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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:23:10 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		After living with Him for four years, it meant leaving the life i'd built, the friends i made, the job i liked, the favorite places, the common haunts, the usual suspects, the comfortable rut for the Great Unknown.  There were some needs i had as to what the place offered: job availability, types of cultural activities i gravitate toward, access to things that were in line with how i hoped my future played out. . .
Now i'm considering relocating again, under my own direction and steam--the idea is a tad daunting, as it's not something i've really done before . . .
The list thus far for this next move:
"Cooler than here"
"Farther away from my fanged family but not so far that visiting is monetarily prohibitive"
"Somewhere i've never lived before"


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:55:20 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		If I said "willing to relocate" it would mean I had nothing tying me to my present location. It might mean I was in a job that could easily be tossed away. It could mean that family or friends here were not enough and leaving them might be ok for the right circumstance. If a male dominant had willing to relocate in his profile I would wonder why it was so easy to toss out a job, family, friends, ect... and what it took to create the right circumstance to leave. I would want to know the whole situation.

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 9:37:33 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey
The list thus far for this next move:
"Cooler than here"
"Farther away from my fanged family but not so far that visiting is monetarily prohibitive"
"Somewhere i've never lived before"


This is a good list. i have to admit to being prejudiced towards speaking with potential Owners that live in "cool" locations - the coasts, major cities, "cool" countries like Canada and the UK which still aren't TOO far away.

i am very experiential. i see life as all about the experiences you create - especially with another person.

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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 11:05:05 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

This is a good list.
Thanks. i'm hoping to add to and define it more until it coalesces into something like a solid plan.
i have to admit to being prejudiced towards speaking with potential Owners that live in "cool" locations - the coasts, major cities, "cool" countries like Canada and the UK which still aren't TOO far away.
i haven't moved around much, so i figure, why the funk not?
i am very experiential. i see life as all about the experiences you create - especially with another person.
D'oh!


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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 11:23:14 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams


Fair question. My location has family ties and responsibilities that keep me here for the first reason. The second reason, my business and income is derived because of my 40 years of contacts and reputation within the local business community that I serve. there possibly could be a "work around" for my business, my family responsibilities, can't be severed.



And yet, you are surprised that her location has family ties and responsibilities, plus that's where her business and income are? Willingness to locate means a willingness to locate if everything works out, not to lose everything. So if you work in an ad agency in L.A. you would be willing to relocate to another major city with several large ad agencies, where people would know and appreciate your work and you could find a job before the move.


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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 11:57:53 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I wasn't interested in people even if they did have "willing to relocate," since I need in-person time to establish a relationship. After a relationship was going well, sure, I'd move if we needed to. Unless the person had their own reasons for wanting to move and my area was one of the possibilities, I didn't really see any point in pursuing them to discover whether or not we could be compatible. If I lived in a small town with no local options, I'd probably be a lot more open to an LDR, but I didn't see it as necessary when I was looking.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:00:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		I suspect "willing to relocate" means they're willing to relocate.

Kind of along the same lines of someone that says they don't like fish...means they don't like fish.

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:36:27 PM   
CastleOfDreams


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
And yet, you are surprised that her location has family ties and responsibilities, plus that's where her business and income are? ......


Realistically then, why even check the box ??? To announce that should a zillion hoops get set up and then jumped through, you might consider moving ???

It goes back to the basis of this thread, what does "willing to relocate" really mean ???

It is looking that like just about everything else in this dynamic, it can mean just about anything, to whoever is reading or posting it.

I started this thread, partly to find out, and partly as a whine/rant over the frustrations of attempting to contact potential subs, only to find out "willing to relocate" didn't mean exactly what it said.

It would be refreshing to get an email back saying "you are a dork and no way would I move to be anywhere near you" for a change. 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:03:30 PM   
MrOncology


Posts: 33
Joined: 1/31/2010
Status: offline 		From what I've gathered, I think it means different things to different subs. I've spoken to a few people on here whom were willing to go from one country to another, and others who did not wish to relocate outside of their own state. I suppose it depends on other circumstances, how tied down are you to where you're at? Are there children involved? What about a successful career? Or family? Etc, etc.

I know this is kind of a weird thing to say, but it always bothers me when someone has a family, career, even children, and are willing to up and leave to go somewhere else on a whim. I suppose it's a personal thing, particularly since where I'm at, I do not wish to relocate, at least not until my doctorate is finished in 3 years, I've got too much that's holding me down aside from school itself. Seems a bit unstable to just get up and move at the drop of a hat.

Just my two cents :D

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:08:56 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Castle, I'd suggest you change your location to read something like "Home of Brett Favre, a bunch of other hot football studs, and really good cheese". There isn't a sub worth having that would turn down that combination....lol

Seriously, there are times ( not all times, I'm sure some are for real) that I think many females check "willing to relocate" because they aren't looking for a Dom, they're looking for a husband, and think offering up some mildly kinky sex might be a good way to snag one.

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:27:01 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		It means to be with the person with whom I'm having the relationship with. There's a ratio involved however - the greater the distance = the greater the chemistry necessary.

How far? That depends on the person. Almost all of my relationships have been LDRs and some have been international LDRs. I'm in the UK and have previously considered New Zealand, so distance for the right person isn't an issue.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:32:16 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		It means that who I'm  with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province. 

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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 2:43:40 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

It means that who I'm  with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province. 


How about a cage in a zoo, panda? ;-)

- LA

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RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 3:01:36 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Stick with pre- and menopausal women, Castle.  They're (we're) always looking for a cold place to be.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 4:45:17 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Castle,

I'm wondering when you start asking a sub to relocate. Right away? If you pressure a potential partner for a commitment to move, or ask to see evidence of her sincerity, just because you don't want to waste time, you are shooting yourself in the foot.

If you rush her, demanding a move, and she doesn't snap to, you've lost a friend.

Don't approach online sub hunting as a time sink. If you act like your time is far more valuable than anyone else's, you'll come off as arrogant or desperate. Relax, be patient, open-minded and make friends first.

January


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 9:33:03 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

It means that who I'm  with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province. 


How about a cage in a zoo, panda? ;-)


Well, you know... as long as it's not in New York City....


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/19/2010 9:45:43 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think willing to relocare is to pick up everything and drop stakes elaewhere. I would not like to leave my family, but if i was not woth my wonderful Master and a Dom i was involved with wanted me to relocate i would have to think long and hard about it. It will also have to be in the USA, this is my country i love it and do not want to leave it. Of course i would not get involoved with a dom who was not in the USA. Relocation maybe if i had a jib and my OWN place to live at least to start.

Matt's littleone

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/20/2010 4:40:57 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		If my parents were not alive, and the cultural shock of the move wasn't to great, I'd go anywhere to be with someone I loved. But I wouldn't do it till a relationship was well established and on firm ground.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams

The reason I ask, this is one of the qualifiers I use in the search of CM and more often than not, my location appears to be a liability, regardless of "willing to relocate" being checked or not.

I have read time and again over the years "I'd be willing to relocate for the right Dom".... yet as I have said, many times I have never even gotten a chance to learn about someone, or her me, because of my location.

So...... what does "willing to relocate" REALLY mean to you ???

Does it mean "within 50 miles" or....

Does it mean "to someplace way cooler than where I am now" or

What ????


(in reply to CastleOfDreams)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/20/2010 11:18:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Green Bay.. hmm.. at least it isnt International Falls!  That should be a selling point!  *grinz*

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/21/2010 6:13:03 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		....or Embarrass, MN..lol. 

When I was married I followed my husband from one end of the country to the other, i.e.,TN to NC, NC to AZ, AZ to MN, both shocks to the system, not to mention to my wardrobe..lol.  I'm flexible and make friends easily, but the problem, as many have pointed out, is how do you get to know someone well enough to make such a drastic change in your life.

My kids are grown and moved to other areas of the country -- 2 even moved back to MN, although i thought i raised them better (j/k...lol), so moving is the least of my worries.  What would concern me is being someplace where I didn't know anyone only to discover that we're just not compatible. 

The heart and the feet are open to a long distance move, but the brain worries.

PS: My kids have used the fact that they only had 40 inches of snow this year, but we had over 60 as points for me to consider moving back to MN.  I then point out that while we definitely had more snow, the temperature didn't get down to -32 degrees, even once..lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Green Bay.. hmm.. at least it isnt International Falls!  That should be a selling point!  *grinz*


_____________________________

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When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 40
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