Worth Concepts and Idealogy (Full Version)

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WiseCracknSadist -> Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 5:26:28 AM)

I want to predface this, to avoid as much flame as possible, by saying I don't believe sub/slaves or weak incapable. This thread comes from conversations and profiles read.

I've read profiles where either the sub refers to herself as worthless or it ma even be in her name only to see in another paragragh or in a journal that they believe themselves to be equal to Doms only different.

I wonder if this is confusing the ideas of worth and capability or if the use of the term wortless is merely a fantasy term for themselves or a hot button term to attract Doms?

Everyone is different etc etc. I'd really like to see some good introspective discussion on this to help me understand.



lally2 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 5:43:17 AM)

i do believe there are some people with real self esteem issues - ideally theyll find someone who will help them through that, rather than exacerbate it.  but for some they want to be made to feel worthless, it is a hot button for them. 

what i feel i bring into a relationship is me and i happen to think thats of equal importance to the relationship as the Dominants input.  i dont feel that in submission i am lowering myself or of a lesser being because im submissive, im just the yin to his yang, a symbiosis of personality traits that happens to compliment the other.  because i deffer decisions or control doesnt mean that im weak or unable to make decisions, i simply adhere to the understanding that his word is law when things boil down.  but i will choose to be with someone whose decisions are not going to be alien to my morality or self worth.

i think when you read profiles you have to just think that it is generally a window into who they are and if they think someone is going to be attracted to someone who thinks theyre worthless then they have put that there for a reason you may or may not want to explore.  anyone who uses vocabulary like that makes me think that is their train of thought in some way or another.



UniqueRaven -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 5:48:41 AM)

As a slave, i see myself as an item of very high value for my Owner. You'll even hear me speak sometimes about my "value equation," which is the package of everything that i bring to the table to offer him as a potential Owner of me.

i've said it many times and will say it again: If you want to be owned, be something worth owning.

The whole "i'm a worthless slave" fantasy doesn't work for me. Who wants to own something that's worthless? Even having someone around just to abuse isn't worth the effort of owning that person. Owners want to own items of value, not worthlessness.



DesFIP -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 5:55:13 AM)

There are very few worthless sub profiles written by women. The lowly worm thing is usually a male sub. Comes from femdom porn written by men to appeal to men. So the inexperienced male sub assumes he has to talk like that to attract a femdomme. Which isn't true. Except for young women seeking tribute to pay their way, dommes don't want that. They want competent and capable partners who prefer to defer to their partners. Which oddly enough is what most male doms want also.

What you may be missing however is that for many people humiliation is a huge turn on so writing such a profile gets them off. Or simply indicates that they want this in play.



UniqueRaven -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 5:58:39 AM)

There are lots, and lots of "worthless sub" profiles written by women too - they may not approach Doms in the same way as sub men approach Dommes, but they do write them.

Totally get that humiliation may be a kink - just as you mention like for Dommes, Doms don't generally see it as something initially appealing either. i would say keep that topic for discussion once they actually get to speaking with someone about their preferences. But no one's perfect. [:)]



bestheadyet -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 6:05:34 AM)

i love this forum.......im learnig im learning!



GraciousLady -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 6:11:22 AM)

There are people who really feel they are worthless but I have found most submissives to have great strength and confidence. I've said many times our s types are way more capable than the average nilla type.



lucylucy -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 6:30:03 AM)

I don't see myself as worthless or incapable at all. I do see myself as under my Owner's control. Some may equate being under someone's control as being "less than" the person who controls them, but that isn't how my Owner and I see it.

I have seen some sub profiles, from submissive men and women both, that strike me as being written by very confused people, posssibly suffering from clinical depression. They do seem to have serious self-esteem issues. I don't know if they really feel as worthless as they say they do or not, but it does concern me. When I was single, my goal was to become the best person I could so that whoever I eventually partnered with would feel lucky to have me. I was never looking for someone to "fix" me. My self-esteem is healthy enough that I don't feel like I'm in need of fixing.

I would never want to be involved with someone who needed fixing. I want a partner, not a project. But I know plenty of people who like to have projects.



leadership527 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 7:28:14 AM)

My own personal opinion is that an awful lot of people have not managed to shuck society's value system. In the larger society, being the leader is what good, strong, intelligent, competent (yada yada) people do. Being the follower is for those who couldn't cut it as a leader. I think that cultural meme runs deep and for the most part, it is widely believed by the BDSM community too -- doms and subs alike. I have no other explanation for the things I routinely hear people say in real life and read on the internet.

Yes, it's also true that this is a part of a fantasy/scene stuff for a lot of folks. But then you still have to ask, "Why?" Why is a common part of the fantasy for the sub/slave to be worthless/weak/humiliated/etc. I don't believe for a moment that such things are random.



Smutmonger -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 9:37:03 AM)

I think they are trying to stroke the egos of narcissists.

I never contact anyone who claims to be 'fuckmeat" or worthless.

Humans make very expensive "pets"

If it shits and doesn't pay rent-it doesn't belong in the house.



littleone35 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 10:55:13 AM)

Why would any Dom want something that is worthless? I am of great worth to my Master I know that, because he tells me, not in words but in actions.. If i were not i doubt he would come to see me every day. Master says i am his most cherished possesion so how can that be worthless? If i had written my profile like that i am fairly sure he would not have contacted me, and then i would have missed out on a wonderful relationship.

If a person thinks they are worthless, they should fix themselves before even thinking about getting into a relationship.

Matt's littleone



DWCskitten -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 12:02:32 PM)

~Fast Reply~
i have heard Some say that a slave is worthless when she wakes up in the morning, until she serves to increase her value. i'm not sure about that one. Then i've also heard Some say that there aren't many out there who are cut out to be slaves rather than subs, so a slave is of high worth, and i sure has H don't want to get into that debate.....it's never-ending. What i am sure about is i don't feel at all worthless. And why the H would Anyone want to own a piece of property that's worthless anyway? That is totally beyond me.

~kitten~



lally2 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 12:16:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

~Fast Reply~
i have heard Some say that a slave is worthless when she wakes up in the morning, until she serves to increase her value. i'm not sure about that one. Then i've also heard Some say that there aren't many out there who are cut out to be slaves rather than subs, so a slave is of high worth, and i sure has H don't want to get into that debate.....it's never-ending. What i am sure about is i don't feel at all worthless. And why the H would Anyone want to own a piece of property that's worthless anyway? That is totally beyond me.

~kitten~


hey kitten,

highlighted bit:  if someone said that to me theyd be minus one sub - to my mind what that is doing is creating a negative vaccum for the sub to fill the whole time, its pleasing the unpleasable and as such soul destroying.  thats just appalling.

to start each day as worthless and have to keep on having to prove youre worth is so 'groundhog day' - dont these people have any bloody brains in their head or any emotional intelligence to speak of - they dont deserve a sub, arrogant SOB's.

sorry, rant over.



elleX -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 1:07:10 PM)

,,,i dont think that a sub who fill her profile about how wortless she is   would be the good thing to do here

there is enough  predator around that will jump on it ,,,
not a good place to hang around for that type of submissive ,
,,,
my point of view



pyroaquatic -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 2:19:27 PM)

I am alive and I am invaluable.



perfectflaw00 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 2:36:55 PM)

Some good posts in this thread I'm submissive and never for a minute to I think myself worthless quite the opposite in fact. I have many attributes and characteristics that I believe would benefit a woman a great deal. I agree with the fact that those who put this in their profiles are probably buying into the femdom fantasy that is pushed down our throats by much of the porn out there.



DesFIP -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 2:49:47 PM)

I haven't seen nearly as many worthless female profiles as I have males. But may be me, I'm not attracted to women so I may just not pay as much attention.

Oh and Raven, that was meant as a fast reply, not actually to you. I always forget to put FR on a post.



perfectflaw00 -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 3:11:24 PM)

no its certainly not you, with men its much more prevalent in many profiles. I mean if I did not have worth what good would I be to my dominant. I put a lot of effort into many of the skills that I have in order to make myself more valuable. 



kanina -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 3:27:43 PM)

a person with selfesteem issues should get professional help not being making profiles in bdsm sites...

but most, i do think, is more a roleplay to attrack dominants...  becuase if some say in one point that they are worthless and in the next point they are equal something is wrong...



DWCskitten -> RE: Worth Concepts and Idealogy (4/13/2010 6:08:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

~Fast Reply~
i have heard Some say that a slave is worthless when she wakes up in the morning, until she serves to increase her value. i'm not sure about that one. Then i've also heard Some say that there aren't many out there who are cut out to be slaves rather than subs, so a slave is of high worth, and i sure has H don't want to get into that debate.....it's never-ending. What i am sure about is i don't feel at all worthless. And why the H would Anyone want to own a piece of property that's worthless anyway? That is totally beyond me.

To add to what i said before, quoted above.....i feel i have a lot of worth and i bring a lot to a relationship. i have a lot of skills, a lot of love & compassion, etc. If i didn't feel that way, i would not have "put myself out there" as available & offer something worthless. i think it's just ridiculous to say someone is worthless, even ones self. i believe everyone has something to offer. And i believe to tell someone that she/he is worthless until they do something for Someone is just feeding into crappy self-esteem and crappy feelings about oneself. Why would someone want to be owned by a Person Who would do that to them?

~kitten~



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