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Domination motivation - 4/18/2010 5:06:55 AM

Myrryr

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/16/2010
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First, I'm brand new here, sorry if this quest has been asked before ><

I'm curious about the primary motivations of most Tops. What makes them want to dominate or their reasons behind it. When I initially discovered BDSM, I had fancied myself a Top but changed it later. My motivation being the reasoning, because I found as a Top in my mind that my entire driving goal, the only real reason for it was to do everything I could in order to pleasure the bound submissive, bringing them to the pinnacle of physical pleasure, whether they were reluctant or not. I came to the rather logical conclusion that that reasoning seems backwards, and especially after browsing these forums, albeit not very long yet, definitely seems to be the submissive way to view it, not the dominant one. So, hence my curiosity to ask actual experienced Dominants: Why?

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RE: Domination motivation - 4/18/2010 5:17:21 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

First then, welcome to the boards.

I would say that my motivation to be a dominant is inherent. It doesn't manifest itself as a desire outside of my everyday personality. I am simply a dominant person by nature (not to mix up with domineering of course).

As for the play, again, I believe the sadistic part of me is quite inherently motivated as well.

Now I am motivated to seek out a partner in the realm of WIITWD is because I believe in being true to my nature. Things seem to go better when I am.

What I like about being dominant in my relationships is that when I am with a someone who is strong and true to his nature, the relationship dynamics are very delightful, flow naturally and are pleasurable, beneficial and fulfilling for both.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 4/18/2010 5:18:38 AM >

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Domination motivation - 4/18/2010 10:28:01 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

(Male dom here)

For the record, I am quite interested in pleasing the woman I love. In fact, I'd say that that is a primary motivator in my life. I also don't think of that as having anything to do with whether or not I am dominant. I would call it "caring" or "loving".

In my opinion, "dominance" has more to do with whether you are in control of yourself and those around you than it does whether you like to please other people. I'm perfectly OK with being "dominant and nice".

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Myrryr)

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