Seeking advice

Seeking advice (Full Version)

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Made2Obey -> Seeking advice (4/12/2010 8:10:42 PM)
Here is a question for the Dommes who are more lifestyle and less fin-Domme. What is a good gift to bring for a first meeting with a Mistress who is not seeking tribute and does not have an Amazon Wish List? I'll appreciate sincere suggestions.

SweetDommes -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 8:25:01 PM)
Well, I would hope that you would know a bit about her before meeting her. Does she have a favorite flower? A single rose (or other flower) is a nice gesture. Maybe you know her favorite author - a book is also nice. Maybe a CD by her favorite artist. For myself, I go through lotion, hand sanitizer and pens like crazy ... so any of those would be good for me. It just depends on what you know about her and what you think she would like. Something that shows that you were paying attention when you were talking to her is always going to be a winner.

Venatrix -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 8:48:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes Something that shows that you were paying attention when you were talking to her is always going to be a winner. This. For me, anyway, it helps also if it's something funny related to what I said. There's nothing like starting a date with humour to break the ice. If she has a pet, you'd probably get bonus points for bringing Fluffy/Fido/Gordon the Gerbil a little something, too. But the latter is probably only helpful if you already know you're really interested in her.

SweetDommes -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 9:15:24 PM)
Oh ... yeah, didn't think about that. A cute little thing that Holly and rob got me for Christmas was a set with a matching pet-tag and keychain. They pet-tag was a little pink sparkly crown that says "Princess" (my Shih Tzu's name is Princess Pandimonium) and the keychain was also a pink sparkly crown that says "Queen" - that would be a really cute thing, if, like Venatrix said, you are really interested in her, and you know that she has a cat or dog that she could use the tag with (preferably, a female pet lol)

DarkSteven -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 9:42:50 PM)
One of the many wonderful things about women is that they appreciate flowers for almost any occasion.

SweetDommes -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 9:54:56 PM)
True, to a point. If they have allergies, then flowers aren't always the best idea. I happen to love flowers, but if a boy were to get me a bouquet with a lily in it (or that has been next to lilies), I'd be sick within moments - which is not how I'd like a first meeting to go LOL

winterlight -> RE: Seeking advice (4/12/2010 9:57:30 PM)
Loves flowers especially StarGazer Lillies.... Flowers are great if not allergic. Box of candy or scented bubble bath but that might be too personal but you never know where that might lead? ;)

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 12:22:43 AM)
I think as long as you avoid buying gifts that she would feel 'obligated' to use on you, or for you, or anything of that nature you will be fine. Find something personal to her, that only she will enjoy - that is always a precious gift, no matter how big or small. If you don't know her very well yet, take the time to ask her some personal questions before you meet. Such as, what's your favorite color? Do you have a favorite brand of tea/treat? What are your hobbies? Finding out what she enjoys will help you select a gift that is personal for her. Not only do those questions help you find out what she enjoys, they show you are interested in her as a person - which is also a nice gift in of itself.

thetammyjo -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 5:06:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Made2Obey Here is a question for the Dommes who are more lifestyle and less fin-Domme. What is a good gift to bring for a first meeting with a Mistress who is not seeking tribute and does not have an Amazon Wish List? I'll appreciate sincere suggestions. Why would you bring her a gift? Would you bring a gift to a vanilla woman on your first meeting? If you wouldn't, why then bring one to a potential dominant?

CarrieO -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 5:46:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Made2Obey What is a good gift to bring for a first meeting with a Mistress who is not seeking tribute and does not have an Amazon Wish List? Your ears for listening...an under-rated talent. Your mouth for talking....not about what you want to do (or have done to you) but about who you are as a person. Your hands for opening doors...manners never go out of style and should be freely given to any companion. Your mind for thinking...yes, women like a man who can use his brain. You'll notice, none of these would be found on an Amazon wish list....they're free. I guess it depends on what your expectations are in meeting this woman. Good luck.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 6:03:43 AM)
That was beautiful....

ReginaMirus -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 6:39:23 AM)
Good point... Your primary focus and priority needs to be in building a relationship with her, not "trying to find the gift for her so she'll do me"a, and not as a means to an end. If you're not offering her money for services, or trying to build some kind of loving, lasting relationship with her, then what ELSE could possibly be in it for her?

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 10:21:09 AM)
A boy that I was interested in in my teen years bought me a small Sunshine Bear Care Bear stuffie. He told me that when he read the description it made him think of me, and from then on yellow has been my favorite color. If it hadn't been stolen from me, I would still have it and cherish it. Don't underestimate the power of thoughtfulness.

OrpheusAgonistes -> RE: Seeking advice (4/13/2010 3:53:36 PM)
quote: Why would you bring her a gift? Would you bring a gift to a vanilla woman on your first meeting? Yes. Something small. Sentimental without being maudlin. I like giving things to people I like. To the OP, there have been several excellent suggestions. I'd lean toward something like a small box of pretty good chocolate (it doesn't need to be Vosges but please don't get something off the "Marked Down On Account of it Done Expired" rack at a dollar store), a small bunch of flowers she's not allergic to, and a handmade CD. I'd go with plain chocolate to minimize your odds of giving her something she can't eat because of allergies. To find out what kind of flowers she may be allergic to, tell her some contrivance about how you're deathly allergic to some plant/flower and try to tell some kind of amusing anecdote that centers around that allergy. Then, at the end, she will either volunteer the information or you have a fairly inconspicuous opportunity to ask her if she has any allergies.

Madame4a -> RE: Seeking advice (4/14/2010 5:21:41 PM)
My current... (for more than a year now) .. brought me on our first date: a bouquet of purple flowers, bubble bath and bath salts as she knows I love taking hot baths, and a purple toothbrush as she'd heard me complain for half the week about the fact that I'd lost my toothbrush at work and I was going crazy trying to figure out what happened to it. She actually knew me fairly well, as we'd known one another for a few years before we started dating... she won my heart with those things because they were for me, about me.. and incredibly thoughtful

MaamJay -> RE: Seeking advice (4/14/2010 5:45:35 PM)
I don't expect a gift first visit beyond Carrie O's wonderful suggestions. However, I do appreciate that some people love to give gifts in which case you've had several great ideas. Small, not overly expensive and personal to the woman is the way to go. The gift shouldn't create a sense of obligation in the Domme, but rather a feeling of "wow, he's actually listened to what I've revealed of Myself in conversation ... that's special". The only suggestion I don't agree with is pretending you're allergic to flowers (if you're not) to find out if She is ... that could backfire on you later as an example of dishonesty. You could instead be speaking about a friend and one of his dates who was allergic to roses etc! Good luck OP! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Andalusite -> RE: Seeking advice (4/14/2010 6:03:16 PM)
Instead of asking about allergies, especially hinting around in a sneaky way, I'd suggest initiating a conversation about favourite bands, authors, colors, foods, flowers, hobbies, and so forth. Then, bring her a book by her favourite author, or a small box of her favourite candy, or a single blossom of her favourite flower. [:D] She'll know where you got the information from, but you've presented it in a low-key way. Plus, that's likely to spark interesting conversation, both before you meet, and once you're there.

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