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Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 3:27:36 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

I was wondering if anyone else has had people contact them and in the first message say they want to relocate to be near you.
Personally, I get messages from Norway, Egypt, the Ukraine, Spain, the UK and from all over the USA. They all think I look fabulous and have something about me they adore. My response is always "Once you have moved, gotten a place of your own and are working, please feel free to contact me again."

It makes me wonder if they are expecting me to sponsor them (the Canadian government would look at my situation and turn me down flat), support them (I am having problems supporting myself) or to take responsibility for them.

I understand that people can meet online and talk for months or even years before deciding that one of them should relocate, that makes sense to me. What doesn't make sense is the rush to relocate within the first 5 or less messages.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

Post #: 1

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 4:46:43 AM

albear

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

My (now) husband relocated many moons ago from one side of the country to the other. We had been talking on the phone and internet for about six months, and met each other once before he bought a plane ticket. I think you'd be setting yourself up for a fall if you rushed to move after five minutes of talking! It's not entirely practical to pack up your life and dump it in a whole other country. I'd be a little scared if someone offered!

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 2

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:02:10 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: albear

My (now) husband relocated many moons ago from one side of the country to the other. We had been talking on the phone and internet for about six months, and met each other once before he bought a plane ticket. I think you'd be setting yourself up for a fall if you rushed to move after five minutes of talking! It's not entirely practical to pack up your life and dump it in a whole other country. I'd be a little scared if someone offered!

I certainly don't see a problem with the way you approached an LDR and relocation, you both took time to get to know each other before making the big step.

I am not scared when I get these offers to relocate within the first five messages, I see them as overeager. I also wonder what they are running from and how successful they are at building a life if they think nothing of uprooting and moving to a new country to be with someone they have known for a few hours or minutes. I also wonder what thought processes are going on that they would think I would agree.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to albear)

Post #: 3

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:05:25 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I was wondering if anyone else has had people contact them and in the first message say they want to relocate to be near you.

Yup! At least once a week.

quote:

Personally, I get messages from Norway, Egypt, the Ukraine, Spain, the UK and from all over the USA. They all think I look fabulous and have something about me they adore. My response is always "Once you have moved, gotten a place of your own and are working, please feel free to contact me again."

That is exactly what I respond too. The proof is in the pudding, darling boy. Shoshin, I'm assuming that like me, you never hear from those eager relocators after that note right?

quote:

It makes me wonder if they are expecting me to sponsor them (the Canadian government would look at my situation and turn me down flat), support them (I am having problems supporting myself) or to take responsibility for them.

I think a lot are looking for opportunity here in Canada, yes. I know a few north Africans who were so very obvious when they said (in French) "ah to add to your perfection, you live in beautiful Montréal". I don't know about everyone else, but the sensation of being purely used isn't a turn on.

quote:

I understand that people can meet online and talk for months or even years before deciding that one of them should relocate, that makes sense to me. What doesn't make sense is the rush to relocate within the first 5 or less messages.

Ummm... ok, I'm going to be nice here. I think these disillusioned, unstable and opportunistic characters need to really get a grip.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 4

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:08:10 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

On the other side of this there are Dominants who have asked me to relocate when I don't even know their real name (and totally ignoring the fact that I am taken and have been for nearly a year and a half). I have had quite a few get very angry when I told them "No and please do not contact me anymore." There is just something wrong with someone wanting (or wanting another) to relocate in the first conversation, it makes you wonder if they are mentally stable.

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 5

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:15:22 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Two sides to this debate and I have had both good and bad experiences with it. I currently am considering a few subs who live in other states. However like Angelika said.. the proof is in the pudding. If someone is located afar I expect them to bear the expenses of traveling to meet with me, or me to meet with them. This is also something that will happen over several times and occassions. One trip does not a commitment make. I also make it painfully clear that I will not be exclusive unless I so choose and unless they are able to meet all my needs which unfortunately is not possible from afar. I put the ball back in their court so to speak. If they truly want what they say they want then they must make the commitment to obtain it.

Ms.Eden.

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to siamsa24)

Post #: 6

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:15:39 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

That is exactly what I respond too. The proof is in the pudding, darling boy. Shoshin, I'm assuming that like me, you never hear from those eager relocators after that note right?
I think a lot are looking for opportunity here in Canada, yes. I know a few north Africans who were so very obvious when they said (in French) "ah to add to your perfection, you live in beautiful Montréal". I don't know about everyone else, but the sensation of being purely used isn't a turn on.
Ummm... ok, I'm going to be nice here. I think these disillusioned, unstable and opportunistic characters need to really get a grip.- LA

You are right, I never hear from them again, which is fine by me.
Yep, being given the feeling that someone thinks I am desperate enough to allow them to use me as a way out of whatever life they are living now to the golden paved streets with jobs and wealth falling into every citizen's lap makes me peeved. By the way, if anyone knows of any place where the streets are really paved with gold, where you don't have to work, yet can access a king's ransom at will and live worry and stress free, please email me, I can be packed & ready in one day. But I will need proof that such a place exists before I go.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 7

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:19:27 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24

On the other side of this there are Dominants who have asked me to relocate when I don't even know their real name (and totally ignoring the fact that I am taken and have been for nearly a year and a half). I have had quite a few get very angry when I told them "No and please do not contact me anymore." There is just something wrong with someone wanting (or wanting another) to relocate in the first conversation, it makes you wonder if they are mentally stable.

Try asking if they mind if you bring your 6 kids, 4 dogs, 10 cats and oh yes, invent a medical condition that would mean you can't work or have sex at all, ever. *lol*

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to siamsa24)

Post #: 8

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 5:21:15 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

Two sides to this debate and I have had both good and bad experiences with it. I currently am considering a few subs who live in other states. However like Angelika said.. the proof is in the pudding. If someone is located afar I expect them to bear the expenses of traveling to meet with me, or me to meet with them. This is also something that will happen over several times and occassions. One trip does not a commitment make. I also make it painfully clear that I will not be exclusive unless I so choose and unless they are able to meet all my needs which unfortunately is not possible from afar. I put the ball back in their court so to speak. If they truly want what they say they want then they must make the commitment to obtain it.

Ms.Eden.

Very true and an excellent way to handle it. Will really weed out the desperate ones.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Post #: 9

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 7:30:58 AM

ShrewWhisperer

Posts: 63
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

I suspect a lot of it has to do with the kink itself. --outside the ones who are clearly looking for a sugar mamma or visa refernce. So many men...and yeah I know women do it too, but it becomes easier to get a guy to at least try versions of a kink in the beginning if he thinks he'll get laid regular, --the half life on this is pretty short but it's about 100% more than men get.

But having to do with the kink itself, is men who have a fetish or a kink, or just way deep into the life, and can't find an outlet, (cuz they are dumb, shy or just vanilla lazy) find someone online and start pushing the 'let me come to you' or the 'come to me' button like it was a morphine drip and they just got done with surgery. Because they have built their wanna into this HUGE deal and finding a woman to indulge it is so rare in their life, their ability to look down the road is about as long as the end of thier cocks --which may be in direct proportion and creating the problem.

Yeah I know that most men over a longer haul can talk a woman into just about anything, but these guys ain't ever sustained a 9 month relationship with a woman since leavin' their mamma's privates.

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 10

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 7:37:30 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

[/quote]
Try asking if they mind if you bring your 6 kids, 4 dogs, 10 cats and oh yes, invent a medical condition that would mean you can't work or have sex at all, ever. *lol*
[/quote]

Another critical area not to be taken lightly at all. I for one make it clear that I am also a mother and the needs of my child will always come first. I also make it clear the Her Royal Highness My Shitz Tzu is the real Mistress in this household. OF course.. that leads to countless questions that often provide me with insight as to the nature of the sub. If they honestly think they will be kept naked and calling me Mistress 24/7 they have NO concept of Reality, and hence not worth the effort.

Ms. Eden
Her Majesty...

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 11

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 7:45:39 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShrewWhisperer

I suspect a lot of it has to do with the kink itself. --outside the ones who are clearly looking for a sugar mamma or visa refernce. So many men...and yeah I know women do it too, but it becomes easier to get a guy to at least try versions of a kink in the beginning if he thinks he'll get laid regular, --the half life on this is pretty short but it's about 100% more than men get.

But having to do with the kink itself, is men who have a fetish or a kink, or just way deep into the life, and can't find an outlet, (cuz they are dumb, shy or just vanilla lazy) find someone online and start pushing the 'let me come to you' or the 'come to me' button like it was a morphine drip and they just got done with surgery. Because they have built their wanna into this HUGE deal and finding a woman to indulge it is so rare in their life, their ability to look down the road is about as long as the end of thier cocks --which may be in direct proportion and creating the problem.

Yeah I know that most men over a longer haul can talk a woman into just about anything, but these guys ain't ever sustained a 9 month relationship with a woman since leavin' their mamma's privates.

*Roaring with laughter* So true & so well said, too bad none of the instant "I will relocate" people will bother to read this thread.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to ShrewWhisperer)

Post #: 12

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 7:49:49 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

Awwwwwwwwwww, Her Royal Highness is so cute!!!!!

My two terrors, Chai & Cleo

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Post #: 13

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 7:51:43 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

Well i have also gotten this from 'doms' as well. Oh i will stay with you and be with you.

umm . . . NO i dont think so.

And the ones from outside the country forget it i nicely reply thanks but no thanks you are GU (geographically undesireable) and bye and good luck.

i personally look for people somewhat local as i had a LDR and i do not want to do all that driving ever again! Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 14

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 10:04:07 AM

afmvdp

Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

haha...perhaps I speak from the opposite side of the spectrum as someone who has brought people over from other countries all the time. Even just some of my friends. I rarely have the time to take actual vacations anymore so instead for me it's cheaper to just bring the world to my feet rather than reversing the transaction. Same goes for people in other States often times. I've done my traveling for the time being...eventually I'll get to it again some day once my work is all in order. How they can get here without their country knowing they are intending to stay here is a rather easy process to follow...but maybe my issue isn't caring about the legality of things...I'm certain eventually that might bite me in the ass but we'll have to see. I keep wanting something to push me back to South America. Rio is rather nice about this time of year.

Sidenote to the whole thing though is that often times I have people relocate to me where ever it is that I am at that time. I also don't believe in LDR but it doesn't mean that if I happen to meet someone who is LDR they can't take a vacation to come meet and if things work from there, become a move for the duration of things to come.

< Message edited by afmvdp -- 9/14/2004 10:09:11 AM >

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 15

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 10:40:46 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I married an American and did the whole fiance visa and then the legal resident paperwork after the wedding. Almost 2 years of paperwork and extreme frustration and depression in total. I had one of the saddest weddings I've ever heard of. (His Mother asked to be dropped off at WalMart right after the service). I could not find a job and none of the places I applied ever called me back or returned my calls. (Small town in redneck Illinios). Then, before the paperwork was completed he changed his mind (fell out of love BS). So I packed up everything I could cart back in one load and returned home to Ontario. No car, no job, no home, no money as moving took everything I had from the divorce.

I also get notes from men who live in the US and abroad. I seldom bother to answer. I already know I'm never relocating for a guy again and I doubt they intend to.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 16

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 10:51:00 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

The fellow from Norway was all hot to relocate here, within 5 emails no less, knew I was the right woman for him, but wasn't thrilled when I said I could relocate to Norway. (I wasn't considering it, just wanted to see what he would say)Apparently it wasn't me, it was my country he was after.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to Laura)

Post #: 17

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 11:10:06 AM

LadyKatherine

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/11/2004
From: Southern Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

If they honestly think they will be kept naked and calling me Mistress 24/7 they have NO concept of Reality, and hence not worth the effort.

Ms. Eden
Her Majesty

Well I just come across this post and have to laugh at how familiar this is to Me. I have so many time come across those same sub/slaves that say they want to be My 24/7 relocate from wherever they live and expect to be ...(like Ms Edenstates above,) kept naked and calling Me Mistress 24/7...lol ya right and that life really exists huh?
I think we all know that as much as we are into this lifestyle no one can live their life that way for long anyways. This isnt some sort of sexual fantasy game we are playing here this is real life and being Dominated or in a 24/7 relationship does not mean you will be naked 24/7 325days a yr and be given all this play time that many male subs seem to think they will be in for. Honestly who has the time? We all have our vanilla lives we must live and keep up as well ... like going to work, caring for kids, etc.

We all have vanilla families and friends and bringing along our naked sub by collar and lead just doesnt go over to well .lol

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Post #: 18

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 11:11:09 AM

LadyKatherine

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/11/2004
From: Southern Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyShoshin

The fellow from Norway was all hot to relocate here, within 5 emails no less, knew I was the right woman for him, but wasn't thrilled when I said I could relocate to Norway. (I wasn't considering it, just wanted to see what he would say)Apparently it wasn't me, it was my country he was after.

LOL that is a good one Shoshin , will have to try that one myself sometime , hahah

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 19

RE: Eager Relocators - 9/14/2004 11:20:13 AM

LadyKatherine

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/11/2004
From: Southern Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyShoshin

I was wondering if anyone else has had people contact them and in the first message say they want to relocate to be near you.
Personally, I get messages from Norway, Egypt, the Ukraine, Spain, the UK and from all over the USA. They all think I look fabulous and have something about me they adore. My response is always "Once you have moved, gotten a place of your own and are working, please feel free to contact me again."

It makes me wonder if they are expecting me to sponsor them (the Canadian government would look at my situation and turn me down flat), support them (I am having problems supporting myself) or to take responsibility for them.

I understand that people can meet online and talk for months or even years before deciding that one of them should relocate, that makes sense to me. What doesn't make sense is the rush to relocate within the first 5 or less messages.

Yes I get them all the time and I just have to laugh at it.I usually tell them "why would you want to relocate to be with Me when you dont even know Me , you dont have any idea if we are even compatible. " I usually end up counselling these ones instead , by telling then you dont just submit yourself to anyone and especially one you dont know for anymore then like a few sentences. Not to mention I would not take on anymore live in slaves. Like you said shoshin in you post , if they are looking to come here and be supported by Me , well I can barely support Myself and family let alone adding another to the pile.lol

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 20

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