What to do with my profile....

What to do with my profile.... (Full Version)

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Phoenix73Sir -> What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 2:52:17 PM)
My profile is poor at best. I am trying to write something that induces intrigue and interest but i seem to have failed. I am open to suggestions and came here as it is subs and slaves that i am trying to appeal to so who better to ask than the target audience. Any help or suggestions will be greatly appriciated (and yes, the profile pic is being changed on tuesday but taking suggestions on that too) Thank you to those of you who take the time to look and comment.

lally2 -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 2:58:05 PM)
i know this isnt relevant, i just had to say, you really come through as a total darling [:)] lll go and peek at youre profile now [8D] ok, peeked. i dont really see anything wrong with what youve put, youre honest and warm and that comes through. i think that youre 'lives for' Gorean is fishing in a fairly small pond, thats all, and for many, Gorean is a bit of a departure from what they think theyre looking for. since you 'live for' it you might want to expand on what that means to you and how that might impinge on any relationship since you admit that youve had no previous experience in owning a slave - i just felt, after reading youre profile that you have a slight gap between experience and where you wish a relationship to lead, allowing for the fact that Gorean is clearly going to be a factor. but thats just my thought and not necessarily correct [:D]

ourmsbetty -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:06:38 PM)
Not in the least bit submissive but as no one seems to have answered... 1) Be a little more open minded. If I restricted myself to a certain age range I would have missed two of the best people who have ever entered my life. 2) Maybe start with talking about your interests, both vanilla and kinky. 3) Cliches become cliches for a reason, the one I am thinking of here is "show, don't tell". Describe something, a scene, a fantasy, etc that illustrates the type of Dom you are. 4) Most submissives really don't want the daily details of their life planned. They are people and they want at least a little autonomy. Mind you some subs would love that but for some it will really be a turn off. Ask yourself, do you really need to plan every detail? The answer to that will tell you a lot about the type of girl you are looking for. 5) Don't talk about your ex, vanilla or not, it's just tacky. 6) Do talk and be honest about your experience but talk about what you did, what you liked about it and why. 7) Start slower. As you will hear time and again, kinky relationships are just like other relationships in that they are relationships. Yes, state your end goal but don't imply that you are expecting something permanent immediately. Be willing to put the time in getting to know someone. Less pressure will yield better results. 8) State what your definite ideas of what you want and what you expect from a sub or a slave, don't just say you have them. 9) Be flexible about said ideas, you are new and they are likely to change with experience. 10) Watch the typos. Hope that helps. Ms. Betty

ourmsbetty -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:07:44 PM)
Ok, well no one had answered when I started typing. Serves me right for being long winded. :)

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:08:33 PM)
Well after years of reading and a few hours of practical I am at the stage in my life where i want to jump in and just get on with it, but i want to make sure i do it the right way. The subs I have been with before I came across completely by accident so I have never really actively tried finding one on-line. I just want to give myself the best chance possible. it is only fair to her aswell. EDIT: Whoops! Gorean? I didn't even realise I had selected that in any way!! must change that! lol thanks for the heads up!

kanina -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:21:02 PM)
i would suggest you to start with friendship, a guy who comes to me wanting sex imediatly will be a turn off for me at least...

dreamerdreaming -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:33:16 PM)
The interests you list are almost entirely to do with BDSM. WTF? Who are you, really? [8\|] Your profile text is no help, either. You did put up a better picture though, so that's something.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:38:56 PM)
A lot of very good points. many things to take into concideration and my list I am intending to reduce as they are still the ones I selected when initially joining the site and didnt realise what those drop-downs acxtually did. I am going to begin the re-write shortly but will postpone posting it untill i have had a few more opinions on the old one (hell I might just post it in here first to be disected, liquidised and recombobulated first lol)

DesFIP -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:41:27 PM)
Talking trash about your ex is always a bad thing. It says that if you break up with someone else, she can expect you to call her all kinds of names the next time you're hunting. Smart women avoid this. And what's with the age limit of only those who presumably are very new? Seeking much younger women gets you looked at askance. Does that mean you are emotionally much younger than your years? Because most people seek a person, not a laundry list. Why aren't you open to meeting someone who is at the same stage of life as you are? But most of all, there is no sense of you. What are you passionate about? What do you like to do on a Saturday morning? You claim to be looking for 24/7, which means a life partner. And most people spend more time watching tv than having sex. So you had better like the person you're with as a person. In order to do that, they need to know who you are. Your profile gives no impression of you. Most importantly is that you don't want to be targeting this towards people because if you write a profile that represents someone you aren't, then eventually you will have to lower the mask and they will rightfully feel lied to.

lally2 -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:53:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir .EDIT: Whoops! Gorean? I didn't even realise I had selected that in any way!! must change that! lol thanks for the heads up! [:D] you goofball ...lol - well, you might get a few more responses now.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 3:55:19 PM)
the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated. Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember. I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want! Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end.

ourmsbetty -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 4:00:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated. Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember. I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want! Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end. Ok, tip from one Dominant to another... Your biggest asset is always going to be confidence. Insecurities tend to say that you lack that confidence. They sort of give the impression you don't have a handle on yourself. And if you can't handle yourself how are you going to handle someone else?

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 4:06:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated. Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember. I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want! Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end. Ok, tip from one Dominant to another... Your biggest asset is always going to be confidence. Insecurities tend to say that you lack that confidence. They sort of give the impression you don't have a handle on yourself. And if you can't handle yourself how are you going to handle someone else? No argument there. merely a point. if I know that I am slightly intimidated by an older persons additional life experience why ould I allow myself to be in a position to be intimidated.. I am much more confident with younger people.. all of my friends (with the exception of 2) who are female are also younger than me and I suffer no confidence issue. Add to that the fact that I like woomen younger than myself. of cours all i say is open to debate. I am here to learn just as much as to search.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 4:47:40 PM)
Wow.. just written version 2 (not yet posted) and it seems I have gone from lack of information to information overload.. Still editing it but I'm now really not sure.

Phoenix73Sir -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/4/2010 8:11:50 PM)
Damn! the edit button dissapeared on my last post and I hate double (or in this case triple) posting. poor forum etiquette FTL. But thanks to all fo you how have given me feedback and a huge thanks to Lally2 I now have a new profile that i am actually quite proud of and i feel tells enough about me but leaves enough to provide mystique. Thank you all for the time you have given me. I sincerely appreciate it.

myotherself -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/5/2010 1:40:07 AM)
just peeked at your profile....I like it! You come across as being a nice guy who knows what he wants. If you are your profile, the girl who gets you will be very lucky [:D]

dreamerdreaming -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/5/2010 1:53:37 AM)
Much better. [:)]

nephandi -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (4/5/2010 1:54:31 AM)
Greetings I like the profile you have now. It is not to long but not to short either and it get to the point of what you want while at the same time telling us about your vanilla life as well. It is very good. I even like the yellow background. If I was to say anything negative about it it would be that I am not to crazy about the double empty lines between some of the paragraphs, one line do nicely, and if you want to separate between various sections in your profile then just adding a -------------- or something like that I think look better than double empty lines. But that might just be me. Anyway I like your profile. Good luck with it. I wish you well

kateindenver -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (5/13/2010 6:55:56 PM)
my name is kate. When writting a profile i try to explain what i seek. i am always honest and speak from the heart. i let them know what i seek and what i need to learn. i never state that stupid line that i am a no limits slave. i relate my experiences and then i ask them questions about their experiences . i always tell then tnat i prefer to tslk on the phone for a while as i can get a better feel as to our likes ect. When i meet for coffee i nmkae it perrfectyly clear that i will not go into their car with tyhem nor do ever play on a first meet. i always like to meet for coffee asnd then go home and email them how i feel our first meet went

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: What to do with my profile.... (5/13/2010 7:25:29 PM)
I didn't see the original, so i'm just going to say - looks good to me. You sound like someone I could hang out with and enjoy being around. As for the age, I understand the point of what the previous poster was getting at, but don't worry too much about having an age preference. I do. I used to get (before I hid my profile) lots of mail from younger guys. I have NO interest in younger guys. You feel the way you do about older women, and that's cool. Nothing wrong in knowing what you want and what works for you. Happy hunting!

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