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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 9:58:00 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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as my Mistress has said for me being a service orientated slave denying me the attention or ability to serve after being told how i have disapointed Her. as i delight in Her happiness i try very hard not to dissapoint Her

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LadyPact

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Post #: 21

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/18/2010 3:25:31 AM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
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for me, if i'm being beaten because i did something bad and upset someone, i won't enjoy it at all. honestly, if i wanna be beaten i wanna do it for fun and everyone involved having fun with it

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Post #: 22

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/18/2010 6:06:37 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveatia

The easiest way to punish any sub/slave... maso or not is ignoring them... The pain that being ignored by your One causes is completely different than that which a maso enjoys.

This is obvious but i want to mention it anyway: remember to announce in detail why you've disappeared on them prior to doing so. As a contented lil' loner, i once spent a happy, golden Saturday crafting away, enjoying a nice walk and having a good sprawling nap when my then D-type expected to find me contrite and apologetic on Sunday after a day of hand-wringing and woe-is.

this made me smile)) - im the same, corner time, left alone for a day or two - lovely!!

... it really is a case of know youre sub partner: work out what she loves to do and then deprive her of it.

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to petmonkey)

Post #: 23

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/18/2010 7:58:44 AM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
... it really is a case of know youre sub partner: work out what she loves to do and then deprive her of it.

Exactly right. :)

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Be excellent to each other.

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Post #: 24

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 1:16:21 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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We shouldn't assume that a masochist is also submissive. I have known some masochists that don't have anything submissive about them and so making them do something they don't like wouldn't work.
When I first got into this I was lucky enough to have a none submissive masochist that helped me learn about the giving of pain without all the 'yes Ma'am, no Ma'am, three bags full Ma'am'. If he had done something I didn't like then I would of had to talk to him the same as a vanilla friend. If I had tried to punish him he would of just laughed at me and told me to fuck off

If you have a submissive masochist that needs punishing then you punish the submissive side of them.

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Post #: 25

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 5:24:56 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I make mine write an essay on a topic of my choosing. He HATES this and my boy is a big pain slut. So no pain as punishment for a maso, it is better to give them something more mundane that they can work on alone IMO.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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Post #: 26

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 9:34:57 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I have good friend who is a masochist she likes all soirts of pain. She hates feeling like she dissappointed her master though. The is two thing he can do to her that work . Physically he can cane her hands which she hates, but he does not do that often (he does not want to cause damage) that is usualy for a bad infraction. The other is he puts her in the corner and leaves the rom for a period of time then he come back and they talk. Thet is the perfered punishment for both.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 27

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 9:42:10 AM

RidiculedPiggy

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/13/2010
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Without reading the other posts, I was thinking the best way that one could punish a masochist is giving her something she doesn't like, therefore if you spanked her it wouldn't be much of a punishment...what if you....say you were punishing her for spending too much money, then take away a right for example her financial control. If she doesn't like humiliation,humiliating her could be a punishment. You would be the one to know her best, know what she dislikes, what would be a punishment.

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 28

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 9:43:32 AM

kay0241

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

yes, i have to echo what many others have said: ignoring. i hate hate hate when my Dom is ignoring me; i can't deal with it. i have to contemplate what i've done wrong and why He's upset with me and i just hate being separated from Him. it's torture, and does its job.

however, i also don't enjoy caning, so that makes an effective punishment for me (though i enjoy most pain play).

each sub is different so something needs to be found that she isn't into is all.

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 29

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 9:49:14 AM

itsmeinLV

Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
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There is such a thing called "bad" pain that is used to punish me. Anything that isn't "good" pain, haha. :p

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)

Post #: 30

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 10:43:06 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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I have to respond to the concept of withdrawing attention as punishment, because nobody ever seems to question the notion.

This idea seems to have many supporters, but personally, I think it's a mistake. Maybe it's OK if the withdrawal of attention refers merely to "play time", or if the relationship is limited to such activities. Otherwise, it amounts to emotional blackmail, and IMO has no place in a real life relationship, especially if you want it to be long-term. Sure, the person being punished doesn't like it, but that's not the only criterion that needs to be considered. In the long run it destroys trust, and that's counterproductive. There's a reason that this is pretty universally recognized as a bad way to discipline children. Of course we're adults here, but even adult relationships depend on trust and feeling secure in the knowledge that your partner will always care for you. Withdrawal of attention crushes that.

I understand why a lot of people like it. It's an easy, lazy way out for the person who's withdrawing attention, and it seems effective because the object of punishment dislikes it. Come on dominants, suck it up and get a little creative for a change.

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 31

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/19/2010 10:49:48 AM

Kimveri

Posts: 783
Joined: 7/14/2007
From: Vegas
Status: offline

~FR~

Good points, hardbodysub.

In the world of behavior modification, there's a practice called "extinction", wherein the negative behavior is ignored, garnering NO attention of any sort. The person is not ignored, only the unwanted behavior. This works because there's no loss of trust-based interaction.

Ignoring the person FOR their behavior does, in fact, destroy trust. It also can damage fragile self-images, communication lines & opportunities for positive feedback & reinforcement. Rather counter-productive, in most cases.

~K

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"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 32

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/21/2010 11:45:01 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Yup. My X dom thought ignoring me when I had messed up enough to make him not feel like dealing with me, was a handy way of deeling with me, and the problem and oooooooooh no it was so far from helpful or useful or even a good judgment call. I was angry and hurt cause he didn't say anything just decided to skip contact for most the day then later say " I didn't feel like dealing with you so I didn't" the behavior that caused him to be so pissed, wasn't dealt with by his choice, and in fact now he had to work 10 times harder to reach me.

I personally have ignorement type treatments on my hard limits list. If they want to play that game with me they'll be finding them self ignoring my backside as I walk out on them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kimveri

~FR~

Good points, hardbodysub.

In the world of behavior modification, there's a practice called "extinction", wherein the negative behavior is ignored, garnering NO attention of any sort. The person is not ignored, only the unwanted behavior. This works because there's no loss of trust-based interaction.

Ignoring the person FOR their behavior does, in fact, destroy trust. It also can damage fragile self-images, communication lines & opportunities for positive feedback & reinforcement. Rather counter-productive, in most cases.

~K

(in reply to Kimveri)

Post #: 33

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/21/2010 12:21:47 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

I am a masochist who truly enjoys pain sensations to a high degree. One time His Evilness decided to punish me with pain & I got so upset I had to ask permission afterward to go into the bathroom to be sick. That was very effective punishment for me. I haven't done anything since that would require his punishing me. He would never ever ignore me as punishment. For me that would be emotional blackmail as others have stated. I think that is a wrong way to punish, at least for myself. It would lead to a lack of trust & trigger my abandonment issues.

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Forget your perfect offering
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Post #: 34

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/21/2010 1:58:27 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I have to respond to the concept of withdrawing attention as punishment, because nobody ever seems to question the notion.

This idea seems to have many supporters, but personally, I think it's a mistake. Maybe it's OK if the withdrawal of attention refers merely to "play time", or if the relationship is limited to such activities. Otherwise, it amounts to emotional blackmail, and IMO has no place in a real life relationship, especially if you want it to be long-term. Sure, the person being punished doesn't like it, but that's not the only criterion that needs to be considered. In the long run it destroys trust, and that's counterproductive. There's a reason that this is pretty universally recognized as a bad way to discipline children. Of course we're adults here, but even adult relationships depend on trust and feeling secure in the knowledge that your partner will always care for you. Withdrawal of attention crushes that.

I understand why a lot of people like it. It's an easy, lazy way out for the person who's withdrawing attention, and it seems effective because the object of punishment dislikes it. Come on dominants, suck it up and get a little creative for a change.

Emotional blackmail? You've gotta be kidding...!!! I could apply the same "black or white" logic to describe a punishment flogging as abuse or assault.

Me, I'm physically a big, strong man and there is no way I'm touching my girl when I'm angry, most especially if she's responsible for that anger. So what to do - set a future date to paddle her butt? While some do like such a concept, for me the headspace is all wrong. IE, if I'm no longer angry then I feel like an idiot conducting a punishment session. And that means I don't feel like the one in control of and making the choices in our relationship - been there; done that...!

It ain't all about the submissive. Now this particular lazy Dom is open to being a little more creative, but I couldn't help but notice there isn't a single suggestion in your post regarding better alternatives. Any fool can be a critic - THAT's lazy...

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 35

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/22/2010 5:13:54 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

I am a masochist who truly enjoys pain sensations to a high degree. One time His Evilness decided to punish me with pain & I got so upset I had to ask permission afterward to go into the bathroom to be sick. That was very effective punishment for me. I haven't done anything since that would require his punishing me. He would never ever ignore me as punishment. For me that would be emotional blackmail as others have stated. I think that is a wrong way to punish, at least for myself. It would lead to a lack of trust & trigger my abandonment issues.

Let's see if I'm understanding this....

You, as a masochist, can adjust your headspace (or are open to having your Dom adjust it for you) to differentiate between when a beating is for fun or when it's a punishment, yes?

But you couldn't do it to differentiate between getting marched to the corner by your angry Dom as opposed to, say, being shown the door?

It takes up to half an hour to cool down if I'm really pissed. Add a few seconds for when I then go fetch her and have a serious heart to heart. I'm talking a r/l, in the same house relationship here, not some numb-nuts online relationship where the "dom" you've never met vanishes for days or weeks on end...!

Half an hour (tops), in the *same* house - that would trigger trust and abandonment issues?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 36

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/22/2010 6:19:55 AM

winterrose77

Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Generally if someone enjoys pain, the best way to punish them is to tease them like crazy...spank them a little, but not hard enough to really sting; just generally drive them crazy, then tie them up and don't let them move. It keeps them in an agony. :)

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~Rose~

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."
-J. D. Salinger

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 37

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/22/2010 6:20:20 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Take it from a professional - ALL people have a threshold, even masochists.
Masochism doesn't mean no emotions, no nerve endings, no brains.
There are so many types of punishment but even a simple spanking can be made painful.

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 38

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/22/2010 10:29:24 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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I'd like to clarify my earlier post, since it's been to long and it's not editable. Sending me to a corner to think for a bit, or just having cool off time, is fine, and even commendable, cause I need time to cool off if things got heated or you won't reach me at all and it may escalate things if not left to cool off, And the same goes for him.

I'm talking about, where they leave you flapping in the wind with no idea what's going on, or why , or how long, or they think that simply not adressing an issue is a proper way to deal with said issue.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 39

RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/22/2010 11:01:06 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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Pretty much everything that can be used for pleasure can be used as pain or punishment.

Take an orgasm, most people love them, subs are no different there. If they are used to having just one, making them come ten times is gonna hurt.

Speaking of pain, hit a physical masochist hard enough and long enough, it can be a punishment.

Subs can be physical and emotional masochists, both, one or not at all. there are no hard fast rules.

I think it is more important to treat each one you meet as an individual and work out what hurts them the most

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 40

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