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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/10/2010 8:15:06 PM

slvemike4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

Now come on Lady Angelika....i could probably avoid freaking out Your mom...as long as we kept the exposure to a short,very short time frame ;-)

Gosh, she's actually pretty easy going. She just has these really strong boundaries when it comes to sharing personal information. I get that from her too. I can be a little more open here because of the anonymity as well as having also seen benefits of discussion of taboo topics.

- LA

Given all of that we can thann assume she wouldn't freak me out eh?

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/10/2010 9:40:25 PM

LadyOddsworth

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My Mother wanted nothing more than to stay home and raise the children. Life didn't deal her that hand. She ended up being the primary bread winner and Dad was out of work most of the time.. My childhood memories include my Father in an apron cooking dinner... he was a much better cook than Mom.

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/10/2010 9:44:06 PM

LadyAngelika

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Thank you for sharing LadyOddsworth. If you don't mind sharing a little more, in the spirit of the OP, has that influenced you at all? Have you had a conversation about this with your mother?

- LA

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 7:13:08 AM

LaTigresse

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I did want to add, the one thing that both of my parents taught me........love.

For all of my parents faults (my father is a sadly weak man and an alchoholic), the one thing I can say for both of them. Our home was a haven. There was very little melodrama, almost no fighting (except the normal kid stuff), and zero abusive behaviour. As a child, it was a safe, happy place and full of love. Hugs, kisses and cuddles were in abundance. We were very VERY poor materially, but rich in love.

They were one of the most poorly matched couples I have ever seen. They did a fabulous job of making one another miserable in so many ways. I think my father's career (construction) that kept him away so much and his style of drinking, made it possible for them to stay together for so long. He chose to ignore my mother's issues and cheating while she hid it from her children quite well. Only in retrospect is it glaringly obvious. I even found out, not that many years ago, that one of my sisters is a result of my mother's male 'friends'. My father always knew, and now it is obvious in physical appearance, yet the way in which he loved and parented my sister, as though biologically his, is an amazing lesson in unconditional love of parent to child.

Whatever their faults, I am very thankful for the lessons of love they've both taught me.

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 9:37:25 AM

Lashra

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My mother is the polar opposite, she is a typical 1950's housewife well to a degree. She thinks women should stay home, clean house, take care of the husband and the kids. She is very biased against women and has rigid gender roles. A male nurse to her signifies he is automatically "gay", female police officers are "the pussy patrol" who are pretending to be men.
He (the husband)should make all the decisions (as long as they go her way or he gets cussed out), he should make all the money (and she spend it her way or he gets cussed out). If for some reason a man can't work, he no longer has any value and should be left immediately!!

I do not share a single view with my mother in fact we are like oil and water, we just do not mix. The only reason I have anything to do with her is because my father is a stroke victim and cannot care for himself. So I go over a few days a week to take care of him and help her out and listen to how miserable her life is with this "broken damn man who won't just die". So much for the idyllic 1950's.

I am dominant because it is my nature and I have NO desire whatsoever to be submissive to anyone.

~Lashra

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 3:43:45 PM

trueshadow

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Well, I think what the OP's mom was talking about is just general assertiveness. I think most parents want their child to be assertive and not get walked all over. This includes relationships with partners, with the bank, with the government, with friends, and so on. I would be upset if someone I cared about was being taken advantage of. I've seen it in my family, and I will do whatever I can to stop it.

OTOH, I'm quite a submissive man, and I live to serve a dominant woman. I will fight with the bank to reverse a wrong charge, and I will go toe-to-toe with some idiot from the mega-business, but I will melt when I meet a dominant woman whom I could see serving.

So, I think the OP is reading a bit too much into what mom is saying.

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 3:48:56 PM

trueshadow

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

My mother is the polar opposite, she is a typical 1950's housewife well to a degree. She thinks women should stay home, clean house, take care of the husband and the kids. She is very biased against women and has rigid gender roles. A male nurse to her signifies he is automatically "gay"...

~Lashra

I just had to comment on this last. I've had male nurses and female nurses. I've been very, very happy with both. I was getting some familiarity with the medical community a while back, and I have never seen so many male nurses. I generally like them very much. OTOH, the latest nurse I had is such a sweet young thing, competent (which is all you should really be concerned with), and so nice. Besides, she is very attractive as well.

But, I see no real difference in terms of skill sets, and have been fortunate not to have any bad nurses of late.

I did find the post amusing; I suppose I might not if she were my mother.

My mother was very bright, was a nurse and a hundred other things, successful at everything. She had a graduate degree and yet was modest and intelligent and nice about most things. And, she tolerated her sometimes clueless kids!

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 4:06:44 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

I think most parents want their child to be assertive and not get walked all over.

Not true. Not all parents are altruistic. Read through some of the posts here.

quote:

So, I think the OP is reading a bit too much into what mom is saying.

That's a mighty huge assumption. Actually I'm not. I said for what it is and found it to be an interesting tidbit about women and conversations they might have with their mothers about power dynamics. So far, except for a few thread derails, such as one to discuss the merits of male nurses, the thread has pretty much gone well in that direction.

- LA

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/11/2010 5:45:37 PM

slvemike4u

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I find the OP does a pretty good job of understanding and "reading" the meaning of a thing....both on the surface and most of the shit underneath what has been put forth.
Of course I could be "misreading" all of this and perhaps she's just a loon....not the feeling I get though.

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RE: Apparently, my mother raised me to be a dominant woman - 4/12/2010 10:18:32 PM

AlexandraLynch

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I spent my twenties examining all my parents taught me and tossed out quite a lot of it as not being suitable for maintenance of psychological and physical health.

Ergo, although the people who engendered me, gave birth to me, and raised me are still alive, as far as I am concerned, my parents died in 2004.

That said, my mother and grandmothers did not put up with weak helplessness. One thing my grandmother said was that she insisted all her children and grandchildren could drive a car, balance a checkbook, and had some sort of job they could do to support themselves so that they would never be forced into a position in which dependency left them vulnerable to abuse.

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