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Feminization - 4/7/2010 3:46:46 PM

Made2Obey

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I have been on this site for a while now and it seems as though the only Dommes who regularly practice the feminization of males are pro-Dommes who expect to be paid for doing so and are only interested in hourly sessions. Can anyone tell me why that is? For many years I've heard stories of women who really enjoy the process of emasculating and feminizing males and then having them serves as domestics. Yet I seem to never actually come across that type. It's something of a puzzle.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 3:52:42 PM

Smutmonger

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Not a Domme,but have talked to quite a few about this. It's because they see you as a fetishsist-not a submissive. There is a stereotype of fetishists as self serving men who take and give little or nothing in return. That's why they end up paying.

You pay with devotion and service her way-or with cash.

Those ARE the options.

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Post #: 2

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 3:57:10 PM

PeonForHer

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There are lots of threads on this subject, Made2Obey. It's worth doing a search and reading through some of them.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 3:58:08 PM

Made2Obey

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Joined: 8/21/2008
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Smutmonger

Thanks for the reply, and I can see your point, but anyone with any experience in business will tell you that power always flows from the one with the money. So it seems totally counter-intuitive to pay to be dominated. It just inverts the entire flow of power.

(in reply to Smutmonger)

Post #: 4

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 4:09:58 PM

PeonForHer

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I completely see that point, M2O, but as you'll learn after you've done that search I mentioned, against that point is the plain old economic argument of supply and demand. There are lots more men into being feminised than women who want to do such feminising of them.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 4:23:59 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You pay with devotion and service her way-or with cash.

If I gave out points this would win many, for articulacy, brevity and clarity.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 4:34:12 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I completely see that point, M2O, but as you'll learn after you've done that search I mentioned, against that point is the plain old economic argument of supply and demand. There are lots more men into being feminised than women who want to do such feminising of them.

Precisely.

The feminization fetish isn't as popular as some would like to believe. This creates an automatic market. The very same thing happens with other fetishes that not as many people are willing to engage in. That's why some activities are able to procure a higher price paid by clients.

You will find that there is also a portion of Dommes who are only willing to participate in feminization if it is with their own submissive within an established dynamic. This actually reduces the number of persons who you may be able to find.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 4:56:02 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Made2Obey

I have been on this site for a while now and it seems as though the only Dommes who regularly practice the feminization of males are pro-Dommes who expect to be paid for doing so and are only interested in hourly sessions. Can anyone tell me why that is?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It's because they see you as a fetishsist-not a submissive. There is a stereotype of fetishists as self serving men who take and give little or nothing in return. That's why they end up paying.

You pay with devotion and service her way-or with cash.

Those ARE the options.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Made2Obey

Smutmonger

Thanks for the reply, and I can see your point, but anyone with any experience in business will tell you that power always flows from the one with the money. So it seems totally counter-intuitive to pay to be dominated. It just inverts the entire flow of power.

Re-read Smutmonger's post until you fully understand the words he has written. Domination is not about catering to a bottom's kink.

If you want YOUR kink catered to, you will need to pay for it, or find a Service Top who likes you enough to humor you.

If you want domination, you need to lose the self-focus.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 5:23:54 PM

PeonForHer

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CDs seem to form relationships that work with (some) femdoms only if they can arrange to be human and vanilla in the way they relate to such femdoms, then submissive to them, then cross-dressers with them, very much in that order.

Not an easy achievement, to rearrange a mindset that is overly kink-oriented, no doubt; but it can and has been done. There are good examples of thriving femdom/CD-submale relationships to evidence that fact.

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Post #: 9

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 5:29:40 PM

SweetDommes

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The problem with most of the stories out there about feminization is that they are 100% fantasy and 100% fiction. For every story out there, written by someone who has actually found someone to feminize him, there are 50 written by guys who want it but haven't gotten it, and/or think that's what Dommes should want ... *shrugs* that's just not realistic. Most Dommes that I know either want a male, or they want a female - if they want a female, they aren't going to get a male and feminize him, they'll go straight for the femsubs.

I think you'll find that what Peon and Smutmonger have said is very true and very accurate. If you are looking for someone to feminize you, you will have trouble with that. If you are looking for someone to act out the stories that you have read, you will have even more trouble with it. However, if you are looking for someone who will accept that you have a feminine side that you want to explore/expand while you serve her - you'll have a lot more luck.

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RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 5:35:32 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

However, if you are looking for someone who will accept that you have a feminine side that you want to explore/expand while you serve her - you'll have a lot more luck.

That's a good way to put it. I can imagine Otters beaming at your words, SD.

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Post #: 11

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 5:56:43 PM

SweetDommes

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He was in my mind as I wrote that, actually

Him and somethingXclever are prime examples of guys who have it right (even if sXc doesn't have a Domme yet - he has the right idea to find one that fits him properly).

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Post #: 12

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:01:01 PM

Lockit

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Not a Domme,but have talked to quite a few about this. It's because they see you as a fetishsist-not a submissive. There is a stereotype of fetishists as self serving men who take and give little or nothing in return. That's why they end up paying.

You pay with devotion and service her way-or with cash.

Those ARE the options.

I guess I will be the odd woman out here. I do not believe it is a stereotype that fetishist are self centered. I believe it is the truth that most focus on their fetish more than they focus on anyone or most other things. It is what motivates them. A stereotype would be untrue and from what I have seen and experienced, it is true that most with a fetish places that fetish above most other things.

Whether they are submissive or not and to what degree they are submissive really depend on the person. I am not saying that everyone with a fetish is self/fetish focused above all other things, but the majority are in my opinion. Submission is often something they will try to do to get their fetish needs met.

One cannot serve a fetish and a dominant as a submissive if the fetish comes first, with most dominant's. Those that can place a dominant before a fetish, could very well be submissive and they are typically the one's that can find a dominant.

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Post #: 13

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:08:54 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Made2Obey
For many years I've heard stories of women who really enjoy the process of emasculating and feminizing males and then having them serves as domestics. Yet I seem to never actually come across that type. It's something of a puzzle.

That's because those stories are told by male fetishists who are using the women in their stories as props for their own sexual fantasies that cater to them and focus on them. When real live non pro dominant women are actually involved, they may well enjoy assorted kinks including feminization, but the focus of attention is likely to be on them and on the *relationship* they have with the person they are sharing this fetish with. No relationship = no interest in doing intimate kinky stuff with a stranger who just wants to get his fantasy rocks off.

Get to know dominants as people first, develop your social skills, nurture an actual interpersonal relationship, and then they'll be willing and interested to share kinky energy with you. Fail to do that, and demand instead that they should cater to your fetish because they like the fetish, and you'll be playing by yourself unless you hire a pro. Even a woman who likes a specific fetish, or who likes sex, is NOT automatically going to want it with someone she doesn't know and like and feel attracted to. The key here is the person, not the kink. Be the person that she wants to spend time with and exchange kinky energy with, and you'll get a whole lot more play.

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Post #: 14

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:13:58 PM

Andalusite

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Made2Obey, there are some links to threads on feminisation in the FAQ: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057130/tm.htm which you might find helpful. The stories you've read are porn written by men, for men, without any connection whatsoever to Dommes' actual desires and approaches in this area. I have occasionally feminised men I've dated before, and still occasionally help some of my gay friends by loaning them clothes or helping them choose outfits from what they already have, and doing hair/nails/makeup/etc., since my Master doesn't mind. My female submissive playpartner and I are planning to have me forcibly feminise her as a joke on this at the next big playparty we attend. When I have played with this particular area, it was on *my* terms, with people who had what I felt was a healthy, compatible attitude toward it. Helping someone embrace their feminine side, picking out the right colors for them, and so forth is fun, calling them a slut or a pantyboy or something like that is boring and annoying and not my style.

You're correct that if you're paying someone to do/have you do exactly what you want them to, they probably aren't genuinely dominating you, nor are you actually submitting, most likely. I'm a strictly non-pro lifestyle type of lady, and was very offended when someone offered me money to cyber-dominate him back when I was dating/looking.

SweetDommes, I agree, and Solange also has a wonderful approach/attitude about it.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/7/2010 6:17:25 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:27:27 PM

SweetDommes

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I knew there were others, but could not, for the life of me, remember any other names LOL I guess it's because sXc is my friend off the site, and Otter is so visible on the boards that they are the two I always think of

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Post #: 16

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:38:11 PM

somethingXclever

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Joined: 11/15/2007
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first off obligatory *facepalm* please look through at least the 1st 3 or 4 pages before you post something because this topic is constantly in the first few pages

secondly, if D/s fantasy erotica was representative of the real world then every female boss you ever had would have locked you in a chastity device and made you her sex slave, and every relationship you ever had would revolve around being a foot/ass/[insert fetish here] worship slave, but seeing as that isn't reality its easy to see why just because theres a lot of erotica about something doesn't mean it's something a lot of Dommes actually want to do. (and i'm not hating on your kink, trust me, i enjoy some "forced fem" play and just general feminization and cross dressing a lot but you have to realize it's not as popular with Dommes. such is life)

and lastly, thanks SweetDommes, i know fem play isn't your thing but i'm glad that You approve of my attitude about the subject, and hopefully someday i will find someone who accepts me, even if They don't want some of my kinks to be a part of the bedroom, as long as they respect that it's a part of who i am and don't try to change me i'd be happy :)

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Post #: 17

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:39:48 PM

Andalusite

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sXc, *that* is the best attitude for any submissive to have, from my perspective, regardless of what their interests are.

SweetDommes, I was just adding to the list. I'm sure there are a few others as well, and I know there are a couple on the "other side" who don't post here in the forums.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/7/2010 6:41:14 PM >

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Post #: 18

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:45:01 PM

somethingXclever

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Well thank You much Andalusite, it's always how i've felt about it. if i was interested in my kinks always being fulfilled i'd be a Dom, but i love to serve, and make others happy :)

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Post #: 19

RE: Feminization - 4/7/2010 6:46:41 PM

SweetDommes

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I know - like I said, those are just the two who always come to mind for me.

And even if I'm not a particular fan of feminization (forced or otherwise) that doesn't stop me from being friends with them and encouraging them.

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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Post #: 20

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