Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

how to stand out


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> how to stand out Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
how to stand out - 4/3/2006 12:51:16 PM   
frodow


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm currently talking to a mistress with several subs. I want to know how to standout from the others and make her happy. It is hard to think of something because whatever I can do another can also do the same. For example if I can massage her a sub can do that, if I can clean her house a sub can also do that, if I want to shave her legs another sub can also do that. I will really appreciate inputs from other mistreses.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 12:56:25 PM   
MadameShy


Posts: 31
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline 		I own more then one and each has a talent that I cherish so each I love in My own way..

but the ones that I give more attention too are the ones that listen to my every word ... jump when I have a want before I can even say it ... remember favorite things like how I take My tea or how I like My toast buttered the ones that study Me and make themselves a expert on what I like .. how I like things done...

I hate to repeat Myself so a good listening slave is the best in My book...

also the one that can do this and has a personality is just that more special ....one to laugh with also... not a silent little lamb but a cocky but respectful slave..


(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 12:57:15 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		be yourself frodow....as genuine and open as you can be; and for Me courtesy is huge as well as the ability to chat articulately about all manner of subjects both in a out of the lifestyle. After all I can train a slave to shave My legs, I can NOT make him/her develop a brain. Good luck with your journey.

(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 1:24:22 PM   
MsSophie


Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline 		If you want to stand out, do something most don't;
- be absolutely honest.
- genuinely put her needs above your own.
- pay attention to the smallest details, like how she likes the smaller things in life

And above all of these, let her know that no matter what the future brings you want to stand by her side.

Good luck!

Sophie

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 1:49:53 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For me, it's proactive service. If I ask you to feed my cats while I'm away, it'd speak volumes to me if I came home to well feed cats, clean litterboxes, a clean house and flowers. All I asked for, techinically, was for you to feed the cats. The rest has shown me your initiative and desire to please.

Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 1:53:19 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I had to take a look at your profile, in which you freely state that you are not into 24/7 and more into role playing the "submissive thing".
If you are corresponding with a Domme who seems to meet your specific requirements, you may be alright.
 
quote:

I'm new to this but I don't consider myself to be in this life stlye 24/7. I'm more of a role playing type. If you want to know more send me an email.
The type of doms I would like to meet are muscular mistress(not manly looking) like mistress treasure or big solid women  like Amazon skytriss. You don't have to be as tall as she is but its a plus not a must if you are. Google  these two ladies up if you want to see their appearance.
I'm  a black male standing at about 5'10 160lbs. I will send pic upon request.
Oh one more thing before I leave, just because you are a dom doesn't give you the previlage for my submission. My trust has to be earned. I rather have no dom then a bad one who doesn't respect me as her loving sub. I don't care the ratio of dom to subs . I believe it is like 20 subs for 1 dom. All have to say is I won't settle for less.


But for Me it is attitude.  I am not sure you have the attitude that would make you stand out for Me. Or maybe you are just not expressing yourself properly in your profile.  I personally don't see a "loving sub" as one who wants to role play at submission. Submission is a personal thing, and I would not expect you to submit to Me just because I tell you I am a Domina.  I would expect courtesy and respect, and would offer you the same, were we in a correspondence.   
On the one hand you say you will not settle for less.  On the other hand, I get the impression you are expecting a Domina to settle for what you are willing to offer which may equate to her settling for less.
Good luck and welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 3:16:45 PM   
frodow


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm fiarly new to this scene I guess I didn't express myself correctly. Do you think I'm to narrow on the type of dom I'm searching for?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 3:34:05 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		Pay attention to detail. As Masterfiremadam said if given a task to handle someone for your mistress pay attention to the details and do the best job you can. If you appear selfish and only in it for what you need then that is a huge mistake.   Make yourself available to make her life easier. Offer to wash her car, clean her house, anything you can do to prove yourself and put you in her presence. Do this without conditions because if you don’t someone else will. Let her see how you act, how you handle yourself and watch your manners.   When slaves are in my presence it may seem as if I am aloof and not paying attention but I am. In fact I will purposely set up crazy task and things that seem silly just to test them. I’ve been doing this a very long time and can easily spot the signs of a good slave.   Learn how to prepare at least 2 meals perfectly then sit at her feet and serve her. If you do this correctly it will win her over for sure!   There are lots of things I could write but the most important is paying attention to every little detail.    

_____________________________



(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 3:49:37 PM   
MsDominiquenz


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		All of the above and add consistancy.
I love it when I see a general willingness to listen, learn and apply to please, and that is consistant.
If a sub/slave tends to 'drop off ' with attention, or has a tendancy to be eratic, I do wonder why, and deal with it.
My training sessions are intense but cover all the basics. I like to see that put into practice with some effort, and see the subby grow from there.



_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 4:39:17 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frodow

I'm fiarly new to this scene I guess I didn't express myself correctly. Do you think I'm to narrow on the type of dom I'm searching for?


Its not a matter of too narrow if one accepts that each new condition or limit or preference will narrow down the field of potentials.

I think it is better to be a bit flexible, have a list of things you need, things you want, things you could do, and then your limits. Note the plural here: more than one option.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how to stand out - 4/3/2006 10:10:31 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frodow

I'm fiarly new to this scene I guess I didn't express myself correctly. Do you think I'm to narrow on the type of dom I'm searching for?


You have the right to search for and choose whomever and whatever you want.  Maybe you'll find the total package, and maybe you won't.  Several ways and means to impress a Domina and make yourself stand out have been offered here.  And perhaps there will be some additional posts.  Reread this entire thread.  You have been given some excellent advice. 
Now it is up to you to take what has been shared and think carefully about your willingness to submit to a Lady.  Is this a part time role playing gig for you?  Only you can figure that out. 
The ball is in your court. 

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how to stand out - 4/4/2006 5:23:18 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		A sub that wants to stand out makes me nervous quite honestly, I dont appreciate show boating, I dont want the boy to feel threatened by the "competition" and I dont like the veiled inference that he might be thinking he is more special and or deserves more attention then any of my other boys.
 
I am sure you think you are "just trying to be the best sub you can be" but I am not reading it that way, you might want to consider why you want to make/influence Her decisions of who she favors best, for Her.
 
You need to trust Her to notice who you are, and trust yourself that you are already a unique addition to Her life. That trust, and that surrender is the heart of your submission...and will ultimately make you quite a stand out.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how to stand out - 4/4/2006 11:22:08 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Although I agree that "showboating" can be annoying, and, in My mind, doesn't really prove anything, I disagree that "standing out" , or being outstanding, is a bad thing.
As I already said, and many Ladies have given specific examples, the attitude and going above and beyond, will show a Lady that the boy is sincere about his service and enjoys that service for its own sake. Too many hurry through a task, taking a command literally, and doing just that and only that so they can get to their expected reward.  There is a fine line and a boy could go too far, but that is where some common sense comes in. 
I told john to wash My car.  That was it.  No other instructions.  He could have just washed the outside of the car, but he took the extra time and initiative to open the doors and clean out the inside also, including a thorough vacuuming. 
Sometimes I will give a more general directive just to see if the boy will go the extra mile, or only do the minimum.  And I don't mind if he asks a question concerning a preference for something extra.  I am guessing there are other Ladies who do the same. 
It's all in the attitude.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how to stand out - 4/4/2006 11:29:15 AM   
lushusboobs


Posts: 83
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		-treat her like a person and not someone there to fulfill your needs
-speak to her intelligently about more than just sexual subjects
-stimulate her mind first
-never use the word dominate as an adjective (my own pet peeve)


_____________________________

http://360.yahoo.com/lushusboobs
You'd look pretty in my panties...

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how to stand out - 4/4/2006 12:10:39 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		This may sound odd but another good way to stand out is to be careful with your hygiene and how you are dressed. If you put time and effort into looking and smelling good, you will stand out.

Of course, this really only works face to face but it helps at munches and the like.

Dress appropriately for the venue of the meeting. If its a family restuarant leave your "Fuck Me" t-shirt and fetish garb at home. If its a fetish event, wear something fetishy like leather pants. If its more formal setting then get a suit or at least a nice shirt, slacks and a tie.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how to stand out - 4/4/2006 3:30:07 PM   
Your Queen


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		My best advice to subs is don't try to stand out in an artificial or gimmicky way, be genuine always.
Don't be insulted when I say that the best role models of submissive behaviour are well trained and happy dogs -  I would walk around the world and swim through an ocean of molasses for my loyal companion.
He's always there for me, no matter what.
If I ask him to do nothing, he does nothing.
If I ask him to do something, he does what I ask, but no more than that.
He observes me and he's always in tune with my mood.
He isn't cowed - he's a proud submissive, not afraid to express himself, but he's always respectful towards those who have earned his respect.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how to stand out - 4/5/2006 1:37:52 AM   
SonofErin


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameShy

I own more then one and each has a talent that I cherish so each I love in My own way..

but the ones that I give more attention too are the ones that listen to my every word ... jump when I have a want before I can even say it ... remember favorite things like how I take My tea or how I like My toast buttered the ones that study Me and make themselves a expert on what I like .. how I like things done...

I hate to repeat Myself so a good listening slave is the best in My book...

also the one that can do this and has a personality is just that more special ....one to laugh with also... not a silent little lamb but a cocky but respectful slave..




Jeez if that slave is both deaf and dumb but respectful what chance has that slave in life?
Unable to listen and show some cockiness...do you know sign language Madame Shy?

< Message edited by SonofErin -- 4/5/2006 1:39:35 AM >

(in reply to MadameShy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how to stand out - 4/5/2006 1:44:15 AM   
SonofErin


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lushusboobs

-treat her like a person and not someone there to fulfill your needs
-speak to her intelligently about more than just sexual subjects
-stimulate her mind first
-never use the word dominate as an adjective (my own pet peeve)



Jeez another Mistress needing lessons in sign language.
Deaf and dumb slaves could have a useful function in life if you knew hown to sign as well as use the spoken word .

(in reply to lushusboobs)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how to stand out - 4/5/2006 4:35:01 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Learn to anticipate what she might need. If you are wrong, the fact that you tried will matter and the fact that you learn from your mistakes will be useful.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to frodow)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how to stand out - 4/5/2006 4:44:35 AM   
MadameShy


Posts: 31
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SonofErin

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameShy

I own more then one and each has a talent that I cherish so each I love in My own way..

but the ones that I give more attention too are the ones that listen to my every word ... jump when I have a want before I can even say it ... remember favorite things like how I take My tea or how I like My toast buttered the ones that study Me and make themselves a expert on what I like .. how I like things done...

I hate to repeat Myself so a good listening slave is the best in My book...

also the one that can do this and has a personality is just that more special ....one to laugh with also... not a silent little lamb but a cocky but respectful slave..




Jeez if that slave is both deaf and dumb but respectful what chance has that slave in life?
Unable to listen and show some cockiness...do you know sign language Madame Shy?


not a chance in hell with Me  .... its My personal Preferace the boy asked My opinion ... and to be honest ...so I was ....

I  would not own a Deaf nor a Dumb slave ... sorry ...

(in reply to SonofErin)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> how to stand out Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094