it's rare that I leave so much as a tiny mark on that one - but is much more about intense fear play and psychological play in the fantasy realm.
Real life practicality determines what some kinds of hard limits are about. Obviously the risky stuff that can damage you is going to make most people's hard limit list. Other hard limits are determined by what just doesn't turn you on. In a fantasy, you can ignore the first kind of hard limit and only pay attention to the second kind. In real life, the priorities are reversed.
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