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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 7:33:07 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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My Master and I do some subtle things in public occasionally, but he doesn't want me to wear an obvious collar in public except at events such as Folsom Street Fair. I'd probably be willing to in a setting such as a club or some such, but it wouldn't be acceptable at work, and I feel it would be rude to wear one to visit my grandmother, for example.

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Post #: 121

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 8:43:54 PM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
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if i was made to wear one on occasions out, i would but 24/7 - no.

i embrace fashion. not everything goes with a collar.

only if it was a night out that He specifically wanted one on.

Even so, i've never had the circumstance. I think, for some, a collar means everything...for others, it's a "whatever" tool for when the mood strikes. I'm a bedroom sub tho...and these are my feelings speaking as one.

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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 8:45:16 PM

Elsinoresub

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/25/2009
From: Southern California
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I wouldn't mind at all...but then I'm strange that way.

~C

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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/15/2010 9:36:37 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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yes i have a collar that i am proud to wear in public its red leather and has a removable stone where the leash can attach. this is my formal one i have a regular one a silver chain with a small working padlock on it. as i am a nurse it must be removable for surgery and going near the MRI ect. i get a few questions on it but most dont do more than take a second look. during events my Mistress will lead me with the leash

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Post #: 124

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 4:06:09 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
What you read as uncouthness and rudeness I saw plain truth from his POV and is quite refreshing.

Then you didn't follow the discussion very closely at all.

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Post #: 125

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 4:27:37 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

FR ~
I don't see why a collar is such the big issue, I really don't. I am noticing a trend though and that is the US Vs Europe (I'd love to see someone from Aus or New Zealand here... where is wanders when ya need her or did I miss her post?). And that is that in places like the UK, it's just normal to see a collar, whether it looks like a torque or its a big ole fat leather one. Jb (I think)mentioned that it really wouldn't be out of place in Ibiza. No one bats an eyelid and it's just another thing someone is wearing. But people from the states seem to have some sort of stigma attatched - whether thats because it's a collar, or the old Walmart attack(and I thought it was the brits who suffered from social stigmas and class snobbery). Is it really THAT big a deal in the states?

the.dark.

You rang?

The city I live in has a large alternative lifestyle and it isn't unusual to see people with the more obvious fetish collars around their necks though I haven't seen anyone leashed as well except at fetish events. But the city I used to live in over here is much less forward thinking and I rarely saw anyone wearing them. I work in a fairly alternative suburb in the city and it isn't unusual to see goth guys in gorgeous skirts walking around...it is fabulous

Would I wear one? Probably, outside of work I wear leather cuffs and arm bands so a collar would just be the next step up I guess

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Post #: 126

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 5:58:57 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
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I've been reading thru the responses & can respect people's personal choices about wearing their "obvious" collar in public. I won't bore you with copying/pasting each & every quote w/specific responses so I'll just ask a general question.
For those of you who do not want to wear the collar in public & will refuse any dom/domme that wants you to, you'll only wear it during playtime...does this mean you're ashamed of your status in the relationship & will only submit behind closed doors?

I must admit to being surprised by I believe it was DesFip's response regarding causing the breakup of a relationship bet. her son & his girlfriend (hope I got that right) just because you wore a collar. The girlfriend is "stuffy", ok I get that but where do you draw the line at caring what people think? If she'd breakup w/your son because of what you wore is she really someone you want in your life since you'll always be worrying about what she's thinking?

I'm also in agreement w/several others w/the response how does wearing your collar in public "force your kink" on others? There's no whip in your owner's hand, you aren't on your knees kissing their feet or sucking their genitals, you're merely wearing an "offbeat" piece of jewelry that would cause eyebrows to raise, right? No different than 250lb people shoving themselves into Daisy-duke shorts because it's 90 degrees outside. Now THAT"S something I don't want to see but do I ask them WHY they're displaying themselves in public like that & to change their clothes before they blind my grandums? Nope, I'll just bypass them.

These responses have far exceeded my expectations & it's brought to mind another question that I'm considering posting on the "Ask a Master" thread. Stay tuned

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Post #: 127

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 6:10:49 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Goodness Potty - ya not gonna start a thread asking which doms like spandex are you???????

I have to admit, I was pretty surprised at the post Des made about not wanting her sons girlfriend to break up with him because of something she might do or wear. Personally, I would want and entirely hope that my son and daughter would make far better choices in a partner (and friendships), one who was accepting of any part of a partners family and able to distinquish the difference in personal choice.
I don't find it a case of not caring what other people think or feeling, but caring that a persons (in this case my childrens) integrity and own ideas aren't based on anothers ideals. I don't like throwing this term around, but I find that abusive and like blackmail.

Personally, I don't see a collar as a status thing or symbolic. Sometimes they can be tacky and even a bit kitch, but I like kitch and so does Master, sometimes they can be sparkles and cute. Some can be hot. End of the day though - It's just a collar.

the.dark.

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Post #: 128

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 6:37:54 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
What you read as uncouthness and rudeness I saw plain truth from his POV and is quite refreshing.

Then you didn't follow the discussion very closely at all.

Wolf2Bear,
Thanks for your comments!

You forgot to consider Bear that addressing the hypocrisy of a 'one true way' from some people results in personal attack.

Responses get personal; "You're so full of it, it's not even funny. That's insecurity and anger disguised as getting off by being an offensive prick. ." "You can't help yourself...Everything about you screams, Look at me I'm a big fat Republican" or the broad stroke "we were talking about how stupid women look wearing a collar. I am sure Beth is no exception."

If they could discuss on the facts, or had an open acceptance of other peoples lifestyle choice perhaps they'd respond differently; however I for one appreciate they have disclosed their true nature - accepting as long as it's their "one true way". Hell , these repossesses are the best they can do, you have to give them some slack and enjoy them for the entertainment value.

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 129

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:00:04 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I love my collar. I started out with a leather one with an O ring. Wore that everyday. No one gave it a second thought.
Now I have a nice big steel ring that I can't take off. I gave up and risked just about everything in my life for this relationship.
I wear his collar proudly. If some think it's tacky, then that's what they think. I could care less.
Plus...when he's fucking me from behind and grabs onto the collar, it chokes me quite nicely.

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Post #: 130

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:06:15 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

Goodness Potty - ya not gonna start a thread asking which doms like spandex are you???????

Thanks dc!! What a great idea!!!

Dear Master/Mistress's...............................I start this thread on behalf of dc aka the dark................

quote:

Plus...when he's fucking me from behind and grabs onto the collar, it chokes me quite nicely.

Aileen, you're always so eloquent!! I just love reading your posts! YOU make the best argument of ALL!

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RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:22:47 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
What you read as uncouthness and rudeness I saw plain truth from his POV and is quite refreshing.

Then you didn't follow the discussion very closely at all.

Think again.

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Post #: 132

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:26:05 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

To Merc: I told your slave that having someone dictate what I could and couldn't wear was why I could never be a slave: a lighthearted and self-deprecating comment - fashion means something to me. It looks like fashion means something to you, since you tell her what to wear. You used this irrelevant and perfectly innocuous difference of opinion as an excuse to yet again be rude and uncouth because you get off on it, due to your personal insecurities: sort them out. I resorted to insults after you insulted me. Fuck off, Merc

: you're a verbose and insecure windbag. Your one-twue wayism is getting beyond tedious.

Generally, when it comes to cat/dog/elephant collars, I don't care whether people wear them or not. It's up to them. Personally, I find that they look coolest behind closed doors, like lingerie, and any other kind of sexy paraphernalia that can turn people on. It's an aesthetic choice that people make. It's quite okay to say that it's not one would personally make. And the irony is... it's one that I made a few times, much to my chagrin lol: I eventually realised that it was a rather tacky fashion choice. For me

.

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Post #: 133

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:36:49 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

Now now kids play nice.

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Post #: 134

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:39:11 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

To Merc: I told your slave that having someone dictate what I could and couldn't wear was why I could never be a slave: a lighthearted and self-deprecating comment - fashion means something to me. It looks like fashion means something to you, since you tell her what to wear. You used this irrelevant and perfectly innocuous difference of opinion as an excuse to yet again be rude and uncouth because you get off on it, due to your personal insecurities: sort them out. I resorted to insults after you insulted me. Fuck off, Merc : you're a verbose and insecure windbag. Your one-twue wayism is getting beyond tedious.

Generally, when it comes to cat/dog/elephant collars, I don't care whether people wear them or not. It's up to them. Personally, I find that they look coolest behind closed doors, like lingerie, and any other kind of sexy paraphernalia that can turn people on. It's an aesthetic choice that people make. It's quite okay to say that it's not one would personally make. And the irony is... it's one that I made a few times, much to my chagrin lol: I eventually realised that it was a rather tacky fashion choice. For me .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r600nwnrJBQ

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Post #: 135

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:43:41 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Now now kids play nice.

Sorry, Potty.

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Post #: 136

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:52:46 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello Potty

An interesting question. Maybe I've gotten really conservative, but what's the reason for this collar? I mean, in the general public, it could make people uncomfortable. I don't feel a need to do that. I'd rather choose not to make people uncomfortable just so I can wear a big ole hunk of bling (I'd feel the same way about wild clothes, too). If it were an inconspicuous one, that's different.

Besides, I want a man who's hold on me is such that when he crooks his finger, I can't help but move. Tomorrow, I might feel differently.

Best,
sunshine

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Post #: 137

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 7:57:50 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

The black 2 ton collar you wore in Fl when you were w/the M's is a good example.

It was obviously not a necklace but didn't really appear to be a collar so what did the vanilla folks think it was? If they approached you saying it was a unique piece of jewelry& inquired where you bought it what would you have said?

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Post #: 138

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 8:04:18 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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That it was a part of my being quirky way and that it was jewelry made especially for me. I would have problaby then diverted their attention elsewhere.

I also have grown something of a back bone since then and wouldn't do it again. If Signore Wonderful had asked me to, I wouldn't have.

I think that there is a way to be discreet and still share. I remember a gal who said something about showing her collar and she put her hand out, and it was a diamond ring. While I"m not crazy about bling, that's closer to my speed. A simple silver necklace would be more along the lines of what I'd wear now.

But then I'm vanilla don'tcha know.

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Post #: 139

RE: How do you feel about wearing your collar in public? - 4/16/2010 8:04:57 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

There's something to be said for symbolism, rituals and traditions.

We have a lot of traditions and rituals that use a wide variety of objects to get across a message to both the outside world and or the closer groups impacted directly. Why we would choose to accept one over another is entirely up to the people involved. I'm sure the outside world will get over and maybe even adopt a different nonjudgmental stance over time..Much the same way they have with rings and necklaces..I however won't be waiting for them to do it before I make my own decisions.

Not to mention what dc has mentioned. If you put it into perspective..It's just another type of necklace...

< Message edited by Icarys -- 4/16/2010 8:06:48 AM >

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Post #: 140

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