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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 4:50:35 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

All I have is a shitty futon... and no cat

I am so screwed


No you aren't, just get one of those sofa frames for futons and a cat and you're all set!


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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 5:19:21 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Your basic premise is a comparison of wants and needs between individuals in the dynamic. However, There is the wants and needs of the relationship itself. The collective vrs the individual!

As an individual.. I will and do make scarifices and compromises. But it's not for the benefit of one individual.. It's for the benefit of the relationship as a whole.

As far as the couch example you use. My first thought is... what is the best for the relationship! That would be my focus...

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:05:07 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

All I have is a shitty futon... and no cat

I am so screwed


Have you at least gotten yourself a spice rack?

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:07:13 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not yet..... but I started to clean my kitchen!


I am so not gay. it is sometimes depressing

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:22:21 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have a spice rack either. It makes me sad to know that what spices I have are in no particular order.

Back on point.

So many things in a relationship really don't matter ...Whether it's the couch or dinner. You pretty much know what are the pivotal items.

While dc might actually care about the color of his couch or someone might have very strong feelings about particular topics then it is kind of a no brainer that their feelings should probably carry the day.

There is nothing wrong with a little harmony to go with your head.

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:32:35 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		In D/s-the Dominant party often decides they want to live in a certain manner-and will just stay alone if they don't find someone who agrees.

Whereas nillas seem to make an art of settling.

A lot of subs don't want someone who will settle-they just don't want a rigid nutcase.

< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 4/10/2010 6:33:24 PM >

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:33:29 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I don't have a spice rack either. It makes me sad to know that what spices I have are in no particular order.


Well, now I know what to get for your hop-bonding ceremony.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 6:51:21 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		We will treasure it. Every time we argue over paprika or rosemary, we will think of you

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:04:45 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

We will treasure it. Every time we argue over paprika or rosemary, we will think of you


I say we nail'em both and make them eat each other out. I think we should draw straws to see who has to tell Paprika that her breath has been a little "off" of late.

It's so uncomfortable to be the bearer of bad news.


I once had to tell the kid across the street that his parents had died in a plane crash....I decided to take him to Six Flags.

We were on the roller coaster making our initial climb up to the top when I chose to break the news to him...."Hey Timmy, your parents are dead....Down we go. Wheeeee!!!!!"

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:10:55 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

All I have is a shitty futon... and no cat

I am so screwed


now that is sad.

here darling...




Attachment (1)

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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:14:10 PM   
sweetboundesire


Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		relating D/s to a couch...

that is like relating the school yard bully to a serial killer.

i made many sacrifices in my marriage that were not worth it.

a sacrifice should have balance.

even in a power exchange, the s should be finding her needs fulfilled in her "place" just as the D has his. There is mutual respect and a heavy dose of trust.

there is no balance...yet there is....the beauty of a proper and healthy D/s.

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and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to KNelson)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:36:24 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Actually witnessed this exchange at a party tonight....

*Husband picks up bowl of leftover chips, dumps chips into Ziploc bag and zips it closed*

Wife: "Not like THAT!!! They'll go stale!! You need to let the air out first!!"

*Wife unzips bag of chips, pushes out air, re-zips up bag*

Wife: "THERE!!!"



_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to sweetboundesire)
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RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:40:50 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Actually witnessed this exchange at a party tonight....

*Husband picks up bowl of leftover chips, dumps chips into Ziploc bag and zips it closed*

Wife: "Not like THAT!!! They'll go stale!! You need to let the air out first!!"

*Wife unzips bag of chips, pushes out air, re-zips up bag*

Wife: "THERE!!!"





Then he grabed her buy the hair, slapped her face twice, and told her it is only goddamn chips you cunt!.

right?

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:45:18 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Riiiiiight. No, last i saw he was headed towards the booze.

Now in my world.........

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:52:53 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		In your world the most you might have done is opened the bag, squeezed out the air and resealed it.......... without comment...:)

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:55:44 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		In my world, i would have picked up the bag exactly the way he sealed it and put it away in the pantry, and then given him a kiss.

The Man survived 40+ years storing leftover chips the way he wants - do i really need to point out that he's "doing it wrong?" Seriously, they're his chips anyway.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 7:57:27 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Marry Me!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 8:09:15 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Hoo boy.

ETA: Wouldn't Domi have issues with this? And where's June?



< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 4/10/2010 8:10:10 PM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 8:43:16 PM   
sweetboundesire


Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		...he loved her for the way she never criticized the way he handled a bag of chips! lol

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sacrifice and compromise - 4/10/2010 9:30:58 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Actually witnessed this exchange at a party tonight....

*Husband picks up bowl of leftover chips, dumps chips into Ziploc bag and zips it closed*

Wife: "Not like THAT!!! They'll go stale!! You need to let the air out first!!"

*Wife unzips bag of chips, pushes out air, re-zips up bag*

Wife: "THERE!!!"



And yet... despite the shocked horror of the collarme crowd, there they are, husband and wife. And statistically speaking (despite pop culture myth), they are probably pretty happy.

The truly funny thing is that I could easily see Carol as my slave doing the exact same thing. And you know what? I don't give a damn how the chips are stored and if they're going to be fresher tomorrow, then great. I doubt I would've even noticed that interchange. And if she had a tone of smug superiority in her voice over her chip storage skills... well they probably ARE better than mine so really it's quite reasonable.

Really seriously, I've got way bigger fish to fry than a bag of chips in a ziploc.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 40
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