Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (Full Version)

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pahunkboy -> Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 3:17:22 AM)

    Attention!

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
    the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.



pahunkboy -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 4:41:30 AM)

Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You don't bother trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with music in the lift.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.


Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.



Musicmystery -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 7:48:43 AM)

Never gonna happen--they'd start drawing Social Security.

The only hope is to keep them working forever.



Jeffff -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 8:01:53 AM)

The way it looks now, I will be working untill my grandchildren die



Musicmystery -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 8:28:28 AM)

A lot of people are in your very large shoes.

With all the political hysteria about the cost of Social Security, no body's talking about that other issue--that a very large group of Baby Boomers will be holding onto jobs or taking new jobs much, much longer, shutting others out of the job market and putting downward pressure on wages (oversupply of labor).

Then, when they start dying, there will be a huge influx of inexperienced labor.

Fixing Social Security and giving those people a reasonable retirement option will become more attractive, even as waiting to fix it makes the problem continually greater.

On the other hand, all these optimistic people who figure, "Well, I'll just keep working" are assuming that they will be ABLE to work---physical disabilities can creep up fast with age, not to mention the usual round of serious illnesses that will also curtail ability to work.








Jeffff -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 8:29:48 AM)

Thanks for cheering me up!     [:D]



Musicmystery -> RE: Over the Age of 50? Prepare for Forced Retirement... (4/11/2010 8:33:44 AM)

Yeah, well....sorry.

When people want to know why I work extra---that's why.

And the savings do add up.



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