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shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 1:38:41 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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ping ponging emails back and forth a moment ago - this friend of mine and i are kinda working towards meeting up and ive asked to be spanked hard. he said he'd take me as far as i wanted to go and i replied by saying, take me further, take me to where i can start to focus again, where i can give in, stop pissing about, just relent and let go

it might sound strange, but ive never asked for that before - i suppose ive never felt like this before, like im in some headlock with myself and i cant bloody get out of it. im being snarky on here (sorry) and a royal pain in the arse to people around me and people who care about me.

whats new to me is that ive asked for it. ive never asked for it. its always been down to the Master im with to decide when and how

but its so liberating - i know youre rolling youre eyes thinking blah blah - but its like for the first time ever ive taken charge of what i want and what i need.

its a morph thats been growing slowly in me though. realising what i want from this rather than just going along with what im told i want, because frankly that was how i wanted it to be.

i dont care that ive asked for this, that its ME asking something from a Dominant because im sick of the fog, im sick of pissing about and im sick of feeling grumpy

.... and ive never played before - you know just hooked up and played for the shere fecking heck of it - actually yes i have, once.

im not sure why im telling you all of this, im sure youre not interested in where im at with any of this one way or another - but for me its a change around that doesnt feel any less submissive for getting proactive, thats the odd bit. im getting what i want and need rather than just hanging on the hope that it might happen at some point.

but also ive got a bit uppity recently - and ive just got fed up - ive tried to engage my submission recently and it just didnt happen - way too off track, way too resistant and bloodyminded - i need to have it taken from me, shaken, rocked and rattled - and by that i dont mean ill suddenly become all doe eyed and lovely - just that my head isnt in submission right now and yet i need it more than ever and this will clear out the demons banging around inside and set me straight.

i dont have a question, but im hoping people would like to discuss this or share so i can sort it out more in my head

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 2:49:49 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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That's actually not uncommon, for a spankee used to getting spanked n a regular basis, to feel "off" after a spankless period of too long. Think of your impending spanking as a recalibration.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 2:56:40 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

hello yummy

- ive never thought of myself as a spankee before

ive been mulling this over a bit.

for too long i had it in my head that it wasnt for me to ask, that in asking the Dominant to spank me he was serving my needs and that would have felt all wrong. but actually im thinking that what ive done is offer my need to a trusted friend to deal with because i know he'll take care of me.

i dont need to overthink this at all, just its a whole new approach ive discovered - recalibration works for me. thanks xxxxxxxxx smoochyhuggykisses

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 3:45:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Spring cleaning through spanking, but of the brain and not the closet.

But yes, most of us get progressively grumpier when we are deprived of play. Inside of a relationship you don't usually have to ask for it because you get enough to tide you over.

However although he may be dominant, he isn't your dominant and you aren't submissive to him. You're friends who are asking favors of each other and negotiating a good scene.

Enjoy.

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 3:51:44 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Spring cleaning through spanking, but of the brain and not the closet.

But yes, most of us get progressively grumpier when we are deprived of play. Inside of a relationship you don't usually have to ask for it because you get enough to tide you over.

However although he may be dominant, he isn't your dominant and you aren't submissive to him. You're friends who are asking favors of each other and negotiating a good scene.

Enjoy.

im hoping he may become so. but yes its new to me for that reason too. but i will be submitting my need to him and you know Des for some reason that feels so much more relevant to anything else ive done so far. before i submitted to my Masters needs, they were always his and mine by proxy, but i have never before submitted my needs to a man and asked him to take care of them.

he says that is far more erotic for him that i offer myself to him in this way - and ive just asked him what he means by that.

and i will, thanks

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/4/2010 7:26:12 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I've never played casually before but I have asked Master more than once to take me further, to just take me down to nothing but a heap of tears and mess when I felt I needed it to release other emotions I was feeling. Sometimes he indulges me, other times he realizes I need something other than that. I leave it up to him to decide what is best for me. I've never felt like it was out of place or anything like that. I think as long as you are asking and not telling then it is fine...unless you're just casually playing with someone as a bottom. Then imo it's fine to state what you want since you aren't being submissive to the person, you're just playing with sensations.

(in reply to lally2)

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/5/2010 1:54:52 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I've never played casually before but I have asked Master more than once to take me further, to just take me down to nothing but a heap of tears and mess when I felt I needed it to release other emotions I was feeling. Sometimes he indulges me, other times he realizes I need something other than that. I leave it up to him to decide what is best for me. I've never felt like it was out of place or anything like that. I think as long as you are asking and not telling then it is fine...unless you're just casually playing with someone as a bottom. Then imo it's fine to state what you want since you aren't being submissive to the person, you're just playing with sensations.

thanks littlewonder,

its the taking down i need. im so sick of these screwy feelings of unsubmissiveness and of fighting the thing i am. i dont really understand it but i think its all part of needing to be put back in my box where im happy but for it not to be punishment. ive never felt this need before and DesFip and Steven are right.

its a strange thing that im now faced with something ive never really got my head around in terms of submitting to play. i guess that is what this is but i think my head will see it as me submitting myself to him for play since ill be completely in his hands once it starts.

im starting to get a bit nervous but i need that too.

thanks for sharing, i appreciate it.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/5/2010 7:54:43 AM

Andalusite

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Joined: 1/25/2009
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I've found play to be cathartic at times - usually I haven't specifically asked for that, it just kind of happens, but I see nothing whatsoever wrong with letting him know what you want and need.

I have specifically negotiated to try a particular activity before, either in a class, or just playing. As long as *both* of you have a good time, I think it's perfectly reasonable.

(in reply to lally2)

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RE: shaked rattled and rolled - 4/5/2010 9:05:58 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I've found play to be cathartic at times - usually I haven't specifically asked for that, it just kind of happens, but I see nothing whatsoever wrong with letting him know what you want and need. I have specifically negotiated to try a particular activity before, either in a class, or just playing. As long as *both* of you have a good time, I think it's perfectly reasonable.

you guys are so together (i mean generally) why the hell its taken me this long to validate my own needs and ask for them i honestly cant think! - but i was really happy doing what i was doing and generally had my needs met just being sub. only recently its like 'nope i wont do as im told' - 'nope im not doing that!' - bizarre - i even toyed with the idea of having just changed so much it was time to move on - but it isnt that either.

its like im in my tower and surveying the World of Dom and thinking 'meh! - later dude'

maybe its just that i want it on my terms for a bit - who knows)) over thinking, return to housework - )))

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Andalusite)

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