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Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 8:06:01 AM   
bethsmith1988


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline 		One thing I learned is if you do meet someone on here you know, they are not going to be telling all your friends you are here because they do not want people to know they were here either.
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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 8:10:28 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Umm, some people in my local "Scene" are very "out," and aren't shy at all about sharing their proclivities and running around wearing a collar. It hasn't come up with anyone I've dated, but there are plenty of people who I've run into at vanilla hobbies and events who also attended munches or public playparties. I also recognised/was recognised by someone from playparties we'd attended (with other people) who worked in the same building, but not for the same employer. So far, nobody has outed me or been indiscreet with my info as far as I know, but I don't think you can automatically assume that they'll care as much as you do about your friends/neighbors/co-workers/whatever knowing. I tend to worry more about them calling me by my real name at BDSM events, outing me in the *opposite* direction.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/14/2010 8:12:44 AM >

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 8:25:58 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		One rule I follow is I treat and acknowledge people according to where and win what situation we happen to meet up in. If at a local BDSM event, the standard course of action is calling them by what they want to be addressed as. On the street I usually use their given name unless otherwise asked. In meat life, most of my friends know me as Bear as it's my everyday nickname that I use regardless if I'm in a coffeehouse or at a local dungeon. 

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Take the pain
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I'm the master of both
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Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 8:40:42 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Beth... do yourself a favor and search for the name "Goddessmine"

Or perhaps someone will toss up a link.

She was outed here and had her career ruined.

Things, and people, are not alway what they seem. I STRONGLY urge you to be careful with what you reveal and to whom you reveal it.

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 8:48:45 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		The last thing you need is for some stalker to find you here-and then out  you to people who can get you in trouble in your real life.

Which is why I think posting face pics is insanely stupid.

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 9:00:31 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bethsmith1988

One thing I learned is if you do meet someone on here you know, they are not going to be telling all your friends you are here because they do not want people to know they were here either.


I would suggest you not be so naive as to assume this to be true.  Trust me on this one.  Yes, Virginia, there are stalkers.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3150088  A link to the "Goddessmine story"

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 4/14/2010 9:01:11 AM >

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 9:09:35 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bethsmith1988

One thing I learned is if you do meet someone on here you know, they are not going to be telling all your friends you are here because they do not want people to know they were here either.


That is a total load of crap, and if you believe it, it will bite you in the bum one day.

Sunshine, the Oracle

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 9:09:39 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks Carrie...... I miss the chair

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 9:11:24 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		You're welcome Jeffff...glad to see the "carefree anteater" pic back.  I'm working on the chair.

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 9:35:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

Hang about-correct me if I'm wrong, but the hackers who fucked Goddess Mine over were *anonymous strangers*. She wasn't caught by people she knew, she was outed by people who had nothing to lose by outing her, and who left her no way of fighting back.

What does this have to do with the OP's point that someone she knows may have as much to lose by outing her as she does?

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:10:43 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		 Limey-nipples,the pont is you never know WHO you are typing too on this here thing.

I am a nice guy right?.... kind of?... after a fashion?

Buit can you really be sure?


Tell your mum I am a nice guy





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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:40:52 AM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

The last thing you need is for some stalker to find you here-and then out  you to people who can get you in trouble in your real life.

Which is why I think posting face pics is insanely stupid.

Smut, having a face pic has little if anything to do with minimizing the risk. The kind of damage that can be done via the Internet to a person's livelihood or standing in their community can be accomplished quite successfully without posting a single pic. Having a face pic or not is more about personal preference than safety. I will admit that a pic alone can become the trigger for someone's obsessions, but this is so rare as to be negligible when calculating risk.

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:43:30 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lets see how you feel about that on the morning of the 24th!

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:46:05 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Limey-nipples,the pont is you never know WHO you are typing too on this here thing.

I am a nice guy right?.... kind of?... after a fashion?

Buit can you really be sure?



Of course I can't be sure-but that's because I *don't know you*. This has nothing to do with the OP's question, which is about people she already knows finding her profile and potentially grassing her up to all her friends. You don't know any of my friends. You just wish you knew my mother....

C'mon, Mr Floofy-I can't be sure that you're nice but I know you're intelligent-surely you can see we're talking about two different things here?


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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:52:32 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yes and no.

If she is sure she knows the other person, that still doesn't nean it is safe. The other person could always pretend to have "stumbled" across her.

"So I know this weird guy who is into kinky sex. He tells me he was on this web site and saw some girl who looks just like Agnes:. "She is going by the name of VaguelyCurious"

" I think we should tell her Father so he can make sure she is safe"

A stretch?..... maybe.... possible?...definatly.

I have nothing to hide and nothing to lose... not everyone can say the same thing



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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 10:56:21 AM   
wenchwanted42


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline 		I once correctly identified a fairly prominent citizen I had talked to only online by starting with nothing more than a first name, profession, and general location. Within 15 minutes on google I knew his full name, job title and employer, home address and phone number. About knocked him over with a feather when I told him.

Moral of the story - be very very careful with your personal info.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 11:01:13 AM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lets see how you feel about that on the morning of the 24th!

Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on your face when you realize that pic isn't really me.

(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 11:02:15 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah... like THAT would be the first time that has happend....:)

I will be suprised if it IS

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 11:04:07 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I look at all of this from two, kind of opposing, perspectives.

I try to avoid putting anything out here I would get embarrassed about, if anyone I give a damn about, found out.

But also......this is about human beings being human beings. Don't expect anyone you don't know, to behave any better than the yuckiest person you do know. Think about that...

I don't get people being more freaked out by the net than by a crowd of strangers in a nightclub. People are people........the good the bad and the downright scary. There is just as good a chance of meeting a scary person in your own neighbourhood as online. Same goes for cool, boring, and every other adjective that you can apply to a human being.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Fear of being caught on here - 4/14/2010 11:04:57 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Some of us just don't give a fuck

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