Is it Just Jargon?

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Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 3:32:16 AM

candystripper

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A Dominant Man meets a submissive women and in His parlance, He wishes to become Master and Owner. She wishes to become part of a D/s relationship. When the actualities are discussed it does not seem T/they have any real disagreement and the words just seem like each person's prefered nomeclature....but i do wonder. What do Doms and Masters (and anyone else) think?

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 3:59:47 AM

IronBear

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I probably take a first meeting to get an overview of the person and thir mannerisms, attitudes and what they want/offer.... Too often first, second and even third meetings and where the bloke is putting his best foot forward, changes his socks and undies, shaves and acts gentlemanly.. It's when he starts to relax and be comfy the real personality shows up.. Then you can start to make decisions and as long as it's softly softly and carefull things should, provided he is still basically the person you first met, start to work out..... This is not a cynical post but one based on my observations and personal experience as a very young man first dating....

Good to see you here candy darlin have missed you..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/4/2006 4:01:33 AM >

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 4:13:52 AM

RavenMuse

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I think it is the same as with most lables..... mearly a starting point for discussion to get people in the right ball park when asking what the person actualy means by their use of a lable. You only have to read these very forums for a short time to see that many people who use the same lables may have VERY diffrent ways of putting that into practice.

I seek a D/s relationship which will build toward a TPE, the girl is mine, her time is mine and I am her Master..... I could use any of the lables in your example and they would be correct, however they don't say much on their own but get someone asking the right questions to find out what I mean.

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 5:06:45 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

I think it is the same as with most labels..... merely a starting point for discussion to get people in the right ball park when asking what the person actualy means by their use of a label. You only have to read these very forums for a short time to see that many people who use the same labels may have VERY different ways of putting that into practice.

Very well put. The "one word" things are best in casual conversation or to get a more serious conversation started. After all, if someone walks up to me at a book signing and says "I'm a slave" my response probably would be "That's nice" but if she says "I want to be your slave" I'd have to say "Tell me what you mean by that."

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 7:12:58 AM

perverseangelic

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I think the terms that people choose set up different expectations for the relationship. While I would say that in practice, it seems to me that Owner/Master/Dom/Dominant boil down to about the same thing, I wouldn't ever call my Owner my Dom, Master or Dominant. I wouldn't do this because while to -me- it looks like the practices of each are about the same, to someone else, if I call him "Master" they'd be expecting a kind of interaction that doesn't fit our relationship at all.

I honestly don't know if I'd say I'm part of a D/s relationship. Again, I think it's the same thing, but using the jargon, as the op put it, creates an expectation in the viewer that I don't think is there.

So, yeah. I think it comes down to "how does this term fit me" and "how do all parties invovled define it" and "how will an outside observer define it if they hear me use it"

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 7:26:49 AM

IrishMist

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I said it before and I'll say it again.

Labels are EVIL. EVIL, EVIL, EVIL

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 7:35:28 AM

Ceyx

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In your scenario, you say that 'the actualities are discussed' (an important word), that there isn't 'any real disagreement' and that the words are simply the 'preferred nomenclature.' To all of this, I say, 'Good show.'

Every relationship is unique, and the important thing is what the words mean to you and yours, not to the world at large. If both of these people know what, for example, 'Master' and 'slave' mean in the context of their relationship-- the 'actualities,' as you say-- and those terms suit and satisfy them, then by all means they should use them. I consider myself to be in a 'D/s relationship' with my miss; I call myself her 'Owner,' and she's my 'slave.' For us, these are terms that indicate a degree of familiarity, intimacy and love, a close bond between us; we wouldn't have used them when we were first getting to know one another. That said, if your hypothetical 'Dominant Man' and 'submissive woman' are on the same page, then it makes no very great difference what I think of the terms they choose to build on.

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RE: Is it Just Jargon? - 4/4/2006 9:35:46 AM

cillydom

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To me words are not all that important, it’s motivations and feelings that I want to understand. Understand those and you understand them.

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