lally2
Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009 Status: offline
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ping ponging emails back and forth a moment ago - this friend of mine and i are kinda working towards meeting up and ive asked to be spanked hard. he said he'd take me as far as i wanted to go and i replied by saying, take me further, take me to where i can start to focus again, where i can give in, stop pissing about, just relent and let go it might sound strange, but ive never asked for that before - i suppose ive never felt like this before, like im in some headlock with myself and i cant bloody get out of it. im being snarky on here (sorry) and a royal pain in the arse to people around me and people who care about me. whats new to me is that ive asked for it. ive never asked for it. its always been down to the Master im with to decide when and how but its so liberating - i know youre rolling youre eyes thinking blah blah - but its like for the first time ever ive taken charge of what i want and what i need. its a morph thats been growing slowly in me though. realising what i want from this rather than just going along with what im told i want, because frankly that was how i wanted it to be. i dont care that ive asked for this, that its ME asking something from a Dominant because im sick of the fog, im sick of pissing about and im sick of feeling grumpy .... and ive never played before - you know just hooked up and played for the shere fecking heck of it - actually yes i have, once. im not sure why im telling you all of this, im sure youre not interested in where im at with any of this one way or another - but for me its a change around that doesnt feel any less submissive for getting proactive, thats the odd bit. im getting what i want and need rather than just hanging on the hope that it might happen at some point. but also ive got a bit uppity recently - and ive just got fed up - ive tried to engage my submission recently and it just didnt happen - way too off track, way too resistant and bloodyminded - i need to have it taken from me, shaken, rocked and rattled - and by that i dont mean ill suddenly become all doe eyed and lovely - just that my head isnt in submission right now and yet i need it more than ever and this will clear out the demons banging around inside and set me straight. i dont have a question, but im hoping people would like to discuss this or share so i can sort it out more in my head
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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!
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